


zen'yu

by nakamotosbff



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Familiars, Happy Ending, Healers, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Mentions of Death, Minor Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Royalty, Witches, aged down a little bit because i can, aka yuta, auras and stuff~, i promise no one dies, idk tags just deal with this for now, yuta is a witch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakamotosbff/pseuds/nakamotosbff
Summary: crown prince doyoung's younger brother jeno is fatally ill, and no doctor yet has been able to find a cure. that is, until eccentric witch yuta shows up, including his dog familiar nana and questionable methods.





	1. 16

**Author's Note:**

> gonna be a multichapter!! im pretty excited about this kdjd hope you'll like it

“Your majesty?” a soft voice sounded through the room, “your presence was requested by the prince.”

Doyoung resisted the urge to sigh and slowly stood up. “Alright.”

Doyoung loved his little brother, Jeno, to death, but in all honesty, he wasn't  looking too forward to seeing him nowadays. Jeno was ill. Very ill. A dozen of doctors and healers and so-called specialists had been called to the castle to cure him, but even a whole team hadn't  managed to save him.

Doyoung didn't  like admitting it, but he was slowly losing hope. If he wasn't cured really soon, his little brother would be gone.

His skin looked paper white, and he'd become skinny, his voice slow and soft, but he still looked as beautiful as he always did. Doyoung managed not to tear up at the sight of his little brother sitting up in the bed, only being able to with the support of a mountain of pillows.

He was always a happy, active child. Strong, cheerful and with a warm, loving heart. Doyoung was a good four years older than his brother, but they had always been inseparable, even when they grew older. Seeing the boy like this hurt Doyoung like nothing else ever could.

He looked thin, and frail. Weak. Not like the Jeno he knew and loved at all. He didn't  like seeing Jeno anymore, and he felt like a monster for it.

If only there was a cure.

Jeno smiled when he saw Doyoung enter the room, and Doyoung couldn't help but smile back despite the painful situation.

“How are you feeling today, kid?” Doyoung asked, trying and failing to put on a light-hearted tone. Jeno noticed ,  but didn't comment on it.

“Pretty good,” Jeno answered, his eyes narrowing into his signature smil. “I slept well tonight, and I feel pretty well-rested. I hope you're taking it easy as well, like I told you to?”

Doyoung shrugged a bit shamefully. What an embarrassment he was, having to be scolded by your younger, ill brother. He hadn’t been working as much as he'd wanted to, but definitely more than what Jeno considered as _taking it easy._ Doyoung didn't do _taking it easy._ Not now, at least, when one of them had to take over for their parents soon. Not when Jeno was like this.

Jeno chuckled weakly. “Sometimes I feel like this is taking more of a toll on you than on me,” he said jokingly, and Doyoung felt his betraying eyes start to prick with tears.

“Don't say dumb things like that,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.  “I'm very sorry you think that.”

“No,” Jeno said softly, “I'm sorry you feel like that. I just sleep and feel not so good sometimes. You're the one awake, working, looking after me and arranging doctor after doctor to come look at me.”

Doyoung was quiet for a while. “Jen,” he then said, “what if- what if there is no cure? What if I can't find a good doctor, what- what if you die?”

“I'll survive somehow,” Jeno said in a joking tone, but he now also looked sad. “Whatever happens happens, hyung, but please remember that I'm stronger than I look. We'll manage, okay?”

Doyoung gritted his teeth. “If only mother and father put _any_ effort in. It's like they don't even care that their second son is _dying."_

“It's okay, hyung,” Jeno said, patting Doyoungs arm. “You know what they're like. It doesn’t bother me. We'll find something. We'll make it.”

“ _You'l_ l make it, I'll make sure of that.  I promise I'll find a cure, no matter what it takes,” Doyoung said, determined.

“I'll find a way.”

***

_He pulled down his hood and took a closer look at the placard. A white Samoyed puppy appeared beside him and looked up at him with a questioning look._

_“That looks interesting, doesn't it Nana,” he said. The dog barked._

_The man thought for a while longer, then nodded and pulled his hood again._

_“Let's go.”_

***

It'd been days, and Doyoung still hadn't found a doctor they hadn't  tried yet when a servant barged into his room. They technically weren't even allowed to enter the quarters if not at  the prince's request, so when the man did, Doyoung assumed it must be _really_ urgent.

The servant had the decency of looking ashamed at his rude entrance, but the man was panting loudly. Doyoung didn't say anything.

“Your majesty,” the man said after a moment, still breathing loudly. “At the gates. There's- there’s someone saying he can heal the prince.”

Doyoungs eyes widened, and before he himself knew it he was up and running. It might be a trap. It might be a lie. No one could cure Jeno. It was probably just another haughty doctor thinking he could- could do _magic_ or something equally dumb and unreal.

But what if he did know a cure? What if he wasn’t just cocky? What if he could prove that magic and miracles were real? Doyoung couldn't afford to let _any_ chances of recovery go to waste.

He only slowed in his step when he arrived at the inner gate, where the new doctor should be. Doyoung didn't see anyone. Desperately, he turned around, and back around again.

_Where is he?_

Then, his eyes fell on a still figure, standing just a bit away in the shadows. The person was wearing a long, dark grey cloak, and when he stepped out of the shadows Doyoung saw the dog.

The Samoyed puppy looked a bit too big to be sitting in the man's cloaks hood like it was,  but the man didn’t seem to mind, as he showed no sign of discomfort. Carefully, Doyoung called out to him. “Who are you?”

The man stepped forward again, and Doyoung thought through a haze ‘ _oh, he's pretty. Looks intimidating, though. I wonder who it is. What does he want, and where's the doctor?’_

Then the man stepped into the light, and as Doyoung could finally fully see his face he smiled broadly. “Hi, I'm Nakamoto Yuta, a witch specialized in healing! This guy over here is Nana, my familiar.”

He put the dog on the ground, and it almost looked like it was smiling, tongue out of its mouth and tail wagging. Then the mans -Yuta's- words dawned in on him.

“But... how can you be a witch if you’re a man? Witches don't even exist.”

Yuta smiled again and shrugged, looking way too at ease in the for him unfamiliar place. Doyoung felt some annoyance bubbling up. He didn’t have the _time_ for this.

“I don't know, don't you think witch sounds a lot prettier than wizard? Gender is irrelevant anyway. Just call me a witch. Now, you probably know what I'm here for?”

Doyoungs mouth felt dry. “Jeno,” he said softly, and the man -Yuta- pulled up one eyebrow. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know his name, I just read the placard and saw the crown prince was looking for a competent healer. I'm one of the best!”

The man was eccentric, to say the least. Doyoung didn't trust him. He wasn't sure what to think of him. If he really was the best, Jeno might still have a chance of survival. But a witch? Doyoung wasn't sure if he liked that or not. He kind of wanted to kick Yuta out, but the possibility of this being their breakthrough was too tempting to resist.

Yuta had moved past Doyoung, casually ignoring the guards and strolling into the castle. “So,” he said airily, “where’s my patient?”

Doyoung sighed. He already had a feeling he wouldn’t get along with Yuta, but he had to do this. For Jeno.

Yuta didn't  keep his mouth shut for one second as they went up, not seeming to care about the presence of the guards at all. He only shut up when they arrived at the door of Jeno's room, and Doyoung felt a headache come up.

“Alright, so,” Yuta said, and Doyoung couldn't stop a groan from escaping. “Don’t do that. So, I'll do all the big work, such as diagnosing and the actual healing, and my dear Nana here will act as his nurse, of sorts.”

Doyoungs eyes widened. This was it. The last straw. He had only been inside for a few minutes, but Doyoung was convinced Yuta must be crazy.  One of the guards shot Doyoung a concerned look, but he signalled for them to stay back. Yuta was weird, but not dangerous. He hoped.

“You mean... your dog. Is going to care for Jeno.”

Yuta pulled up another eyebrow. Then he seemed to understand something, and smiled again. “You truly have no understanding nor knowledge of witches, do you?”

“Because they don't exist!” Doyoung hissed, getting fed up. This was a serious issue. His baby brother was on the other side of that door,  _dying._ And here Yuta was, making stupid jokes about dog nurses and witches and Doyoung just didn't want to waste _any_ more time on this.

Before he could tell the guards to take Yuta outside, he spoke up again. “I said Nana is my familiar, right. It means he's a special dog. Only for witches. He can change into a human.”

Doyoung felt dizzy. He already had a headache, and now this headcase of a human being was proclaiming his dog could turn into a human.

“Prove it to me, then.”

Yuta groaned. “Noo, don't say that. He'll just take that as an excuse to—oh, right! Too late, here he goes.”

Doyoung hastily looked from Yuta to the dog, who was softly glowing now, and with a pop,  where had earlier been a fluffy, white Samoyed puppy now stood a young boy with a pretty face, big eyes and a smile as dazzling as Yuta's, a few centimeters taller than the witch.

“Na Jaemin, nice to meet you!”

***

It took Doyoung, to his own pride, only a few minutes to recover. Then, he, although begrudgingly, admitted to himself that there was at least some kind of magic going on here, and let Yuta and Jaemin follow him into the room.

He gently closed the door and swallowed heavily. Jeno was asleep, features too skinny and skin still as white as paper. “Hmm,” Yuta hummed as he walked closer to the bed positioned in the middle of the room. “Well, I can at least say he doesn’t look to be doing well at all.”

Doyoung chose not to comment on that. He figured he had to pretend to be nice to the self-proclaimed healer at least until he proved to be useless (like all earlier doctors). Yelling at him probably wouldn’t come across as very friendly. The grin Jaemin sent his way told him the familiar knew anyway.

Doyoung took a deep breath. “That’s Jeno. Seventeen. We don’t know what happened. One day he just didn’t feel so well, passed out and never recovered. He’s getting weaker every day and we’re frankly starting to lose hope.”

Yuta hummed, sounding and looking serious for the first time since Doyoung had met him. Jaemin was constantly close to him, looking at Jeno over Yuta’s shoulder.

“I’ll need to get a better feel of the air before I can do anything, though,” Yuta said, not looking up at Doyoung. “You know. His aura. The general feel, his fate and all that jazz.”

Doyoung held back a scoff. “And how do you plan to do that?”

Yuta shrugged. “You wouldn’t understand. Just stand back and watch as I do my job.”

Doyoung was still hesitant. “You’re in here now, but how do I know I can trust you? How do I know you can even heal? You just- just showed up out of the blue and don’t even know his name and now you’re talking about feeling auras and fate, I- you’re not trustworthy at all to me right now.”

Yuta then turned around to Doyoung, a small smile on his lips. “Fair enough, smartypants. Come here, then, I’ll prove it to you.”

Doyoung hesitantly took a step closer, and before Doyoung could blink again Yuta had pulled out a small knife out of seemingly nowhere. Less than a second a slow trickle of blood was steadily flowing out of a small cut on his arm, and Doyoung didn’t register the sharp, stinging pain until another second later.

It then properly started to hurt. Yuta put some sort of leaf (that also seemed to have appeared out of nowhere) around the wound and muttered some unintelligible phrases. When he pulled the leaf away, there was no wound to be seen. Only a tiny, thin, white scar where the wound had been merely seconds ago.

“Believe me now?” Yuta asked, nonchalantly cleaning the knife and putting it back under his cloak. Doyoung could only blink, too stupefied to say anything.

“Are you- You just.. Are you insane?”

“I healed you, didn’t I? As I said I could. Now will you please let me look after your brother?” Yuta said, sounding a bit exasperated. (That pissed Doyoung off even further. Yuta had literally no right to sound or even feel annoyed right now.)

Too mad to speak, Doyoung stepped back and vaguely motioned in Jeno’s direction. Yuta seemed to get the hint, and moved back over to the bed.

He blew some powder into the air, which shimmered and disappeared again. Doyoung couldn’t see anything special, but he guessed Yuta could, since he was…

Well, to be honest, Doyoung had no idea what Yuta was doing, and it didn’t look like anything that could possibly be useful at all. Doyoung’s eyes kept straying back to the small, fresh scar. His skin didn’t hurt, didn’t even tingle as he gently touched the scabbed skin. It was like nothing had happened.

Meanwhile, Yuta was just… walking around Jeno’s bed, sometimes standing still and closing his eyes, letting his fingers ghost over Jeno’s still, sleeping form.

“Please tell me you’re actually doing something?” Doyoung exclaimed after a few minutes of the same ministrations repeating again and again. He felt equally hopeless as helpless. Yuta just wagged a finger in the air and shushed him without even sparing him a glance.

“I’m getting _very_ impatient,” Doyoung said, a little louder now. At that, Yuta did look up at him, and was quickly coming closer. He looked annoyed. It made Doyoung angry.

“No screaming around the patient!” Yuta suddenly yelled, interrupting Doyoungs oncoming flood of complaints. He ushered Doyoung out of the room with more strength than Doyoung expected him to have at first glance, even though he was small but stocky. Then he closed the door behind Doyoung, who was too flabbergasted to say a word in protest.

“ _Please_ just have some faith, I know what I’m doing,” Yuta then said loudly through the wooden door, the sound of footsteps walking away immediately following. There was no other option for him than to let his back rest against the door, sit down, and wait until Yuta came out with, hopefully, some news or a cure.

Doyoung didn't know what he was doing. He could have the guards knock down that door right now, drag Yuta out and never see him and his obnoxious, untrustworthy face ever again. Technically, Yuta wasn't even allowed to speak to Doyoung like that. Not that Doyoung would usually care much, but this was Yuta. He could let anything he wanted be done with Yuta. Yet, he let him do whatever  _he_ wanted. Why?

Doyoung knew, without having to think much about it. Absentmindedly, his fingers stroked over the scar again. He'd experienced what Yuta could do, and he'd done it with so much practiced ease Doyoung hardly doubted this was all Yuta could do. All 'normal' doctors had been of no help. As much as Doyoung distrusted and disliked Yuta, as of now the weird man in the long, mysterious cloak was his last and only hope.

 _I don’t know what I’d do if Yuta is lying,_ he thought to himself. _He better know what he’s doing._ Doyoung felt like crying.


	2. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's winter break so i'm trying to get as much of this done as soon as possible so i'm done before i lose inspiration again jhdskkdhfd

It felt like hours, instead of what was probably mere minutes, when Yuta finally left the room again. Immediately Doyoung stood up straight, wiping his clammy hands on his robes. “And?”

Yuta didn’t reply at first, walking past Doyoung without a care in the world. It pissed him off. Couldn’t he at least pretend to have any respect? Though, in a way, it was also kind of nice. The other doctors had only tried very hard to appeal themselves to Doyoung, only to not have a cure for Jeno. If Yuta knew of a way to cure him, his behaviour would of course still be disrespectful, but more than excused. Doyoung was desparate past the point of caring for semantics, or even his own safety. All he wanted was for Jeno to be healthy again.

“You reckon I could stay here for a while? It’s a very pretty castle,” Yuta airily commented, his eyes on the decorations on the ceiling.

“Can you help Jeno?” Doyoung pressed, and now Yuta did look at him. Doyoung noticed the surprised glint in Yuta’s eyes, but didn’t bother trying to think about why that could be.

“Hm? Can you?”

Yuta looked away, and that’s when Doyoung realized Jaemin was back in his… puppy form. That’d definitely take some time to get used to.

“I… _can_ help him,” Yuta started, and Doyoung froze up at the hesitant tone Yuta had taken on. This was the first time he’d heard Yuta sound any less than confident and sure of himself, and he did not like it.

“But?” Doyoung voiced what Yuta wouldn’t say. The way Yuta slightly flinched only confirmed to him that there was indeed a but in this.

“But, I can’t promise he’ll go back to how he was. The situation is.. worse than I expected. I can cure him to the point where he’s no longer ill, but I’m not sure if I can completely heal him. And even that is going to take a long time. I will need a place to stay and a helping hand, if Nana is going to care for him.”

Doyoung breathed out slowly and let Yuta’s words dawn in on him. For the first time that afternoon, Doyoung allowed himself to show his emotions, and he freely let Yuta see the tears that grew in his eyes.

It was enough. Yuta couldn’t offer everything Doyoung wanted, but it was more than anyone else had been able to offer. It was enough for Doyoung.

“As long as I can be sure he won’t die, I’m happy,” Doyoung said, swallowing the other tears. Yuta had seen enough. “Thank you. And if you’d accept me, I’d gladly be of your assistance. You’re an annoying piece of shit, but I’d be eternally grateful if you could really heal my brother. I’m assuming he needs to be taken care of in a special way for this way of healing, so I will accept Jaemin as his caretaker.”

Yuta just laughed at the insult. “Smart guy. Those nurses in there have no clue what they’re dealing with. Just let us do the work from now on. I promise I’ll heal him. Are you sure _you_ want to be the assistant, though?”

Doyoung frowned. “What, you think I’m incapable?”

Yuta snorted at that. “No, you’re smart enough. Just didn’t want your princely self to get offended and behead me if I ordered you around. Remember you will be my assistant and thus have to follow me.”

Doyoung huffed. “I’m not some crybaby, I can handle it.”

“Alright, alright,” Yuta said, trying and failing to hold back a mocking laugh. “Just don’t get pissy when something doesn’t go to your liking.”

“I get it,” Doyoung snarked back, “mister high and mighty witch doesn’t want to lose his pretty head yet. I can control myself, for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re 100 percent, _completely_ sure you won’t get mad?” Yuta teased one last time, and Doyoung rolled his eyes back so far it almost hurt. He huffed again and turned Yuta around, pushing him by his shoulders. Doyoung was glad he was at least taller than him.

“The servants will show you and Jaemin to a room, now thank you, I’ll see you in the morning,” Doyoung rushed to say, eager to get the man out of his sight.

“Aw, I’ll miss you too!” Yuta said, now full-on laughing in Doyoung’s face. With all the self-control Doyoung could muster, he left Yuta with the servants and went to his own quarters.

It had only been a few hours, and Nakamoto Yuta, that stupid witch, was already driving him insane.

***

Morning came way too soon. Jeno hadn’t woken up last night, and since there were no servants in his room right now either, he assumed he was still unconscious. Every single day, Doyoung feared for a time where Jeno would just not wake up anymore.

Doyoung quickly got dressed in comfortable clothing, rejecting the help of servants, and went down to the dining hall.

The second he walked in and spotted the two figures sitting on the other side of the table, he turned around and walked back out.

Right. So that wasn’t a dream. He quickly pinched himself, flinching at the sting. Definitely not a dream. He felt his energy flow out of his body, already tired.  Doyoung was _not_ ready to deal with Yuta this early in the morning. He knew Yuta had already seen him, though. It would be foolish of him not to go back into the dining hall.

So, he steeled himself and reminded himself that this was only temporary. He was here to help Doyoung. That was great. After that, he’d never have to see Yuta again.

With that thought he took a last deep breath and went back inside. He was immediately greeted by a shit-eating grin from Yuta, and nope, he was definitely not prepared enough to face the witch. He sucked it up, though, and took a seat across Yuta and started eating as soon as the kitchen servants placed his breakfast in front of him.

Eating was good. Eating was comfortable, no need to talk, no need to look at Yuta’s face. Jaemin was in his human form, and Doyoung decided he preferred that. It was less hard to imagine the cute teenager as a puppy than the other way around. He wasn’t used to anything magical at all, so having both a witch and his familiar in such close proximity felt strange.

To his credit, Yuta didn’t try to speak to him as he was eating. Instead, when he’d finished his own breakfast, he just leaned his chin in his hands and stared at Doyoung, his lips curled up in a grin. Doyoung didn’t tell him off. He already knew that’d just be the start of a useless, annoying conversation with Yuta as the winner. Doyoung didn’t have enough patience to deal with him as of now.

“So,” Yuta drawled when Doyoung was finished, “ready to go out today? After we visit pretty boy, of course.”

Doyoung pulled up one eyebrow, wiping his mouth with a paper towel.

“What?” Yuta said, “you can’t deny your brother is a looker, even like this.”

Right. Jeno. Doyoung wasn’t sure if he liked how casually Yuta spoke of him, but then again, to Doyoung Jeno was someone incredibly precious, on the brink of death. To Yuta, Jeno was merely a patient, a _project,_ maybe even. Someone he was sure he could heal.

“Right,” Doyoung mumbled in response, “but what for?”

“I’ll need to check his energy regularly,” Yuta explained seriously, “I can’t afford to accidentally use too much of something.”

“And going out? What did you mean by that?” Doyoung asked.

A dangerous, amused glint appeared in Yuta’s eyes, and he shrugged. “Oh, y’know, the woods. We’ll need to find ingredients. I don’t assume you have everything in here. Some things have to be forged with different herbs. We’re going to have some fun outside while Jaeminnie here plays the doting nurse.”

Doyoung narrowed his eyes and stood up, readying himself to take the two to Jeno’s room. “I hope for your own health that you’re not playing with me, and that we’ll be safe and Jaemin won’t just _play_ nurse.”

Yuta laughed. “Oh, you worry too much, we’ll be perfectly fine.”

“I promise to look after him well, hyung,” Jaemin added, voice a bit too like Yuta’s, the teasing lilt present.

Doyoung was annoyed. And a bit angry now, as well. Yuta telling him he worried too much definitely hit a wrong nerve. It was his job as Jeno’s older brother and caretaker to worry over him, as much as it was his job to worry as heir to the throne. He couldn’t simply not worry. God knew his parents wouldn’t do anything for him, either.

However, Jeno’s health now, no matter how much Doyoung disliked it, lied in Yuta’s hands, and all he could do was hope Yuta spoke the truth and trust his abilities.

It was difficult, but it was his only chance.

***

It turned out Yuta was a lot less obnoxious outside that inside, cooped up in the castle. When Doyoung asked him why, Yuta said it was because inside such a stuffy building, however beautiful, his wonderful personality was contained. Doyoung only scoffed and continued walking.

Outside, Yuta was still annoying and taunting, but less snarky and perhaps even kind of cute. He walked from tree to tree, talked to the clouds and occasionally bent down to (very) closely inspect some plant or insect. He smiled much more, and not the amused smirk he’d been sending Doyoungs way all the time in the castle.

He still talked too much, but instead of useless discussions, it was now useless facts about everything he saw around him with a bit too much enthusiasm. It was almost like he was glad to be outside again. Like he disliked being inside a house, even though the castle was very spacious and lavish.

“Where did you come from?” Doyoung asked, kind of out of the blue, and Yuta was distracted as the story he was telling about Jaemin was so rudely cut short. It took him only a second to recover, and then he smiled.

“Kind of nowhere and anywhere,” he answered vaguely, and this already answered a part of Doyoungs suspicions.

“It’s not like we have to live on the streets, not at all. We live comfortably enough to be able to afford a house if we sold a bit more of the stuff we make, but we don’t really like it. Jaemin gets fussy sometimes, but we love being out in the world.”

Yuta’s answer was surprisingly sincere, and it shocked Doyoung. He had half expected of Yuta to make up a vague excuse or say something useless as “wouldn’t you like to know?”. It wasn’t at all. The honesty and contentment sounded through in his voice, and it made Doyoung curious to know how exactly they lived, and what it’d be like.

Yuta probably saw it on his face, or felt it, or whatever weird thing he did with his witch abilities. (What were his witch abilities? Doyoung realized he hadn’t asked anything about Yuta’s powers and magic yet, and he half-heartedly scolded himself for his senseless behaviour towards Yuta until now. What if he was strong? So strong it was potentially dangerous?)

“What, surprised I can be nice?” Yuta said, and back was the cunning grin.

Doyoung scoffed. “With the way you’ve been behaving? Yes. And stop smiling at me like that, it’s disturbing.”

“Aww, but it’s part of my repertoire!” Yuta said, laughing and adorning a small (not at all cute) pout.

“Your r _epertoire?_ ”

“Yeah, y’know? My whole vibe? It’s the signature healing smile! You’re supposed to love it and fall at my feet now, by the way” Yuta said, his tone turning teasing at the last words.

Healing smile.

“Really?” was all Doyoung could say. “You’re seriously pulling that, right here in my presence? Please do me a favour and get out of my face, right now. Oh my God. That’s absolutely awful.”

“I bet you secretly adore it,” Yuta said, sounding satisfied. Doyoung didn’t dare look at him, positive his ears were glaringly red. Curse him and his inability to process any sort of flattering talk. He didn’t want Yuta to know it kind of worked.

“Besides,’ Yuta airily added while walking a bit faster, smiling at Doyoung over his shoulder, “your princely ass would probably die if I left you alone here.”

At this, Doyoung finally got a chance to prove himself, and it was now his turn to smirk. “Try me, witch.”

Yuta chuckled. “Okay, was that just you calling me by my occupation or insulting me? I couldn’t really properly discern that, with your vicious expression and all.”

Doyoung knew Yuta wouldn’t be intimidated if he actually glared at him, so he settled for just rolling his eyes. “I was insulting you. Don’t try me. I grew up in these woods.”

“I thought princes were pampered and not allowed to go outside?” Yuta said, teasing tone still in his voice, but genuine interest and curiosity now also sounding through.

“Oh, I wasn’t,” Doyoung said, and Yuta whistled.

“So pretty boy was a rebellious teenager?” he asked, looking ahead at the path. Doyoung laughed.

“As a teenager I didn’t even have time to rebel, I had to study. I bet you were already roaming the woods then. I was just stuck in a classroom. I have to admit I was a bit rowdy as a child, though. I escaped through a hole in the wall and would play in the woods for hours. I probably know this area better than the castle itself.”

Yuta raised an eyebrow, impressed. “That’s nice,” he said, “and partly yes. I was roaming around back then, just not the woods. Kind of… anywhere I wouldn’t be kicked out. I was still learning to do my magic and didn’t have a familiar, so I was kind of a wild card. I’m also from overseas, so I just went wherever I wanted to go for half of my life.”

Doyoung pondered over that for a while. It must’ve been hard to live an survive on your own at a young age, but Yuta didn’t have any sadness or regret in his voice as he talked about his teenage years. Doyoung hated to admit he was kind of jealous. He was raised for a purpose, and he didn’t mind it, but he would’ve liked to travel further than just these woods before he would undoubtedly become king and be stuck inside the castle for the rest of his life.

It was a pity he hadn’t been able to go out more, but life was as it was, and Doyoung didn’t like taking it for granted. He knew his youth could’ve been a lot harder. He’d grown up rich and prestigious, and with all the comforts he wanted at his feet.

He wasn’t sure if that was what was best for himself, but as he’d always been taught, the kingdom comes first. Always.

His attention snapped back to the woods and the reason they were here when Yuta called out for him to hurry up. He quickly followed Yuta, deeper into the forest.

“So, what exactly are we looking for?” Doyoung asked Yuta, who only shrugged and kept his eyes firmly rooted on the forest floor.

After a while of walking in circles, Yuta bent down and pulled a plant that just looked like a weed out of the ground, and held it up in front of Doyoung.  “Try to find these and pull them out, but mind the roots. They’re poisonous. We’re cooking those for the first potion!”

“Poisonous roots?” Doyoung asked incredulously. “Are you looking to poison my brother? You didn’t forget you’re supposed to _heal_ him, right?”

“With the boiling the poison kind of wears off, and the remaining poison helps fight off the bacteria and stuff,” Yuta said, waving the plant in front of Doyoungs face impatiently. “Or whatever it’s called. I was never good at biology,” Doyoung heard Yuta mutter afterwards, but for his own nerves, he chose to ignore it.

Doyoung sighed. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do,” Yuta confidently said. “It works. Just trust me.”

“But…” Doyoung began, suddenly thinking about Yuta’s witch status again. “how do I know I can trust you?”

Yuta sighed deeply, but when he turned back around to face Doyoung, his face was friendly. “Look, I get that it’s all weird and scary and whatever else, and yes, I’m a decently powerful witch, and yes I could kill you if I wanted to.”

Doyoung tried to not let his spiking fear show, but Yuta saw it anyway. Hurt flashed through his eyes, but both quickly composed themselves.

“Just…” Yuta said softly, placing a hand on Doyoungs shoulder. Doyoung prided himself on not flinching back, even though all his nerves and instincts were yelling at him to run. “Please try to trust me, okay? I promise on my life I’ll do anything  I can to finish this job properly, and then I’ll be out of your hair. Besides, if I’d been out to kill either of you, I would’ve done it hours ago. Now let’s go.”

Yuta turned around and walked ahead, Doyoung following after a few seconds. He decided to trust Yuta. At least for now.

Yuta had said he’d try to be _out of his hair_ as soon as he was finished. As quickly as possible _._ It was probably for the better if the job was done soon. No more Yuta, healthy Jeno.

It took all of Doyoungs willpower to ignore the fleeting feeling of disappointment.


	3. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote 3k in one go enjoy  
> warning: unedited. possibly emo.

“Is there more we need?” Doyoung asked after they'd been walking around for four hours already. He surely didn't mind being in the woods, but they also had to find their way out and walk back to the castle, and that could easily take another hour.

During those four hours, Yuta had picked up random herbs, including the poisonous flower roots, and some mushrooms. Doyoung wasn't too sure what magic those would do, but he once again just hoped Yuta knew what he was doing.

Yuta stood still and looked at Doyoung, contemplating his question. “I’m not sure,” he mumbled. “What, do you think we should go back?”

“I thought you made the decisions here?” Doyoung said in a mocking tone, still not completely over how Yuta had so carelessly disregarded his position and called Doyoung his assistant.

“Oh, right,” Yuta said cheerfully. He was looking at Doyoung still, a strange look in his eyes Doyoung wasn't sure he wanted to understand. “Yes, of course, I’m the boss here, you're just helping me. I... I think we're good for now. Pretty boy can hold out for some more time with just the stuff we've got now.”

Doyoung hesitated. “You mean this isn’t enough for the cure?”

Yuta shook his head, bending down to gather the things they'd found. “No, it definitely isn't. We could stay longer and get everything we need and then I'd be done in less than a week time, but... I think it'd be safer to take it easy on both of us and go slow. Healing isn't only hard on his body, it also takes a lot of energy for me.”

Doyoung nodded. That was completely understandable. He couldn't say he liked the idea of Yuta staying longer than a week, but he didn't know how witch practices worked and how much of a toll the healing process would take on Yuta, and while the man was annoying, he was doing important work and Doyoung wouldn't wish any pain on him.

Deciding going with Yuta's opinion would be best, Doyoung turned around and waved a hand. “Come on, then,” he said, “I'’ll show you the way back.”

Yuta grinned suspiciously, but didn't say anything. He simply handed Doyoung a handful of herbs for him to carry and followed him down the path. It wasn't long until the silence was broken by Yuta again, rambling about any and everything he saw, but Doyoung found he didn't mind it as much when they were outside like this than when in the confines of the castle.

That didn’t mean he liked Yuta now, of course. Inside the  castle, he was still annoying and a piece of shit. He was just... tolerable. Only outside.

***

Doyoung couldn't really believe his eyes when he stepped inside Jeno's room, and he had to look again to make sure he wasn't imagining it, or hallucinating. There was _really_ a white Samoyed puppy, lying on top of the covers, snuggled up to Jeno.

“Na Jaemin,” Doyoung mumbled under his breath, but no one seemed to have heard. With a frown, he turned around to Yuta and stretched one arm to point at Jaemin and Jeno behind him.

“Nakamoto Yuta, mind explaining to me why,” he said, suddenly feeling angry, “ _why_ there’s a _dog_ in Jeno’s bed?”

Yuta also furrowed his eyebrows, but there was an amused tilt to his mouth. Not that Doyoung wasn’t used to that by now. It was irritating. “Mind your words, please. I don’t see any dogs, only a dog _familiar,_ doing his job perfectly the way he should.”

“Sleeping on the patients bed? In his dog form? You call that doing his job?” Doyoung fumed.

Yuta merely pulled up his eyebrows. Then he scoffed. “You truly know _nothing_ about witch and familiar culture, do you? Let alone out powers and abilities, exactly?”

Doyoung huffed and crossed his arms, not letting his eyes stray from Yuta’s for one second. He had to show his position and power here. He couldn’t let Yuta win. “And what if I don’t? There aren’t exactly books written about your kind.”

“Our kind?” Yuta shook his head, heaving a deep sigh. “You’re so clueless it’s almost cute. Almost, though. In your case it’s just annoying.”

Doyoung was tempted to remind Yuta of his position inside this castle, but he remembered just in time that now, he was under Yuta. Until Jeno was healed, he needed Yuta, and needed him to stay. As much as he disliked it, he’d have to play nice for as long as necessary.

“Then explain it to me,” Doyoung snarked, holding a colourful curse back for Yuta’s sake. Or maybe his own. Who cared, really.

“Since you asked so nicely,” Yuta responded with a sickeningly sweet smile, and gestured for Doyoung to sit down on one of the chairs in the room, he himself taking another.

“Shouldn’t you check up on Jeno first?” Doyoung said quickly, more worried about his brother than the fact that he didn’t know anything about witched.

“Nana’s fine, let me explain first. I’m not working another day with you if you stay this dumb about it,” he said dismissively, and Doyoung begrudgingly settled in his chair. “Firstly, most witches are born with a talent for witchery and magic, but regular people can become witches as well if they study for it hard enough. Well, it wouldn’t be called a witch, then, but they’d be able to perform similar practices. Just… less powerful. Less magical. Cause they don’t have magic.”

Doyoung nodded a few times to show he was still keeping up with Yuta. He wasn’t as dumb as Yuta made him out to be. He’d prove it, whatever it took.

“Then… familiars. They’re a key part of the existence of a witch. You could function without a familiar, but it’d be like… being visually or hearing impaired, or being crippled. I think. Familiars strengthen our magic and do the whole _inside_ and _personal_ thing for us.”

“That sounds a bit ominous, what do you mean with inside and personal?” Doyoung asked, not being able to keep his mouth shut. The look Yuta shot him would’ve had Doyoung out of his seat otherwise, but for now he took it as a sign to let Yuta finish and keep his mouth shut.

That was not something Doyoung liked to do, but he didn’t have much of a choice. That also wasn’t something he liked, but he’d have to deal with it.

“Let me _explain,_ ” Yuta continued, sounding only a little bit exasperated, and Doyoung nodded to let Yuta know he’d (try to) keep quiet.

“The inside stuff is… well, I guess the best way to explain it would be the soul stuff.” Doyoung’s eyes widened, but Yuta didn’t waste a second to glare at Doyoung again, and he didn’t say anything. “Familiars have, if they have permission or some help if it’s a tough person, the ability to read souls. I’m a healer, so I wouldn’t be able to function without Nana at all. I do the healing, but it can take a while in some cases, and he keeps the patient stable and helps me read inside them to see what’s wrong.”

“So he did the diagnosis,” Doyoung muttered, and Yuta shrugged.

“I read the symptoms, but it wouldn’t have been possible without Nana reaching into Jeno’s soul for me,” Yuta said, like it was nothing special that Jaemin had been rooting through Jeno’s _soul._

“It’s of absolutely no harm to the patient, if you were worried,” Yuta said, eyeing Doyoung curiously. “He didn’t even feel a thing, and it was necessary to be able to heal him. But, familiars… they also have a calming aura. It’s how they keep the patients stable. Him sleeping next to Jeno in his dog form is to keep Jeno’s aura calm, and his situation stable. It’s… it creates a bond, of some sorts, and with that, he’ll be able to keep Jeno safe. At least, for now.”

Doyoung had been keeping up pretty well, but he still needed some time to let everything sink in. After a few minutes, he turned around to Jeno, letting his eyes fall on the bed. Jaemin had changed back to his human form and was, luckily, still clothed, sitting on the side of the bed.

Doyoung swallowed and stood up, standing at Jeno’s bedside. His fingers were itching to reach out and touch Jeno’s face, but he held himself back. Instead, he asked with a shaky voice “How is he?”, turning his attention to Jaemin. The latter was already looking at him with a pensive look on his face.

“Not better, of course,” he then said, but he didn’t look stressed either. Doyoung looked back at Jeno, and he indeed didn’t look any better. His eyes were closed and his skin was cold as ice despite the room being heated and being wrapped up in multiple blankets. He didn’t move.

However, it pleased Doyoung to see that his features were completely relaxed. He looked almost… “Peaceful, right?” Jaemin said with a smile, tilting his head in a cutely charming way. Jaemin was sure something. “That’s what you were thinking about, right?”

Doyoung only nodded and lightly stroked Jeno’s forehead, stepping back again. “Yes, he looks peaceful. That… I’m glad.” He didn’t want to make his emotions too obvious in front of Jaemin and Yuta, but he did want to express his gratitude.

He was still wary of Yuta’s methods, and he still didn’t really understand what exactly Jaemin had done to or for Jeno in the time he and Yuta had been away, but Jeno looked calm. That was at least something, and more than those lousy doctors from earlier had been able to achieve.

Their ‘cures’ had only made Jeno feverish, or made things worse. Once, he’d almost died. Doyoung quickly shrugged the memory off. Jeno was… too precious to him. They had parents who were perfectly fine, but to Doyoung, Jeno was his only true family. His parents only served as people who had given them a place to stay and food. They hadn’t raised either of them personally, had only overseen that they both went to their required classes and led their own lives apart from Doyoung and Jeno.

Doyoung didn’t care. He loved Jeno. He didn’t need them at all.

However, sometimes he was bitterly reminded of the fact that they were still very much his parents, and in a higher position than him. He was taken away from the dinner table, a few hours later, and led into a different room where both of his parents had sat down in their usual overly luxurious stools.

“What do you want?” Doyoung asked in a harsh but polite tone. He didn’t sit down. He disliked them, but was forced to be polite to them still. He was sure they’d be furious if he didn’t.

“Nice to see you too, Dongyoung,” his father spat, motioning for Doyoung to sit down. He didn’t. He’d be out of that room as soon as possible. If he sat down, it’d only last longer. “We’ve been alerted that you took another so-called healer into the castle. Again. I thought we agreed on something?”

“We didn’t,” Doyoung said, voice monotone. He was already tired of them, and he’d only been in their presence for a minute. He wished he had a way to alert Yuta, so the other could find an excuse to get him out. “We didn’t agree on _anything._ You told me to let Jeno rot away.”

“Dongyoung!” his mother snapped, “that was not your fathers intention, nor is that what he said. We agreed that it was a hopeless case. He cannot be cured.”

“He can,” Doyoung replied, feeling strangely emotional at his parents’ careless words. He had no reason to trust Yuta yet, but there was something about the man that told him he wasn’t just bluffing. That he could actually heal Jeno. He struggled to keep his voice level.

“This one is different. I feel like he could succeed,” Doyoung continued, pushing the thoughts of why on earth he was defending Yuta aside. “He has the resources, and… I’m afraid he’s our last chance.”

“You’ve already had your chance,” his father interrupted coldly. “I believe we told you to stop looking. It’s done. Jeno won’t heal, and we came to terms with that. Now it’s your turn. Give up.”

Doyoung had been trying hard to keep calm, but this was the last straw. He was _fuming._

In all the months Jeno had been sick, in all the days Doyoung had been struggling to keep his head up, struggling to find an adequate cure for his precious little brother, in all that time Jeno had been fighting for his _life…_ His parents had shoved the responsibility onto Doyoung, and continued with their usual duties and lives.

Doyoung wouldn’t be surprised if they hadn’t checked up on their second son even once. He’d actually be surprised if they had. All they’d done was pay for the, in the end completely useless, doctors. They didn’t know about Yuta. This was all on Doyoung, and he was determined. He was going to save his brothers life, and he was going to make sure Yuta and Jaemin got everything they wished for if they succeeded.

Before he even noticed it, he had balled his fists and was yelling at his parents.

“You have no right to say anything! You haven’t done anything. You don’t deserve to be called his parents. I tolerated you for so long, because I sincerely believe it’s my duty to, but both Jeno and I owe you _nothing._ We _will_ take care of this. Jeno _will_ be cured, and that’s final.”

Breathing heavily, Doyoung quieted down. His words dawned in on him only seconds later. His parents looked strangely proud, mixed with disdain. Doyoung could already guess what they were thinking. ‘Dongyoung won’t let others walk over him, that’s good. What a little brat. Yelling at his own parents like that.’

They were disgusting. All Doyoung wanted was to get out of that cursed room as quickly as possible. So he did.

On his way out, he nearly bumped into Yuta, who caught him by the elbows and walked with him to the gardens. Feeling exhausted and angry, Doyoung let Yuta drag him there, too tired to object.

“Okay, so don’t be mad but I overheard most of that conversation,” Yuta said in an airy tone after sitting Doyoung down on the grass. Doyoung could feel the tension, though. He was mad. Yuta wanted to cheer him up. It was sweet.

Pushing the thought back into the depths of his mind, he turned his face to Yuta. The latter shot him a smile, devoid of any of the amused animosity that had been there earlier. It occurred to Doyoung that Yuta might really be trying to cheer him up, and the thought made him want to smile as well. He didn’t, though, and let out a deep sigh instead.

“I regret praising you now,” Doyoung mumbled, and Yuta snickered.

“Okay, didn’t hear that. Wish I had, though. Thanks for telling me anyway.”

Doyoung huffed. Of course. Stupid Yuta.

“What I wanted to say,” Yuta started again, sounding a bit less awkward this time, “what I want to say is that your parents are extreme dicks, and… yeah, I don’t really know. I couldn’t imagine having to live with that.”

Doyoung chuckled bitterly. “Me neither, glad I don’t. I barely ever see them. They’re… they’re not really parents.”

“Just sperm donors and carriers, right,” Yuta remarked cheerfully, and this time Doyoung couldn’t keep in a smile.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said, brows immediately furrowing again as he thought back to the earlier conversation.

“Yeah, okay, we’re _not_ going to do that,” Yuta said loudly, his hands raising to smooth out the wrinkles that had appeared on Doyoungs forehead. The sudden touch made Doyoung freeze. Yuta’s hands were soft. He hated admitting that he was kind of flustered, while Yuta didn’t even seem to realize what he’d just done.

“So, from what I picked up your parents don’t really give a shit about Jeno, do they?” Yuta asked seriously, his hands still patting Doyoungs hair and face from time to time. Doyoung fought, with much struggle, an upcoming blush away. If he blushed in front of Yuta, he’d be d _ead._

“They don’t care about neither of us, but even less about Jeno since he isn’t an heir. They want me to take over. Jeno is pretty much useless to them, so if he…” Doyoung swallowed, and hated how tiny his voice sounded when he continued. “They wouldn’t care if he died. Sure, they’d have to go through the hassle of informing the kingdom and acting sad. Everyone out there loves him, more than they like me. He’s… easy to love.”

He felt a warm smile appear on his lips, and Yuta patted his head. “Jeno is seriously such an amazing person. The fact that he’s the one- that he’s like this…”

The ‘it should’ve been me’ was left unspoken. The words still somehow sounded loudly through the air, and Doyoung stood up.

“Thanks for trying, for Jeno,” he said as nonchalantly as possible. He tried to walk away, but Yuta had gotten a hold of Doyoungs hand and wasn’t letting go. Swallowing and mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to come, he turned back around.

He wasn’t prepared for Yuta looking up at him with sad, but earnest eyes. The sincerity in his voice almost made Doyoungs heart hurt, and his words only made it worse. “Doyoung? It’s not your fault. This isn’t something you’d ever be able to fix.”

Doyoung swallowed away his feelings and smiled thinly at Yuta, gently pulled his hand free and walked away. The words that followed made him stop in his tracks.

“Two weeks. I promise. I- I don’t know what it’d do to me, since it’s pretty severe, but… I promise. In two weeks it’ll be done.”

Doyoungs heart hurt. For real now.

“Thank you.”

He wasn’t sure if his heart hurt because he was happy Jeno would be better, or sad Yuta would be gone again. Yuta had said it could possibly be bad for himself. It’d take a toll on him and his abilities.

Maybe… more than two weeks wouldn’t hurt.


	4. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: i made everything up by myself. this is an alternate universe. i have no idea how magic is supposed to work. also not proofread at all. (read: written in one go in 2.5 hours)  
> hope you like it anyway.
> 
> leave something tell me what you think also my twitter is @nakamotoyutos (im dumb af with technology please someone teach me how to put links in this)

The next day, Doyoung only shortly went into Jeno’s room to check up on him. There was again a puppy in his bed, closer to his head this time, but now that Doyoung knew the reason for it he didn’t feel as bothered by it as before. After two minutes at most, Yuta whisked him away, again out of the castle.

Doyoung thought to himself if they didn’t need guards, but as much as he disliked Yuta, he didn’t want to offend the other again with his limited knowledge on witches. Maybe Yuta could fight. Maybe he made them invisible. Who knew?

That didn’t mean he wasn’t still extremely worried for their safety. He knew enough about how the world worked, and he was still the heir. He didn’t mean to sound conceited, but he was worth a lot of money. If his guards knew he was out here, all alone with just a random witch, they’d all freak out. Probably. If they weren’t too busy looking after his parents, who felt very deserving of protection.

Doyoung inwardly scoffed and followed Yuta. There were no guards here now. He’d just have to trust Yuta, that he’d be able to defend the both of them were anything bad to cross their path.

When they reached the edge of the forest, Yuta took a step away, and it wasn’t until then that Doyoung noticed he’d been holding Doyoungs wrist to pull him along. Yuta wringed his hands together and took one more step away. Doyoung had to keep in a laugh. For why was Yuta suddenly being shy? After how he’d acted around Doyoung before?

Lost in thoughts, he had to walk a bit faster to catch up with Yuta. When he’d caught up, he easily fell in stride with the other. After a few minutes of walking silently, Doyoung grew impatient. Yuta had been so eager to chat his ears off the days before, and now he was suddenly being quiet?

“So,” he said, aware of how awkward it sounded. “When will I get to see you actually do any magic?”

Yuta shot him a sideway glance and smiled, but didn’t keep his eyes on Doyoung for longer than a few seconds. “Today, actually. I’ll need to prepare some ingredients outside. It’s too dangerous to do it inside. One thing goes wrong and boom, the whole room is ash.”

Doyoung gaped at Yuta, almost missing  a step and stumbling. He stuttered a bit, baffled by Yuta’s easy response. “You’re planning to give Jeno something that could possibly turn a whole room to _dust?_ ”

Yuta rolled his eyes, not sparing Doyoung a glance again. “No, idiot. It’s an _ingredient_.”

“So it is in there!” Doyoung said accusingly. Yuta shrugged.

“That’s actually not the worst ingredient,” he said airily. “I said it was severe, didn’t I?”

“Right,” Doyoung mumbled. He had. Automatically, Doyoungs thoughts went back to the night before. Yuta had promised he’d be done in two weeks. He had told Doyoung it was a difficult illness to cure. He had implied it would possibly also take a toll on himself.

“What is it exactly?” Doyoung then asked, realizing Yuta had never specified what kind of illness it was Jeno suffered from. He had only said it was bad.

Yuta looked unsure, and he shrugged again. “I.. I don’t think it’s anything regular humans would know of. It’s rare, that’s for sure. I’m not sure yet what caused it, but it’s not something that’s curable with your human medicine.”

“That would explain why all the other doctors earlier failed,” Doyoung muttered, mostly to himself, but it was loud enough for Yuta to hear as well. “They all said they could do it, pulled out expensive fancy medicine. None of them actually changed anything.”

“If anything, they made it worse,” Yuta added, “human medicine isn’t all that good, really. If… if it’s really what Nana said it is, it would only make his situation worse, as it would only treat the human aspects and ignore- well, everything else going on.”

“Don’t be so vague,” Doyoung said, faking a laugh.

Was it his fault Jeno was like this now? He had been in charge of finding adequate doctors for him, after all, and he had clearly failed. Even Yuta said it, and he had only been at the castle for a few days. He felt incredibly guilty for never thinking of other options before.

“Don’t even think about it,” Yuta said, looking sideways to Doyoung now. “Didn’t you barely know of the existence of witches? You would’ve never trusted a so-called witch with Jeno if I hadn’t just showed up on my own accord. It’s not your fault. If anything, it’s those doctor’s faults. They should’ve seen something.”

Since when was Yuta able to read his mind like that? Hadn’t it only been mere days? Four days ago, Doyoung was hopeless and terrified for the fate of his little brother. Three days ago, he’d been ready to either send his guards after the witch or wring his neck himself. Whichever would bring more satisfaction. Two days ago, he was still annoyed, but had been given a glimpse of a possible positive outcome. A last chance. One day ago, he’d been touched by Yuta’s dedication to the whole situation.

Even if it could possibly hurt him, Yuta was ready to risk his health to save Jeno. Ready to leave his oh so important familiar at an unfamiliar castle and trek into the woods with a random crown prince, not even once explicitly asking for a reward if he were to succeed.

Two weeks. Two weeks was the amount of time Yuta said he needed to completely cure Jeno. Fourteen more days in the presence of the self-sacrificial, annoying, prideful but so pleasant witch. Doyoung disliked Yuta, still. He was sure of it.

He just wasn’t so sure if he disliked him because of how infuriating he was or because of how amazing of a person he appeared to be anymore. Yuta was an enigma, and in only four days time Doyoung had already seen so many sides of him. he was convinced there was so much more about the man than met the eye, and he couldn’t deny he was curious to find out.

Two weeks sounded like a long time when it came to being around someone like Yuta, but the last four days had flown by like it were only hours, and Doyoung wasn’t all too happy about admitting that he hoped those two weeks wouldn’t go by as fast.

He wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to Yuta yet.

Doyoung knew that when Jeno was cured, Yuta would go on his way again. He would go back into the wide world, go god knows where. Wherever he wanted, Doyoung assumed. Though maybe he had a family. He didn’t know. He knew nothing about Yuta, only that he was a witch and that the little white puppy on Jeno’s pillow was of extreme importance to his existence.

He wanted to learn more about Yuta, but it’d be risky. He couldn’t let himself get attached. As soon as Jeno was healed, he’d probably have to become king as soon as possible. Maybe even the day after. He wouldn’t put it past his parents to do that to him. He had been preparing for a long time after all. It was his duty, his fate. Unchangeable. Yuta was swift, changeable. He could go wherever he wanted. He could leave Doyoung behind. Doyoung couldn’t.

But, what was he thinking about. Yuta probably had a family somewhere. He seemed to be around the same age as Doyoung, and he knew of many men his age who were either in a relationship or getting married soon. It seemed his age was the standard for men to start looking for serious relationships. He’d never have to go through that.

The whole ordeal of having to court and live with someone else in a relationship didn’t sound very appealing to him. Maybe because he hadn’t met the right person. Maybe because he’d never had a relationship of that nature. Maybe because he would never truly experience that. It was best he didn’t know what it was like. He wouldn’t know what he was missing. It would definitely make life easier.

“Are you even paying attention?” Yuta’s voice droned, shaking him from his thoughts. No, he hadn’t been paying attention, and Doyoung knew Yuta knew.

“No,” Doyoung replied easily, “why?”.

Yuta sighed. “You’re unbelievable. First you whine about how you want to see my magic, and then I’m doing it and you’re not even looking. What is it that you want?”

Doyoung huffed. “First of all, I didn’t _whine._ You know I want to see it, so don’t be difficult.”

Yuta crossed his arms, pulling up one eyebrow with a challenging look. “I’m being difficult? Sure, Doyoung. What were you even doing? You were just staring at a tree. I was already surprised you stopped walking when I stopped.”

Doyoung turned to the side, glaring at Yuta from over his shoulder. “Just thinking about something. Now, shoo, go do your magic.”

Yuta didn’t move a muscle.

“You know, I’m really tempted to just go back to the castle right now,” he said, a light smirk on his lips. It was like he knew it would annoy Doyoung, like he did it on purpose to get a rise out of him. He probably did. To both.

Doyoung didn’t move either. Yuta was stubborn? Great. So was Doyoung. He could win this.

Except he didn’t. They both didn’t. Doyoung mentally cursed his short attention span and bad patience as he sighed and dropped his arms, turning back around to fully face Yuta. Yuta looked smug, but Doyoung had a feeling he also didn’t have much more patience to keep at it.

“I won,” Yuta said teasingly, and Doyoung regretted giving up first if Yuta was going to boast like this at everything he succeeded at.

“Great, congratulations,” Doyoung snapped, immediately regretting his tone. He hoped Yuta wasn’t too offended. He still really wanted to see Yuta’s magic.

After another minute of smiling smugly at Doyoung and walking around the small clearing they’d stopped at with a puffed chest, Yuta seemed to be done and sat down in the grass next to where Doyoung was standing.

“I’ll do some magic to make fire,” Yuta said, tone back to normal. Doyoung was glad the annoying gloating was over. He pushed away the inner Doyoung that told him he probably would’ve acted the same, had he been in Yuta’s shoes.

“Fire?” Doyoung questioned a bit dumbly.

“Yes, fire,” Yuta snorted. “You know what it is? With the sparks, and heat, and flames. It’s very hot, so don’t touch it, alright?” he added in a teasing tone, and Doyoung only rolled his eyes. _Yuta knew what he meant with that question. He was just being obnoxious._

“I’m good enough at making fire without magic,” Yuta then continued, “but it’s more fun with magic. Requires a lot less work and gives the same result.” Then a teasing grin reappeared on his face, and Doyoung already dreaded the words that were about to come.

“Anything for our precious little crown prince, right? Since he wants to see magic tricks so badly.”

Doyoung held back an insult and a swear word, instead opting for saying; “You mean it’s just a lazy way out for you.”

Doyoung was only slightly disappointed in how Yuta easily shrugged, still smiling. “It is! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t cheat on something as simple and annoying as making a fire.”

It was Doyoungs time to shrug. Yuta was right, but he didn’t have to know that. He wanted to have at least something to be able to hold over Yuta’s head, even though the other didn’t seem to mind the accusation very much, even almost proudly admitting to it.

Damn it.

Yuta gathered some small dried branches from the forest floor around him and gathered it into a pile, laying a flat plate he pulled out of the duffel bag Doyoung hadn’t noticed before on top. Then he simply threw some powder onto the branches and snipped his fingers, and slowly a fire started to trickle its way through the pile, heating the plate.

“Now, stay back,” Yuta said, pushing lightly at Doyoungs knee. “I suggest you go sit a bit further away. This could be dangerous, and I can handle it, but you’re not used to the energy. So, move.”

Doyoung wondered, not for the first time, why he let Yuta order him around like that, but he didn’t question the order and walked back to the edge of the clearing. He tried to peer around Yuta, but the other was crouching over the plate, his hands busy with some herbs he also took out of the duffel bag.

Doyoung couldn’t see much, but he saw how carefully Yuta handled one of the herbs, a seemingly innocent plant with tiny white flowers. First, Yuta, just as carefully, took the flowers off the stem and ground them roughly between his fingers. He spread the dust and pollen that came from the flowers evenly over the plate, and took out a small knife.

At that point, Doyoung got bored and sat down. He’d see soon enough when the real magic would come, right? He’d seen the fire. That was nice. Certainly not something Doyoung was able to do. But, Doyoung had the feeling Yuta was quite powerful with the confident way he carried himself and seemed to have no worries about possible attackers. He knew the fire was like child’s play for Yuta. Doyoung wanted to see _real_ magic.

After a few more minutes of watching Yuta grind herbs and stems into one big pile and mix it with the flowers, things got more interesting. Doyoung saw Yuta take out two vials, one with a clear liquid and the other with a dark green liquid so thick it almost seemed solid. He also took out a small cup, in which he poured some of the green liquid with the mixture of stems and flowers. The stems he had earlier handled with so much care were still intact, and Yuta very slowly dipped them into the vial with the clear liquid. Steam oozed from the stems when he took them back out, and that’s when the long awaited, ‘real’ magic happened.

It probably didn’t look all that impressive for someone sitting further away than Doyoung, but he hadn’t moved all that far and could clearly see the way Yuta’s lips moved in near silent, murmured chants. _A spell._

Had anyone told Doyoung of what was happening, he wouldn’t have believed them. The whole air around Yuta looked different. It wasn’t smoke, that was for sure. It didn’t suddenly solidify either. The only words Doyoung could think of to explain it was a wavering aura, watery colors dancing through the thin air, wisps of smoke so thin it was almost invisible swirling around Yuta.

Now Doyoung understood why Yuta said he should move away because he wasn’t used to the energy. Even sitting a few meters away, Doyoung felt it. It was indescribable as someone who had never felt it before, but the air felt heavy. Pressured, but thin at the same time. It was nothing like Doyoung had ever felt before.

After a few minutes of the movement getting more and more intense, Yuta suddenly stood up. All at once, the air was still again. Yuta picked up the plate like it was nothing, like it hadn’t been on a fire for minutes. Doyoung assumed it didn’t burn Yuta’s skin. Maybe because it wasn’t regular fire, maybe because Yuta as a witch could withstand the temperature. Doyoung didn’t know.

Yuta smiled at him like nothing had happened, but the vial he held up, filled with a greyish liquid, told otherwise. “You ready to go back?” he said loudly in a cheerful voice, no trace of exertion visible.

“Whenever you are,” Doyoung yelled back, standing up and dusting off his pants.

***

Back at the castle, the first thing Doyoung did was run up the many stairs to check up on Jeno, and he immediately noticed something was different.

No, Jeno didn’t look better. Physically, it didn’t look like anything had changed at all. However, Doyoung could swear his position slightly changed, and he turned to now human Jaemin with the question loud and clear in his eyes.

The smile Jaemin sent his way instantly had a soothing effect on Doyoung, and he assumed it was because of those familiar abilities Yuta had spoken of. “Jeno was awake for a bit this morning,” he said cheerfully, “and he was doing fairly well! It was only for a few minutes, though, so I can’t tell you much, but he was very cute.”

Doyoung felt his body stiffen in less than a millisecond. Even a sweet smile from Jaemin couldn’t calm him down enough. “He was awake?”

“Yes,” Jaemin said, cutely nodding, “for maybe twenty minutes, about an hour after you left. But he asked for you, first thing when he opened his eyes.” Doyoung smiled bitterly. Sweet Jeno had asked for him, had been awake and coherent and well enough to speak. Just when Doyoung wasn’t there.

“Don’t worry,” Jaemin said, smile never leaving his face, “I explained to him who I was and where you were, and he was happy. Said he didn’t doubt you, and that it was very you to somehow find a solution. And then I talked with him, but he seemed a bit flustered so I told him to just go back to sleep, and he did.”

Jeno. Flustered. Doyoung bet he thought Jaemin was ‘the prettiest boy he’d ever seen’. Doyoung grinned. “When exactly was he flustered?”

Jaemin looked a bit confused, but indulged Doyoung. “His face went all red when I told him I’m his caretaker, and he stuttered a lot. Does he always do that?”

Doyoung chuckled. “With people like you, yes. He’s a bit shy.”

Jaemin tilted his head, but didn’t question it further and in less than a second the wide, endearing smile was back on his face again. Doyoung could see why Jeno would get flustered. Even Doyoung could, despite their age difference, see that Jaemin was very good-looking, and his smile dangerously charming.

The edges of Doyoungs smile turned sad when he looked at Jeno, back to lying unmoving in the bed, face as white as the sheets. He used to play outside all the time as a kid, and was usually tanned. No matter how often Doyoung came here, seeing his little brother in this state still hurt.

“Could you leave us alone for a minute?” Doyoung asked Jaemin, sending a reassuring smile his way. Jaemin didn’t ask questions and nodded. On his way past Doyoung, he patted his shoulder in a comforting manner.

“Cheer up, hyung,” the younger said, his eyes telling he understood Doyoungs feelings in the situation. Doyoung wasn’t sure if he wanted to know at how many sickbeds Jaemin had stood, despite barely being of age to be considered an adult. Too many, probably. Jaemin understood.

“I wouldn’t worry too much,” Jaemin added in a soft tone, “I promise with my life that Yuta is both trustworthy and very capable. If anyone can heal Jeno, it’s him.”

Strangely enough, Doyoung believed him. Yuta could do it. He’d seen with his own eyes how the air had changed, had felt the energy with his own body despite not harboring or understanding the works of magic. Yuta was going to heal Jeno.

Doyoung sat down in a chair next to the bed and reached out, taking Jenos hand in his. For some time, he just sat there, only letting his eyes travel over his baby brothers features. Letting his skin feel the coldness of Jenos skin. It always made him discouraged and fearful to see how unlike _his_ Jeno this ill boy looked.

Somehow, this time it was different. “We’re going to make it,” he whispered to Jeno, a genuine smile gracing his lips, and somehow, for the first time, that didn’t feel like a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the word count as of now is 12123 and you have no idea how fucking satisfying that is


	5. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ,,,, and then i wrote another 3.2k in 2 days (hours)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credits for this chapter go to isi she gave me the great idea of making doyoung suffer by making him slip in the rain and yuta not magic-ing him clean and then everything else happened  
> [SPOILER] sorry for making him cry btw

From the second Doyoung opened his eyes, he knew this day would be a lot less fun than the day before. The sound of rain pattering against his window was loud, and he wished he’d woken up a bit later. He hoped with all his heart Yuta wouldn’t drag him out today. He didn’t mind the cold, but getting wet was definitely not something he enjoyed.

Reluctantly, he got up and got dressed as slowly as possible. Plenty of people disliked rain, right? There was a big chance Yuta also didn’t like rain. Then they wouldn’t have to go outside and Doyoung would be able to go back to bed.

He deserved a break, anyway. In the last three days, he’d been out more than he usually did in a whole week. Scratch that, two weeks. Doyoung liked nature, sure, it was pretty. As a kid he was always outside. Now, though… he very much liked staying inside, safe and warm and secure in his own or Jeno’s room with no one around to bother him.

It did get lonely sometimes, if he had to be honest. The only people around the castle to speak to were teachers or servants. All the teachers were older than him, and the servants were forced to be polite to him and treat him as if he were the king himself. He wasn’t so far off from becoming king, but he disliked it. He didn’t have anyone around his age to be friendly with, now that Jeno was in this state. Jeno was really the only person he had.

Now, he had Yuta, but he couldn’t let the other get too close. He was around Doyoung’s age, yes, but he would be gone in two weeks. Maybe even sooner. Doyoung didn’t like being all alone all the time, but he’d dread it even more if he knew he used to have someone to talk to.

Missing something was easier if he didn’t know what it felt like.

Slowly, he went down the set of stairs, stalling as much as possible. The last three mornings, Yuta had already been down before Doyoung. He assumed Yuta was an early riser. Another thing they didn’t have in common. Doyoung liked going to bed late and sleeping in.

Indeed, as he’d feared, Yuta was already in the dining hall, eating when he entered the room. Jaemin wasn’t there.

“Is Jaemin already with Jeno?” Doyoung asked, hiding a smile at the way Yuta startled.

“No,” he answered when he’d recovered, “he’s still asleep. He’s lazier than he likes to appear.”

“I thought dogs all had too much energy?” Doyoung asked, suppressing a shiver. If he hadn’t known the small white dog was also a person, he would’ve liked their… arrangements a lot less. He really wasn’t too fond of animals, especially dogs. Down in the village, there was this farmer with a dog who always jumped on Doyoung when he passed his premises when he was younger. It had never bitten Doyoung, the thing being too friendly to harm someone, but Doyoung had seen those teeth and felt the strength of the animal. Animals were unpredictable, and he didn’t trust them. He didn’t like not knowing what to expect.

In a way, Yuta was also a bit like an animal in that sense. He was unpredictable, and Doyoung had no idea what to expect of him or what he could do. Of course that was partly because they’d only known each other for a few days, but with the way Yuta teased him and talked to him, Doyoung got the idea that Yuta had him all figured out already. It didn’t help that he was able to sense auras with Jaemins help. Doyoung wasn’t so sure if he wanted to know how much the familiar had poked into his soul already.

“Ready to go out?” Yuta then said. Doyoung felt… well, like all his hopes and dreams were shattered. Go out? Again? In this weather?

“Please don’t make me go out again,” he groaned, not even embarrassed at the desperation sounding through his voice. “I’ve gone out every day already, I need a _break._ ”

Yuta pulled up one eyebrow, a movement he’d been repeating a bit too often to Doyoung’s tastes. “It’s been literally three days. What, can’t take a bit of rain?”

Doyoung narrowed his eyes. Was Yuta trying to pick a fight again? He really couldn’t lose this time. He’d allowed himself to give in the day before, but he couldn’t damage his pride even further. Not so soon. “Who says I can’t?”

“I didn’t,” Yuta said, shrugging. That movement was also coming back a bit too often. Doyoung was now even more determined to prove him wrong. “I just asked you. Didn’t your parents teach you it’s rude to not answer questions when people ask you them?”

Doyoung scoffed. “Low blow, that one. My parents didn’t teach me shit.”

Yuta had the decency to look ashamed. “Yeah, sorry. Shouldn’t have used that one.”

He didn’t give Doyoung the time to be surprised at his genuine sounding apology. There was no need for him to apologize. Doyoung didn’t care about his parents. What they did couldn’t bother him in the slightest. Yuta had apologized anyway. Doyoung felt… touched.

“So, answer my question?”

“I don’t like the rain,” Doyoung grumbled. He didn’t like admitting his weaknesses, not to anyone. Especially not to Yuta. Who knew in what way the other would use it against him? Was not liking rain a weakness?

Yuta laughed. “That’s not a good reason, I still don’t have everything. Won’t be able to get it all today, either. Did you forget I have a time limit? I promised two weeks, and it’s two weeks you’re getting. I’ll need to hurry up if I want to gather all ingredients before next week. I’ll need time to prepare the cure, and then myself to perform the magic for it.”

Doyoung looked to the side. He hadn’t forgotten. Two weeks… Then he remembered something else Yuta had said.

“Didn’t you say you can also perform the cure in small parts? Not everything in one go?”

Yuta thought about it for a few seconds. Then, he slowly nodded. “Technically, I can. It’s more risky for me, though. But then I will be done sooner. And it won’t get you out of going out today.”

All Doyoung heard was _done sooner._ If Yuta was done sooner, that meant Jeno would be healed sooner. He nodded vigorously. Yuta’s other words dawned in on him, then. It would be more risky for Yuta… would he be okay?

“That eager to get rid of me?” Yuta asked with a laugh, but it sounded fake. A bit forced, maybe. Everything inside Doyoung screamed at him to deny it, but he was sure Yuta would see it as something to hold against him. He didn’t want to just give Yuta that power over him when he already had so much.

He didn’t mean to say that either. Think.

“I just want Jeno healed as soon as possible,” he opted for saying. The safe option. “Would you be okay?”

“Maybe,” Yuta answered, “I’ll need rest periods, for sure, but it’s not like it’ll kill me. Though I’m not sure if it can. I never tried.”

Doyoung easily nodded. “You can take rest days, for sure. How about we start with today?”

Yuta laughed, and Doyoung forcefully ignored the way he shivered at the sound. Yuta had a nice laugh when he wasn’t acting all smug and annoying, and it might just have a little bit of effect on Doyoung. Not that he’d ever admit that to Yuta. Any of it.

“You’re not getting out of it that easily,” Yuta said, sighing softly, an amused tilt to his lips. Doyoung wanted to-

Nothing. Doyoung wanted absolutely nothing to do with Yuta and his cute smile and annoying face. Nothing at _all._

“We’ll need more ingredients, even if I start the cure today or tomorrow. You think you can brave the rain and accompany me outside?”

Doyoung didn’t like that. That word _, accompany_. It suggested that Doyoung would be going out with Yuta willingly, and that wasn’t the case. He was just Yuta’s assistant. Only for Jeno, nothing more and nothing less.

Still he nodded, not willing to give Yuta the satisfaction of winning again. And, in the end, he really didn’t mind Yuta’s company that much. Just, that _rain…_

 

As soon as they stepped outside, Yuta shivered and ducked deeper into his coat. Doyoung scoffed internally and hid a laugh. That filthy liar. He was _glaring_ at the rain, and if looks could kill, the sun would be shining bright and clear now. Doyoung was positive Yuta disliked the rain even more than Doyoung.

“What, can’t handle a bit of rain?” he said teasingly, and Yuta’s glare turned on Doyoung. He again hid the shiver than hurried down his spine. Yuta had beautiful big eyes, but he looked terrifying when they were sharp and narrowed like this. He didn’t look actually mad, though. Just annoyed. Doyoung was sure it was because it wasn’t him who had done the teasing, this time.

He grumbled out something unintelligible, glare softening into something Doyoung preferred to leave unidentified. Doyoung took the lead, walking into the forest ahead of a still grumbling Yuta. Even if it was only to not have to look at the pout that now graced his lips.

A few hours later, their roles were, unsurprisingly, reversed. It had stopped raining maybe an hour after they left, but their clothes were soaked and sticked to their bodies. Doyoung was having a hard time keeping his eyes off Yuta, and he didn’t like it. When did the other start being so distracting? He refused to acknowledge these newfound emotions, and huffed every few minutes to complain about how cold he was and how slippery the forest floor had become.

His complaints had been heard by god, and god had punished him for it. Just when his clothes started to dry again, the rain came back full force and immediately soaked him again. Cursing, he walked after Yuta, in his hands a basket with herbs and plants Yuta had already picked up. Yuta was sat on his knees, arms deep in some bush Doyoung couldn’t care less about, the other ignoring Doyoung’s angry mumbling.

Finally, Yuta stood up with a grin. “Let’s head back, shall we?”

Doyoung groaned in relief. Fucking _finally._ He was done with standing around in wet clothes two hours ago, and the rain that was back and all but pouring onto him really wasn’t making him feel better.

Carefully looking where he placed his feet, they went back in the direction of the castle. The ground was scattered with fallen leaves, and the water had made the ground muddy and the leaves slippery. He really didn’t want to fall and make himself even dirtier than he already was.

It went well, for a while. Then, at a particularly slippery part on the narrow path, the unthinkable happened.

Doyoung felt his feet glide, and before he knew it, he was on his back, on the dirty forest ground. He felt the mud seep into his robes, even though they were soaked already, and he cursed loudly. His hair was caked with mud, and twigs pricked the back of his head. He wouldn’t be surprised if some were stuck in his knotted, wet hair.

Defeated, he sighed and just lied back for a few seconds, hoping Yuta wouldn’t notice and just leave him there to disintegrate. But, of course, fate never worked in his favor, and after mere seconds he heard Yuta’s voice mumble out a ‘huh?’. He held his breath and closed his eyes as it was quiet for half a second, before Yuta burst out in loud, unbridled laughter. This was it, this was the moment he’d die. He spread his arms, awaiting for a reaper to come and get his body.

However, the person who grabbed his arm and hauled him up on his feet wasn’t a reaper, but a still heartily laughing Yuta.

“You were- just lying there- _god,_ ” Yuta choked out, still laughing, clapping his hands together, his eyes closed. Doyoung groaned in annoyance.

“I’m sure you have some magic thing to clean me up,” Doyoung snarled, “do it. Right now. I’m done here.”

Yuta forced himself to stop laughing, and Doyoung crossed his arms, glaring at Yuta. “No, I don’t, sorry,” he said, a chuckle bursting free. He looked like he was having way too much fun with this. Doyoung glared a bit harder.

“Or well, I do, but I won’t,” Yuta said, breathing heavily. Doyoung sighed. He knew it. That- that _asshole_ just wanted to see him suffer. And he was enjoying it. “Come on,” Yuta said, smiling mercifully, “we’re almost at the castle. I’ll give you some soothing herbs to put in your bath.”

Doyoung, not for the first time that day, ignored the way his heart picked up in speed at Yuta’s sweet words and glared even harder. “Fine,” he bit out, “but you owe me. I’m not letting this go, you brat.”

“I’m older than you,” Yuta remarked over his shoulder. “Hurry up!”

Doyoung bit back another sling of curse words and stomped after Yuta, not even bothering to walk carefully anymore. He just wanted to take a bath, see Jeno and go to bed.

It took another twenty minutes to get back to the castle, and Doyoung didn’t think it was possible for him to be any more soaked than he was. He didn’t think he’d ever been out in the rain as long as today, and he wasn’t happy about it. At least Jeno’s healing process would start tomorrow. Or, at least soon. Doyoung couldn’t wait to see his little brother smiling and up on his feet again.

He accepted the handful of herbs Yuta gave him without another word and asked a servant to draw them both a bath. Another twenty minutes later, he was stretched out in a hot bath, the herbs Yuta had given him giving off a sweet smell, soothing his cold and stiff limbs. For the first time that day, he let his body completely relax.

Being around Yuta was stressful. It had been five days. Five. That was a very short time, way shorter than Doyoung would usually need to get as comfortable around someone as he already was around Yuta. It was shocking, and the weight of his feelings scared him.

He didn’t want to think about them, scared of what he might possibly conclude from them. It was too soon to be feeling in _any_ way about Yuta. Doyoung was a closed off person towards strangers, and Yuta was technically still a stranger. Five days was barely enough to get to know a person.

Yet, Doyoung already felt like he’d known Yuta for years. Maybe because in those five days, they’d spent four of them with just the two of them, away from Doyoung’s safe place inside the castle. Doyoung was forced to trust and depend on Yuta, even if he didn’t like it. Yuta had both Jeno’s life and Doyoung’s safety in his hands, and strangely enough Doyoung trusted him with it.

He didn’t leave the bath until the water started turning cold. Going up to Jenos room, he found Yuta already there in soft bathrobes much like his own, talking to someone.

With a startle, Doyoung realized it was Jeno he was talking to, and he hurried forward to see if Jeno was awake, not even paying attention to whatever it was Yuta was saying. Jeno was indeed awake, Jaemin sitting in the corner of the room in his dog form.

Jeno looked absolutely exhausted, but the way his expression slightly brightened as he saw Doyoung was so comforting he nearly burst into tears. He smiled widely at the boy instead, sat down next to his bed and took his cold hands into his own. “You’re awake,” he concluded, voice wobbly. Jeno smiled. It was a small smile, almost invisible due to the shakiness of his lips, but Doyoung knew Jeno in and out, every inch of him. He saw it, and felt a singular tear run down his cheek.

“You’ve met Yuta, I see,” he continued, now acknowledging the other’s presence beside him, and Jeno nodded in confirmation.

“He said- he’ll heal me?” Jeno said, voice so soft it was almost inaudible, but he looked happy and Doyoung had to hold back another tear. He nodded to Jeno, and the shaky smile appeared once again.

“I knew you could do it,” he said, eyes falling closed again. He opened them one more time, whispered out a tiny “I love you” to Doyoung and then slowly fell into his usual deep sleep again. Doyoung gripped Jeno’s hands tighter, and felt more tears roll down his face. Jeno’s hands went slack in his, and Doyoung let out a small sob.

“No, not yet,” he begged, hating how choked up his voice sounded. He felt a hand on his shoulder and buried his face into Jeno’s blankets, remembering Yuta was in the room as he silently sobbed. He hadn’t wanted to show Yuta his weaknesses, but here he was, crying like a baby just because his ill little brother had fallen back to sleep.

Doyoung could only hope he’d wake up again.

The hand on his shoulder turned more firm as he felt the bed dip, Jaemin having retaken his place beside Jeno again. Yuta, from behind, tugged him around.

As warm arms enclosed around his shoulders and tightly pulled him into a warm chest, Doyoung’s walls broke down, and he sobbed into Yuta’s fuzzy bathrobe. He pushed away all worries at what Yuta might think about him, and let his emotions and regret take over.

If only he hadn’t stayed in the bath as long as he had, he would’ve been by Jeno’s side quicker, would’ve been able to speak to him longer. Jeno believed in him. His “ _I knew you could do it_ ” repeated itself over and over again in Doyoung’s head, and he repeated it like a mantra. “He knew I could do it,” he muttered when he felt calm enough to speak, only now registering the fingers going through his damp hair.

“And you did it,” Yuta said from above his head, tone as soft as he felt. Doyoung sniffed and pulled away, ignoring the way his body felt cold as Yuta’s arms slipped off his shoulders.

“Promise me you’ll heal him?” Doyoung said, softly stroking Jeno’s hands. He couldn’t look Yuta in the eye, not when he’d held Doyoung like that when he was in a vulnerable state. He hadn’t taken advantage of him. Hadn’t teased Doyoung, or laughed at him. He’d simply held him, and Doyoung didn’t know how to act to Yuta.

The now familiar warm hand squeezed his shoulder once more, quickly, before it left again. Doyoung felt strangely comforted.

“I’ll start tomorrow.”


	6. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> purple dancers

The next morning Doyoung was woken by a fumbling and buzzing Jaemin. The boy, usually already energetic, looked to be bouncing on the spot. Doyoung wasn’t sure what time it was but what he did know was that it was way too early for Jaemin to be this happy.

Rubbing his eyes, he sat up and repressed a yawn, instead looking Jaemin in the eye. “What’s up?” he asked, voice still thick with sleep. Jaemin giggled and sat down on the edge of Doyoung’s bed. Doyoung was sure that if the boy had a tail in human form, it would be wagging right now. He didn’t even point out that he hadn’t given Jaemin permission to come into his room, let alone sit on his bed. He didn’t really care and figured anyone other than the servants wouldn’t either.

“Hyung told me not to go to you until next morning, but it’s morning now so here I am,” he said, voice hushed. It was very obvious he was struggling to keep his voice down, and frankly, it was adorable. Jaemin really was like a puppy, even in his human form.

“You mean Yuta? Why did he tell you not to go to me?” Doyoung asked, feeling a bit more awake now.

Jaemin hummed, quickly looking at the decorations in Doyoung’s room before focusing his attention back on Doyoung. “Well, he thought you’d want time to yourself and that it’d be better if I left you alone for a while. But it’s the next day already, so I figured it’d be okay now?”

Doyoung couldn’t help but smile at that. Jaemin still looked so excited, and he had to hold himself back to not pet his head. “That’s… nice, of him,” he mumbled in response.

It really was nice of Yuta to be so considerate of him after his emotional scene the night before. He was being… more than civil, and it confused Doyoung. Yuta was supposed to be annoying, and stubborn and invasive. But right now… he’d given Doyoung the space he’d needed without even asking for it, had told Jaemin to give him that space as well. Doyoung shivered at the memory of Yuta’s arms around his shoulders.

“Hyung is great, right?” Jaemin asked, already nodding before Doyoung could answer. “I wanted to tell you about Jeno, but he said it might make you sad and that it’d be better to let you sleep before.”

That caught Doyoung’s attention. “You wanted to talk to me about Jeno? What about him?”

A light blush formed on Jaemin’s cheeks and he slightly shrunk into himself, seemingly flustered at Doyoung’s direct question.

“I was the first he saw when he woke up, and we talked for a few minutes before hyung showed up,” Jaemin started telling, and Doyoung got settled in a more comfortable position against the headboard of his bed.

“What did he say?” he asked and smiled at the way Jaemin’s cheeks darkened a bit further.

 “He didn’t seem to remember me at first,” Jaemin said, “but he’d seen me before, for maybe three minutes when you and hyung were out. Then he remembered and smiled! Sir, has he always had such a pretty smile?”

Doyoung’s smile grew wider, and Jaemin flushed even further. So that’s what was going on here. “He has, he’s pretty isn’t he?” Doyoung asked teasingly, and Jaemin nodded shyly. “And you don’t have to call me that.”

“Hyung, then?” Jaemin asked hopefully, and when Doyoung nodded he brightened up even further, is that was even possible. “Hyung, Jeno _really_ has a pretty smile! And when he woke up and remembered who I was, I got so flustered! Luckily hyung showed up soon after. It’s a pity you arrived so late, he asked for you.”

At that, Doyoung winced. He’d arrived too late, he knew. He’d been too relaxed, too absorbed in taking time with his bath. Maybe if he hadn’t been so selfish, he’d been able to see Jeno earlier. He would’ve been able to tell him about what he’d seen of Yuta’s magic, would’ve been able to properly ask him how he was feeling, maybe what he thought of Jaemin. But he was too late. Too selfish.

Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Jaemin seemed to pick up on the sudden gloominess and scooted forward and laid a comforting hand on Doyoung’s knee. When Doyoung looked up, he had a sweet smile on his face.  “Your aura suddenly got really dark blue, but don’t worry about it. He was happy to see you, even if it was only for a minute. I could feel it. Yuta-hyung told him all about the treatment and how you two had been going out, so don’t worry about that either. It’s good to take some time for yourself to relax sometimes, as well.”

Doyoung sighed and buried his face in his knees. “I just wish… I just wanted to know how _he_ was doing.” It wasn’t all, but at least a big part of it. He felt like Jaemin already knew the rest, anyway.

“That’s simple, I could just tell you, right? I read him every few hours!” Jaemin said, still sounding cheerful. Doyoung wished he could be that… unworried, and… _free._

“Then… how is he?” Doyoung asked, setting his thoughts aside. Jaemin’s smile dropped as he got more flustered, but only barely. Doyoung knew nothing about auras or reading people, but he could see Jaemin was very fond of Jeno. Maybe it was because Jaemin read Jeno’s aura so often. Maybe it created some sort of bond. Doyoung made a mental note to ask Yuta about it later.

“He’s doing the same, kind of,” Jaemin said, avoiding Doyoung’s eyes. “No better and no worse than when we arrived.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

Jaemin looked Doyoung in the eye, but only for maybe half a second. He reminded Doyoung very much of a kicked puppy right now. Like he felt guilty.

“Not necessarily,” he then said, but he didn’t sound too sure of it. “It just… might be a good idea to wait a bit with the stronger parts of the cure. He’s… too weak to withstand that. I’ve seen what they do to someone, and I know his body wouldn’t be able to take all of it right now.”

Doyoung swallowed and nodded. He’d been dreading to hear that. “Did Yuta already tell you he’s going to do it in portions?”

Jaemin nodded and noticeably forced himself to stop fiddling. “I know that. We can start light, but not too much, really. I… I like Jeno a lot,” he said, voice hushed.

This time, Doyoung didn’t hold back and ruffled Jaemin’s hair. The boy visibly perked up at that. He still looked like a scared puppy, but this time Doyoung felt like it was for Jeno only, not about Doyoung anymore.

“Let’s go find Yuta and get to work, then,” he said, sending Jaemin a smile. The latter grinned and mumbled something about going to wake his hyung up, and stormed out of the room. Doyoung quickly got dressed and made his way to the dining room, grabbing a light breakfast only before going to Jeno’s room. There he found, as expected, Yuta and Jaemin, Jaemin already back in dog form.

Jeno was, sadly, fast asleep. When Doyoung entered, Yuta stood up and walked in his direction. “Take me to an empty room,” Yuta said in a friendly tone. “I have to brew something and it’s not safe to do it in here.”

Doyoung, despite knowing Jeno was too far gone to feel it, squeezed Jeno’s hand. Then he nodded and followed Yuta out of the room, sending a quick smile and wave to Jaemin before closing the door behind him.

“Follow me,” Doyoung said. The air felt strangely thick between him and the other man behind him, and he refused to look at Yuta. He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly feeling so awkward around the other now, but the air felt stiff. He didn’t know what to say, and Yuta staying quiet didn’t help much either.

Maybe it was because of the events of the night before. They’d been really close for the first time, after all, and Doyoung had been horribly vulnerable in front of the other after only a few days of knowing him. It felt uncomfortable, but the memory of Yuta’s arms around him was anything but. It confused Doyoung, and he was already getting kind of tired of constantly thinking about it.

A few minutes of stairs and hallways later, Doyoung swung open a big, heavy door, letting Yuta pass him to step into a big, old and currently unused throne room. He wasn’t planning on telling Yuta why he’d brought him here. He wasn’t too sure himself either. There were enough other empty rooms in the (too big for a handful of people) castle.

The room was, actually, one of Doyoung’s favorites. He used to hide out in the room a lot when his teachers were nagging him to continue his lessons, or when his parents were after him. It had kind of become Doyoung’s safe space. Nobody bothered to venture this deep into the castle, and not many people knew about the room. Other than that, the history of the room fascinated Doyoung. Who knew how many king and queens had walked here? How many had been crowned here, how many speeches had been held?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Yuta, who had walked to the center of the room and was now looking at Doyoung. “You alright?” he called out, and Doyoung realized he’d been staring into empty space for a while. He quickly nodded and made his way over to Yuta.

“I come here a lot,” Doyoung had blurted out before he knew it, and he knew by Yuta’s curious look that he was going to have to explain. He held back a sigh and leaned against a pillar a few steps away.

“Not many people know about this room. It isn’t cleaned often, and almost everyone would get lost trying to find their way back, since it’s so deep in the oldest part of the castle. It’s always quiet here, so I go here to be alone,” Doyoung explained, trying to sound calm and collected.

“Why are you showing me this, then?” Yuta asked, his voice soft. Doyoung looked away and shrugged.

“We’ll be left alone here,” he offered as explanation. He knew Yuta wouldn’t buy it as full answer, but if he was honest Doyoung himself wasn’t all too sure either. “And I figured, after last night, I could trust you,” Doyoung then tacked on quietly.

Yuta smiled. “Thank you, then,” he said, and turned around, crouching in the middle of the room. “Are you safe there?”

Doyoung smiled unknowingly. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry and do what you have to do.”

He sat down on the floor, back still against the pillar, and watched from a safe distance as Yuta set to work. The procedure seemed the same as a few days before, in the forest. The way Yuta let all his guards down to be completely relaxed and expose his magic to the room gave Doyoung the feeling that not anyone was allowed to watch magic happen, and he felt strangely blessed.

Not too long after the fire started, Doyoung saw the air start swirling around Yuta again, but this time it was slightly different. Maybe it was because Yuta was in a closed room, maybe it was because he made himself vulnerable in the open space, maybe because he was sitting closer by this time, Doyoung didn’t know. Anyway, the first time he’d mostly just seen the air swirl and move around Yuta, and he had assumed it was his aura.

This time, he clearly saw bright colors, changing and curling in the air. Was it really because he was sitting closer? Or.. was Yuta maybe _showing it_ to him this time? Allowing Doyoung to see his aura? The colors were so thick and bright it almost looked solid. Like Doyoung could touch it, and feel it on his skin, if he were to reach out. He was tempted to but held back. Who knew what kind of effect it would have on Yuta or the magic he was performing.

The bright red slowly turned into a mellow blue, and the air seemed to get thinner, until it came back twice as fast and twice as thick, transforming very quickly into a dark purple, wildly swirling mess. Doyoung was reminded of dancers with frivolous, wide and layered dresses. Bright yellow thin wisps of air intermingled with the dark purple, and they looked like gold strings through the soft fabric.

The dancers were spinning, faster and faster, circling Yuta like it was their only cause, the only thing they existed for. Doyoung couldn’t blame them.

It was an absolutely breathtaking sight, and now Doyoung understood why Yuta hadn’t shown him the deep purple dancers before. It was a kind of energy he had never felt before, a kind of beauty he had never thought he’d ever witness. Doyoung was captured in Yuta’s aura, and he didn’t mind it one bit.

What felt like hours later, the dancers slowed down, and the colors died down, until the air turned light and transparent again. Doyoung was almost sad at the beautiful sight disappearing, but then it dawned in on him that it meant Yuta was done.

And indeed, Yuta stood up a minute later with a colored liquid in another vial. It was dark purple, with tiny flecks of bright yellow.

 

They slowly made their way back to Jeno’s room, and Doyoung felt like once again the air had changed between them. Now, not only Yuta had seen Doyoung in a vulnerable state, but the other way around as well. It felt… Doyoung couldn’t describe it.

The air seemed to dance between them, their auras happy. Doyoung could almost picture light pink dancers, turning and floating slowly. It took him a lot of effort to not break out in a wide smile. The air felt light, relieved, but heavy at the same time.

Doyoung knew things between Yuta and him had changed considerably in the past 24 hours. They’d showed themselves in ways they hadn’t before.

It bewildered Doyoung how short they’d really been together in the castle. It hadn’t even been a week, but their situations had forced them to connect and forge a bond quickly. Doyoung provided for Yuta, and he in turn depended on the older. They had to have trust in each other, and Doyoung felt like they’d reached that point now. Also, they’d spent the last few days with together all day, only being apart at night. That sure had to do something.

Taking a deep breath, they entered Jeno’s room one more time. Jaemin noticed them after mere seconds and immediately popped back into human form. “I’ll wake him up,” he said, still as cheerful as he’d been that morning.

Doyoung wasn’t too sure how he did it, but Jaemin closed his eyes and placed two fingers on Jeno’s forehead. After a few seconds so quiet you could hear a pin drop in the room, Jeno’s eyes slowly fluttered open. The first thing he did was look at Jaemin.

The strong emotion in his eyes as he looked at the boy surprised Doyoung. He had noticed, of course, how fondly Jaemin spoke of Jeno, but he hadn’t expected it to be returned so bluntly. Then, he smiled. Of course Jeno would love Jaemin. They were both the sweetest kids.

The situation they met in was awful, and the conditions not much better, but despite everything, Doyoung was glad those two had gotten to meet each other. The two looked at each other like Yuta and Doyoung weren’t even in the room, and Doyoung suspected Jeno really hadn’t seen them yet.

Then, the moment broke, and Jaemin pointed wordlessly in their direction with a bright smile. Slowly, Jeno’s head turned, and Doyoung let out a deep sigh of relief as his features brightened up immediately as he laid eyes on Doyoung.

“Love you hyung,” Jeno said, words almost inaudible, but Doyoung heard it. Jaemin stroked Jeno’s hair with a smile on his face, and Doyoung squeezed his hand a few times. Then Yuta came closer and helped Jeno drink the purple liquid.

_The dancers will heal Jeno._

When he swallowed the last drop, Jaemin’s stroking didn’t stop, and Jeno’s eyes closed again. A long, soft exhale told Doyoung he was asleep again, and a second later Jeno’s grip on Doyoung’s hands slacked. Letting out a shaky exhale of his own, Doyoung let go and stepped back, twisting to hide his face. He didn’t want to cry again, and definitely not with Yuta in the room. Not again.

A soft touch on his folded hands didn’t shock him as much as it probably should, and he let Yuta grab Doyoung’s hand in his. It felt comforting. His hands felt too empty after letting go of Jeno’s, and if Yuta was willing to fill them for Doyoung, he was glad to let him.

Yuta stroked the back of his hand with his thumb, and Doyoung tried not to shiver at the sensation. Things were definitely different between them, but Doyoung didn’t want to acknowledge or identify the newfound feelings.

Yuta was leaving in less than two weeks. They had no time to get close. He’d leave, go outside again, live freely, and maybe he’d even take Jeno with him, and Doyoung would be stuck inside the castle. Bound, again. For the rest of his life.

He shook the discomfort at the thoughts off and turned to leave for the empty room again. This was reality. He couldn’t let himself get too carried away. Yuta was going to leave. Leave Doyoung behind. And he would have to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment, what do you think. should i make this long or keep it kinda short? and with that i mean around 13-15 chapters, or go on and let the story go on? cause if i keep going like this its gonna be like 20 or even more. maybe leave kudos or a comment or anything idk if you liked it? xoxo


	7. 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was planning to make this one shorter cause it's a filler but then I didnt. dont rlly like it but hope you do. halfway done with 8. has anyone noticed the change in chapter titles?

Doyoung didn't sleep all too well, that night. For once, it weren't worries for Jeno that kept him awake, though. He couldn't keep his mind from straying to Yuta, how much he'd actually miss his presence. At least, it'd take a lot of time to get used to him being gone again. Doyoung being alone again. It was kind of scary how quickly he'd gotten used to having Yuta around.

Maybe Yuta just was like that. He seemed like it; someone who was so likable and easy to get along with that you'd let them tease you like Doyoung let Yuta (even though he still disliked admitting that he kind of liked the attention). It seemed impossible that there were people out there who actually disliked or even hated Yuta. He didn’t think  there was anyone.

Then Doyoung's mind had went to how little he actually really knew about Yuta. Where he came from, how he met Jaemin, how long they've been together and how Yuta usually lives his life. Did they travel around as much as Doyoung assumed they did, or did they stay at villages for a longer time before changing location? Did they have a house of their own, a home somewhere?

Doyoung thought and overhought and brooded until his eyes grew heavy, and after some more time involuntarily fell closed. He dreamed of Yuta.

***

The next morning, it was Yuta himself who came to wake Doyoung up with the announcement that they had a long way to walk today and had to leave as soon as possible.

Doyoung, still half asleep, wrestled himself out of his sleeping clothes and into his comfortable travelling clothes. Still drowsy fifteen minutes later, he accepted the bag a cook handed him and followed Yuta outside.

The weather was nice, but dark clouds loomed in the distance, and Doyoung already feared another rainy day. Yuta didn't look too worried. “Like I said, it's a long trip today, maybe the longest yet. We’ll have to be quick if we want to get back before dark,” Yuta said, already walking further away.

Doyoung blinked the last traces of sleep out of his eyes and darted after Yuta. “Since when do you know the area so well?” he asked, tone sounding more teasing than he'd intended.

Yuta didn't seem to catch on. “Asked the cook,” Yuta replied, “not the young one, the older woman. She said she grew up in a village behind the woods, closer to the mountain and she told me more about the spices available there.”

Doyoung nodded, though Yuta still had his back turned to him. “That's right, closer to the mountains there's a strip of very fertile soil, that's where most of the farms are. Closer to the mountains, the land is a bit more rough. You can find a lot of wild spices there.”

“Perfect,” Yuta said, and continued walking. They quickly passed through the woods, taking the fastest route and in no more than a few hours, they had made it through the deepest part of the woods. Doyoung hadn't eaten anything for breakfast, and the sun had reached its highest point in the sky. He called out to Yuta for a break.

When he saw Yuta was about to protest, he resolutely sat down and took the bag he'd been carrying off his back. It was completely stuffed with food, and Doyoung took out a couple of sandwiches and a leather pouch with water. Taking a big gulp of water, he motioned for Yuta to also sit down, which he did begrudgingly.

Doyoung held back a snicker at Yuta's disgruntled expression and handed him the pouch, forcing Yuta to accept it and also drink. Then he took a big bite out of the sandwich and leaned back, constantly chewing.

His personal cook, Taeyong, was a worrywart and always prepared too much food. One day, Doyoung had been busy with business his parents wanted him to do, and Taeyong had sat at Jeno's bedside until Doyoung returned and then continued to prepare a meal that would probably be enough for three people.

On another, Jeno's state had been particularly bad and Doyoung had refused to leave his bedside for over 2 days. In that time, he had only drank some water from time to time, also refusing to eat or drink. Taeyong had ignored all etiquette and forced his way into Jeno's room, spoon-feeding Doyoung until he was satisfied.

Taeyong was amazing, and Doyoung couldn't imagine life without Taeyong somewhere in the castle. Another amazing thing about him was the fact that whatever it was Taeyong made, it always tasted delicious.

Doyoung was sure even the most renowned masterchefs wouldn’t be able to beat Taeyong's cooking. Taeyong's food tasted like home,  and Doyoung would choose it over chic, refined dishes any day.

With his mouth still stuffed from the second sandwich, he noticed Yuta hadn’t eaten anything yet and was instead laughing silently at him. Doyoung glared at him, but Yuta was unbothered. “You look so dumb,” he said in answer to Doyoung's unasked question, still chuckling. “Absolutely ridiculous. Like a bunny, or something like that.”

Doyoung just sent him another glare and kept chewing his food, ignoring how Yuta only laughed louder at his face. Grumbling quietly, he swallowed and grabbed a third sandwich, shoving it at Yuta's face. When Yuta didn't accept it, Doyoung waved it around, nearly actually pressing it into his face. 

A smirk Doyoung decided he didn't like appeared on Yuta’s face, and he opened his mouth. “No, I'm not doing that,” Doyoung said with a warning voice, slightly pulling his hand back. Yuta just kept looking at Doyoung with his stupid smirk and even dared to pull up an eyebrow at Doyoung's protest. “Don't even think about it,” Doyoung added warningly, but it was all deemed futile as Yuta grabbed Doyoung's wrist and lead it back to his mouth, taking a bite out of the sandwich.

“How kind of you to feed me,” Yuta crooned, finally accepting the sandwich from Doyoung's hands. Dumbfounded, Doyoung sat back. He was speechless at Yuta's sudden shameless actions, even more when Yuta didn’t seem to be flustered at all.

"Shut up,” he bit out, but there was no real venom behind the words. Yuta heard it, and merely smiled at him. It was infuriating, and usually Doyoung would've been fuming.

For some reason, Yuta made it... not so annoying. Almost cute. But Yuta wasn't cute, and Doyoung wasn't supposed to think anything of Yuta, so he shoved the thoughts down and didn't spare Yuta another glance as he made a grab for the grapes Taeyong packed. Popping one into his mouth, he continued to ignore Yuta.

At least, as far as Yuta's obnoxious grin that seemed to take up all the air around Doyoung allowed. Which was not that much at all. With a loud and possibly over exaggerated sigh, Doyoung concluded that when Yuta didn't want to be ignored, it was impossible to do so and useless to try it anyway.

Annoyed and overpowered, Doyoung sighed again and threw a few grapes in Yuta's direction. Yuta's  laugh sounded suspiciously like giggles, but Doyoung disregarded that thought before it could properly form.

Giggles were cute, and Yuta was not cute. He couldn't be, and Doyoung couldn't think that. He wasn't too sure if he really was sure of that or if it was what he wanted to believe.

Yuta's laugh, after all, did sound a lot like actual giggles, and giggles were cute. Just... not Yuta. Not for Doyoung. Impossible.

Doyoung hoped his cheeks weren't as red as they felt as he dared shoot Yuta a glance from under his eyelashes, and yes, that was undeniably a giggly Yuta. Impossible. Not cute. Never.

Doyoung was ready to give up hope and give in to the obvious burn all over his face and neck when Yuta suddenly stood up. “Let's get going,” he said, dusting off his clothes.

Doyoung frowned. “Don't you want to eat some more? You only had one sandwich.”

Yuta shrugged. “I'm fine,” he said, turning away from Doyoung with a smile. “I had some breakfast, you didn't. We're not at the right spot just yet, and it's a long way back. We should get going.”

“Alright, if you're sure,” Doyoung replied, now also getting up. He grabbed the bag with the remaining food and water and together, they continued their way to the foot of the mountain. The sky had gotten darker and darker on their way, and Doyoung was positive it was going to rain again soon. It was needless to say he was absolutely not looking forward to a repeat of the unfortunate events that had happened a few days before. He didn't like getting wet, nor dirty. No rain for Doyoung.

Yuta seemed to have noticed the air darkening rapidly as well, but he didn't look worried. Doyoung held back a scoff. He had clearly seen last time that Yuta disliked the rain about as much as him.

Then, Yuta unexpectedly threw a crooked (charming) smile at Doyoung over his shoulder, and mumbled some words Doyoung didn't understand. A spell?

Yuta looked over his shoulder again, and Doyoung looked back, showing his confusion. “I casted a spell that should keep us dry if it does start to rain in a few,” Yuta said airily, visibly suppressing a laugh as Doyoung's mouth nearly dropped open.

“You mean-" he started, voice sounding more shrill than he'd intended. He coughed and tried again. “You mean you were able to cast some- some rainshield thing all this time, and you still let me make a fool out of myself and let me get soaking wet in the rain? What is your problem?” At the end of his monologue, his voice was back to the high tone from before, but he was too annoyed to mind it.

Yuta, as expected, only laughed. Seeing the annoyance and aggravation on Doyoung's face only seemed to spur it on further, so Doyoung turned on his heel and was about to walk away from Yuta to cool his temper when Yuta called after him. “If you’re too far away, this so-called rainshield won't work!”

Taking a deep breath, Doyoung stood still and turned around, only barely holding his temper in enough to not stomp on his way back to Yuta. The other merely grinned, patted Doyoung's arm and got to work. Doyoung continued complaining, but Yuta paid no mind to it.

For about an hour, Doyoung helped Yuta pick certain weeds and herbs, a comfortable silence between them.

Doyoung liked working with Yuta like this. Yuta was easy to be around, and the mutual quiet between them had not once felt awkward. Neither felt like they needed to fill the air with talking, and Doyoung had to admit he felt quite comfortable around Yuta. Also with the teasing that did occasionally happen between them. It didn't feel forced when Yuta made teasing remarks, and when he laughed at Doyoung's reactions or retorts it was genuine and unbridled.

Doyoung… quite liked Yuta's laugh. It was loud, and his smile was wide and it just… gave Doyoung the urge to laugh along, even when whatever had made Yuta laugh was at his own expense or not funny at all.

Doyoung was pulled out of his thoughts when Yuta stood up and walked around, looking a bit annoyed. He sat back on his heels and watched Yuta search the clearing for a few minutes, the annoyed expression growing stronger and stronger on his heels. Yuta clicked his tongue irritatedly, and Doyoung decided to jump in.

“What is it?” he called out to Yuta. He looked up at Doyoung, frowning.

“Can't find it,” he said distractedly, turning his eyes back to the forest floor again. He didn't specify what exactly he couldn't find, so Doyoung asked again. Yuta huffed. Doyoung didn't fail to notice his fists, clenched at his sides.

“A few herbs I need for the final stages,” he then said, gritting his teeth. “I can't find them here.”

Doyoung nodded and turned around, looking around and racking his thoughts for a spot they hadn't searched yet. His eyes fell on the rock, meters away, that led to the foot of the mountains.

Then, he remembered the stories one of his childhood teachers always told him. He turned back around to Yuta and walked up to him, to make sure he'd hear what Doyoung had come up with.

“I've heard stories of a village, at the top of the mountain,” he started, and Yuta attentively turned to him. “It's a sacred area, because it's so unique. Right on that mountain, there's supposed to be a small area with incredibly fertile soil and a lot of herbs that can't grow down here.”

Yuta hummed and turned to look at their surroundings. “How long… would it take to travel there? And back down?”

Doyoung shrugged. “I've never been there, I have no idea. My best bet is about three days before you're back at the castle.”

Yuta seemed to consider it seriously, and he looked deep in thought. “And you're sure of this?”

Doyoung shook his head. “It's a sacred land, so nobody is sure if there's even an actual village now. Just that there used to be, according to the legends. But it is true that there's a small piece of land with remarkable plant growth. Maybe the fertile soil legends are true, but I can't promise anything.”

Yuta hummed again and stayed quiet for a while. “We do really need those herbs,” he then said.

Doyoung tried to not show his flustered surprise when Yuta said we. It made him feel warm on the inside, but that didn't matter now.

After another minute of pondering, Yuta made a decision. “There's no chance we'll succeed without it. Travelling all the way up there… it's worth the risk.”

“Then we'll go,” Doyoung agreed. Yuta started packing up his equipment, and Doyoung assumed they were done here.

He'd never been up the mountain. A bit, when he was young, to a village in a valley a few hours up. Never all the way to the top, but he knew it was possible. His teacher used to tell him stories of the beautiful views on the way up, and how well you could see a big part of the kingdom from the top. When it was clear, you could even see the castle in the distance.

Doyoung decided he'd like to see it. To see all the possible places he could go. Yuta had probably been to a lot of those places, as a traveler. Doyoung hadn't, but he'd always wanted to see more of the kingdom. More of the world. Perhaps that was his biggest regret from his childhood, and the thing he disliked most about being crown prince. He would've loved to live freely, be able to go wherever you want to go and explore every single place that seemed interesting.

After a few more minutes, they were done and started their trip back to the castle. It was a few hours on foot, but Yuta seemed happy. Doyoung personally didn't mind walking, but Yuta was visibly excited to be walking through the forest. It was cute.

When it was only one or two hours walking back to the castle, the sky started to darken and Doyoung and Yuta halted to have some more food. Doyoung hadn't even noticed how hungry he was until he had sat down and opened the bag Taeyong had given them. Yuta didn't seem too hungry, but Doyoung was nothing if not just as stubborn as Yuta.

“You have to eat, it's past dinnertime already,” he said, aware he sounded like a nagging mother. Good. Maybe Yuta would get annoyed and listen to him.

“I'm not hungry,” Yuta said dismissively, laying down on his back to look at the sky that was still rapidly darkening.

"We've been out the whole day, you have to eat,” Doyoung pressed again, allowing some of the worry he felt to shine through in his voice.

“What, worried I'll starve?” Yuta joked, looking at Doyoung from where he lied. It occurred to Doyoung that Yuta must be seeing him upside down. He wasn't sure why the knowledge made him feel so... tingly.

“Yes, actually,” Doyoung said with finality in his voice, and with a big movement he grabbed the last sandwich and stuffed it inside Yuta's mouth, that had been slightly opened in one of his probably signature grins. It looked boyish, and cute, and young. Free.

Doyoung didn't even bother to deny to himself that it looked even cuter with stuffed cheeks and a surprised look on his face.

After Yuta (forcefully) finished the sandwich, they had no food left and resumed their trip. In the meantime, the sky had fully darkened and the stars were out. A few meters ahead of Doyoung, Yuta was nearly skipping down the path in excitement. It seemed the sandwich had re-energized him enough, despite the late hour. Doyoung couldn't help but smile at Yuta's antics.

“Look, Doie, the stars are so bright,” Yuta exclaimed cheerfully over his shoulder, turning around and skipping backwards. Doyoung, however, wasn't focusing on Yuta at all. His brain felt… fried, probably.

 _Doie._ A nickname. A ridiculous and childish one at that. One that barely made sense and probably could've been made up by a toddler. But it was Yuta. Stupid, annoying, adorably cheerful Yuta.

Doyoung hated the way the simple nickname made his heart pound faster in his chest. He wouldn't be surprised if it missed a few beats, at one point. There were no feelings, he mentally chanted to himself. No feelings, no feelings, _no feelings._ There couldn't be, so there weren't. It just had to work like that, for once. It had to.

Yuta either didn't notice Doyoung's inner turmoil, or didn't comment on it, and kept bounding down the path cheerfully, commenting on a shooting star or how big and nice the moon looked. Doyoung held back from commenting on how beautiful Yuta looked under the weak moonlight.

At least he did now understand why Yuta had a puppy as familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me smth if you liked it owo tHANKS FOR ALMOST 1K READS MUAH


	8. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise (thanks flight for being boring and thanks isi for surviving my typos)

When they finally got back at the castle, it was nearing midnight. Doyoung was exhausted, and he knew Yuta was too. He had stopped skipping and prancing around a few kilometers ago, and was now even dragging his feet, the load he was carrying probably heavier than he'd anticipated. Doyoung assumed the rainshield was also still intact, which must've also taken a great deal of Yuta's energy.

He couldn't deny that he was still annoyed about Yuta not using this ability before, when it had actually rained, but now he was mostly just extremely relieved it hadn't started raining during the day like they'd worried.

Back in the castle, Yuta yawned and slowly stretched his arms above his head. Doyoung smiled and waved. “Good night,” he said. “You better get some proper rest before tomorrow.”

Yuta hummed noncomotically and waved back at Doyoung before rubbing his eyes with his fingers. Cute. “Yeah, good night,” Yuta replied vaguely and took off in the direction of the room he stayed in. Doyoung took this as a dismissal and went for his own chambers.

He probably should've taken a bath, but most of the servants were already off to bed. On top of that, Doyoung was sure if he let himself relax in the hot water, he'd just fall asleep there, and he'd rather get a good rest in his own bed than in the frankly uncomfortable bathtub. Quickly changing out of his clothes, he let himself fall on his bed and crawled under the covers. As soon as his head hit the pillow, all thoughts and worries about Yuta or Jeno or anything or anyone else were instantly gone, and everything went black.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a field. Doyoung felt himself frown. He didn't recognize the place. He was sure he'd never been there, and even doubted there was a place as beautiful and paradise like in the kingdom.

With slow and sluggish movements, he sat up, taking a moment to look around him. The grass was bright green, the field he was sat on absolutely littered with the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen. A treeline lingered in the distance and he could hear some wild animals. Despite being in a completely open field, unprotected and visible for anyone, he felt safe. Almost scarily so.

He was shocked up by bright laughter behind him, and when he turned around his eyes widened. A few meters away from him, a boy with dark hair and bright eyes was running around, a small, white and fluffy dog chasing after him. They were strangely familiar, and then it clicked. The boy was Jeno, and the other was Jaemin in his dog form.

Something was off, though, and Doyoung quickly realised they looked older. Was this supposed to be a look into the future? Into Jeno's future? Did this mean Jeno would leave him behind? For Jaemin? Would he go with Jaemin and Yuta after he was healed, or did this not mean anything?

Despite the dark thoughts steadily creeping up on Doyoung, he smiled. Jeno looked happy. Happier than he'd looked since a very, very long time, and Doyoung felt like the luckiest man in the world to be able to witness Jeno's bright smile again.

 _Yuta_. If Jaemin was here, where was Yuta? Weren't the two always together? He should surely be around, right? Doyoung could hardly imagine Jaemin staying with Jeno, and letting Yuta leave on his own instead of the other way around.

A warm hand fell on his shoulder, and with a shock, Doyoung turned around. His eyes immediately fell on Yuta's face, closer than he expected. He instinctively jerked back a little, but Yuta just moved closer again, a soft smile gracing his lips and his eyes warm.

The expression on Yuta's face did things to Doyoung that he didn't like to acknowledge. His heart skipped a beat, and he felt tingly. He hoped with all his heart that he wasn't blushing. At least, not too visibly. Then, dream-Doyoung (who was probably either more stupid or more courageous than real Doyoung) felt his own lips curl up, and even though he didn't mean to, he felt dream-Doyoung move closer. He vaguely heard gagging noises behind him, and then their lips touched.

Doyoung jerked awake, immediately sitting upright in his bed. His heart was beating like crazy, and his face was burning. There was no possible way he wasn't blushing. He knew his entire face was red. What was that? It was a dream, that was for sure. Doyoung wasn't too sure if he should count it as a nightmare, or not. Probably not.

He was crazy. That had to be it. Being in Yuta's presence for too long had made him slowly go insane. Yuta had, in a measly week, wormed his way into Doyoung's life and routine so thoroughly he now even came to bother Doyoung in his dreams.

 _You weren't all that bothered, though,_ a treacherous voice in his mind supplied unhelpfully, and Doyoung willed it down.

He had kissed Yuta. He had leaned in, and Yuta had leaned in, and their lips had touched. Sure, it was only in his dream. It hadn't actually happened. But why on earth was Doyoung even dreaming about things like that?

Doyoung shook his head in a futile attempt to rid his mind of the dangerous thoughts and quite clear mental images of Yuta's face so up close to his their lips were able to touch- Enough of this crap. Doyoung pinched his arm for good measure and determinedly got out of bed, forcing himself to go through an ice cold shower and dress himself.

It seemed to be quite late already, the sun high against a bright blue sky. Yuta hadn't come into his room yet, and so hadn't Jaemin, so he assumed Yuta was still asleep or had left on his own. The latter was unlikely, but maybe the former even more. Yuta seemed to always be awake before Doyoung, and he didn't seem to be the kind of person to get impatient enough to just leave alone. Doyoung liked to think he wasn't, at least.

He got out of his room and grabbed an apple from the kitchens, slowly eating it on his way back upstairs to Jeno's room. What he saw there gave him a clear answer to all previously thought-out questions.

Jaemin and Yuta were sat side by side on chairs at Jeno's bedside, Jaemin this time in human form. Yuta was curled up on the seat, his head in Jaemin's lap, the younger petting Yuta's hair with slow, practiced movements. Yuta was fast asleep.

Doyoung closed the door behind him, alerting Jaemin of his presence. The boy held a finger in front of his lips, signalling for Doyoung to be quiet. Doyoung, however, didn't want to be quiet.

He walked up to Yuta and shook his shoulder against Jaemin's silent protests, effectively waking him up. Yuta slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes with a confused look on his face. Doyoung ignored the continuous glaring Jaemin sent his way.

Yuta's hair was an absolute mess and there were indents and lines on his face from Jaemin's clothing. Combined with the still confused look on his face, his drowsy eyes and the yawn he let out, he looked positively adorable, and Doyoung once more had to push back the fluttering feeling that bubbled up in his chest. There was no time to wallow over how cute Yuta looked when he just woke up.

“What is this?” Doyoung asked, trying to sound as friendly and accommodating as possible.  Yuta luckily didn't look too offended at the harshness that was still in his voice, probably too far gone still to even properly take notice of it.

“Hmh?” Yuta asked, slowly blinking the last traces of sleep out of his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Doyoung decided Yuta might still be half asleep, and that he might be a bit slow, so he repeated the question, now making a conscious effort to soften his voice. “Why are you here and why were you asleep at this time of the day?” he added, to clarify the question to Yuta.

This time, Yuta did seem to get it, and a sheepish smile immediately made way onto his face. Doyoung felt his eyebrows dip into a frown. This probably wasn't leading up to anything Doyoung would be happy with, and he forced himself to stay calm and listen to whatever it was Yuta had to say first.

“I- um, I stayed awake all night to finish some potions for the cure, and used up too much of the magical energy and passed out here?” Yuta then answered.

Ah. Doyoung was right. He definitely didn't like this.

Sure, he greatly appreciated how much effort Yuta was putting into the healing of Jeno, but he had grown to care for not only Jeno, but Yuta and Jaemin as well, despite barely having spoken with Jaemin and Yuta still annoying him to bits and pieces every day. He strongly disliked that Yuta was disregarding his own health for Jeno's.

He sent Jaemin an exasperated look. The other had the consciousness to look guilty. Doyoung made a decision and grabbed Yuta's upper arm with two hands, gently urging him up.

“Come on, get up,” he said when Yuta struggled at first.

Sighing, Yuta complied. “Are you ready to go?” he then asked, and Doyoung had to do a double take to be sure he understood Yuta properly.

“Are you insane?” Doyoung exclaimed, though minding to keep his tone gentle. He was mad at Yuta for neglecting his own health and much needed rest, but tried to keep in mind that Yuta had done it for him. Well, for Jeno, but that was just as important to Doyoung.

Yuta looked confused, and Doyoung sighed. “You really have no semblance of self-care, do you? You're in no state to go out, let alone for three days including climbing a damn mountain. You're resting, and tomorrow we'll go to that stupid mountain.”

The lack of arguing from Yuta's side once again confirmed to Doyoung that the other was in no state to work on the cure today. He was visibly exhausted, and Doyoung was not letting this happen so easily.

He led Yuta up to the bathrooms, commanding a servant to prepare a bath for him. In the meantime, Doyoung himself went back down to make a proper meal for Yuta. In the kitchens, he ran into none other than Taeyong.

“Sir!” Taeyong said cheerfully at the sight of Doyoung. Doyoung frowned at him, and he quickly corrected his words. “Doyoung, I mean, hi! What are you doing in here?” Bless Taeyong and his sweet, pure soul.

Doyoung pulled himself up to sit on the counter, swinging his legs. Of course, he'd grown up with Jeno by his side, but he'd ever only had one friend around his age, and that was Taeyong.

Taeyong was born in the castle, just like Doyoung, and when Doyoung's classes started, Taeyong started his apprenticeship to become a chef inside the castle. They had always been together, and around Taeyong, Doyoung felt he could always be as childish as he wanted, not having to keep up the pretense of a chic, polite and well-mannered crown prince. With Taeyong, Doyoung was just the boy he grew up with, and it was comforting.

“Have you heard about the new… doctor? For Jeno?” Doyoung asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure what Taeyong thought of witches, and he knew Taeyong wasn't one to judge or be mean, but maybe he didn't even believe in them. Doyoung didn't know. After all, he hadn't believed in witches either before Yuta came around.

Taeyong nodded, humming to himself as he gathered ingredients and cooking supplies. “Hmm, yes. The boy with the dog, right? The puppy is absolutely adorable!”

Doyoung grinned. He knew Taeyong would love Jaemin. He was a dog person after all, always having been especially fond of puppies. Taeyong was predictable in that sense. Then Doyoung swallowed. How should he tell Taeyong that the puppy wasn't exactly a puppy, and the boy… not exactly a boy?

"You're frowning,” Taeyong remarked, though his back was turned to Doyoung. He couldn't help but smile. Taeyong knew him through and through, and had these Doyoung-senses that no one else possessed, maybe except for Jeno. "I know he's a witch,” Taeyong then said airily, and Doyoung let out a sigh. “And the puppy is a boy. He's cute. I have good hopes for his cure, I think he'll do well.”

Doyoung smiled. “Yeah, he's doing well. And Nana really is adorable.”

Taeyong sent Doyoung a look over his shoulder. It was a bit too smug for Doyoung's likes, and it reminded him eerily of Yuta's annoying knowing smiles. “You think he's cute, right?” Taeyong asked, but Doyoung knew it wasn't a question. He knew Taeyong as well as Taeyong knew him, and Taeyong was teasing him. He decided not to give in.

“Don't know what you're talking about,” Doyoung replied, trying to sound as casual as possible. The flashes of the images of Yuta's face, up close, coming closer and closer until- _No_. Very unwelcome images. Very clear and very vivid, but not okay.  Not only were they inappropriate, they were useless. It would and could never happen. Doyoung didn't even want it to happen.

“Then why am I preparing a luxurious breakfast for him while you're daydreaming about something I'm probably not allowed to know about?” Taeyong said, sounding cheeky.

“Stop assuming things, you're not even looking at me,” Doyoung replied with quite some snark in his tone.

Taeyong just laughed, and turned around with a plate with rice with meat and vegetables and a bowl of soup, both looking like culinary masterpieces. “What, so you're trying to say I'm wrong?” Taeyong said, one eyebrow pulled up. He giggled when Doyoung just glared and took the plate from his hands.

“Shut up,” he hissed. Taeyong knew how he meant it, and wouldn't take offense anyway. It was proved when Taeyong just laughed again and gave Doyoung a push against his shoulder.

“Go and take this upstairs to loverboy,” he said, sounding more genuine and serious than before.  

Doyoung huffed. There was no loverboy, just like there was no boy and certainly no lover. No love to be detected anywhere.

Doyoung nodded in thanks and appreciation and smiled as Taeyong patted his shoulder again. Then, he headed out of the kitchen and back upstairs to Yuta's room.

He was already out of the bath, dressed in the same fluffy bathrobe as a few days before. He looked unbearably soft and comfortable bundled up between those bathrobes and the blankets in his bed, and Doyoung had to hold back a coo at his somehow still messy hair.

“I brought food,” he said quietly, not wanting to surprise Yuta. The latter sat up straighter with a sweet smile, eyes immediately focusing on the plate in Doyoung's hands. Doyoung smiled back at him even though he obviously wasn't looking at Doyoung, and handed him the plate. Then he sat down on the edge of Yuta's bed as he watched the other finish his meal.

They didn't speak, but the silence was comfortable. When he was finished, Yuta pushed the plate to the foot of his bed, where Doyoung placed it on the floor. He threw out all his pillows and instead clutched the thick blanket tightly in his hands, hugging it close to his chest. Doyoung again had to hold himself back if he didn't want to express how much Yuta was affecting his thoughts right now. Even an idiot would understand Yuta was letting himself be completely vulnerable in front of Doyoung, and it did strange things to his heart.

He ignored the fake memory of the feel of Yuta's lips against his and instead reached out to pet Yuta's hair like he'd seen Jaemin do earlier. Yuta curled up further and leaned into Doyoung's touch, and Doyoung didn't stop.

“This okay?” Doyoung asked quietly. Yuta hummed appreciatively. “Good,” he continued, not slowing his movements for one moment. “Now rest.”

Yuta hummed again, a wide smile not leaving his face. Doyoung was no expert on Yuta and his expressions and behavior yet, not by far, but he was almost 100 percent sure Yuta was 10 seconds away from falling asleep. At most. And he was right.

Only a few seconds later, Doyoung heard a muffled “Doie?”.

He ignored the way his stomach jumped at the nickname and hummed to indicate he'd heard Yuta, and was listening. It stayed quiet for a while, and Doyoung thought Yuta had fallen asleep. Then, a muffled “thank you”.

It was barely audible, but Doyoung had heard it loud and clear. He smiled. “You're welcome.”

The feelings he got around Yuta were something he was both not willing and not ready to acknowledge. If he did, he knew they'd become too big to further ignore before he knew it, and that was dangerous.

Yuta would leave soon. Yuta wouldn't feel the same. Doyoung would never be able nor allowed to express those feelings. It was better for both of them if they just stayed ignored. If Doyoung just kept pretending his heart didn't sometimes speed up at things Yuta said or did, or how Yuta was so clearly someone special to him in his dream. He couldn't. Never. So it would be better to just pretend there had never been anything there. Yet, at this specific moment...

The memory of dream-Yuta's lips against dream-Doyoung's was too tempting to completely ignore. Yuta was asleep, yet Doyoung couldn't bring himself to stop petting Yuta's hair. Yuta would be asleep for multiple hours, for sure, yet Doyoung couldn't bring himself to leave his side.

Before he could get any other ideas or doubts, he curled up at Yuta's side, on top of the blanket, sure to keep a decent amount of distance between them. In a reflex, almost, and impulsively, he stretched forward and quickly pressed his lips to the crown of Yuta's head, not doing anything else other than resuming his petting after that. He felt his face heat up, but he twined his fingers in Yuta's hair once more, and let his body relax.

Yuta was asleep. He would let himself indulge in this, in these inappropriate and unnamed and unneeded and definitely forbidden affections just one time. Only this time.

With Yuta's warmth close and his hair soft under his fingers, he was unconscious within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personally really happy with this one hope you like it too


	9. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might have slower updates for a little while. not doing too well and im participating in 2 different write fests with 3 prompts (1 for nct write write and 2 for dreamies fic fest!!) so ill focus more on that. have this.

Doyoung was woken up by rustling, and with a soft groan he opened his eyes. Immediately after, he closed them again. The sun was already up, and for some reason his curtains were wide open, causing the light to shine in his eyes. Next to him, Yuta made a similar complaint.

Doyoung turned around and turned his face further into the blanket, too tired to question why he was on top of the blanket and not underneath it. He was about to go back to sleep when it hit him, and with a shock he sat up.

Yuta. Yuta was in his bed, under his blanket, smiling up at him and the sun was shining and did he sleep in his bed?

Then the memories of the night before came flooding back to him, and Doyoung felt his cheeks darken. _He_ had fallen asleep in _Yuta’s_ bed, instead of the other way around. And now, they were next to each other still, had woken up at the same time, and Yuta looked beautiful under the warm rays of sunlight on his face-

Doyoung thanked the him of yesterday for being conscious enough to stay on top of the blanket. Who knew what would’ve happened if he hadn’t? Doyoung couldn’t envision Yuta hugging him in his sleep, but just the idea was already enough to make his heartbeat speed up.

Yuta was clearly better at waking up in the morning than Doyoung. He sat up and threw another smile his way, ruffling his hair with his hands. Then he shook his head and got out of bed, stretching. He was still in his clothes from the day before, and Doyoung thanked himself once more.

“Morning,” Yuta said cheerfully. He only had a slight morning voice, but it was enough. In combination with his terrible bed-hair and eyes still slightly swollen up from sleeping, that would’ve been Doyoung’s death. Possibly.

Doyoung willed his blush to go down, not knowing why it was there in the first place, and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes a few times and tried to get his hair to not stand up too much, but was interrupted by a yawn.

Was Yuta ignoring how they woke up in such… _compromising_ positions? He didn’t say anything about, nor did he look too bothered. Did he feel awkward, or embarrassed? Doyoung hated that he couldn’t read Yuta right now.

Had he ruined everything that had grown between them?

He coughed, catching Yuta’s attention. Doyoung knew the other must’ve been looking at him now, but he kept his own eyes on the floor. With how high the sun was, Doyoung assumed it was already past their usual breakfast time, meaning they’d have to get ready to leave quickly. That reminded him of something.

“Are you- are you well-rested now?” he asked Yuta, still not looking up. Yuta’s exhaustion had been the reason they hadn’t left the day before, after all. Doyoung hated how his voice was still raspy from sleep. The nerves that seemed to have come out of nowhere made it shake, and it annoyed him.

Even without looking at Yuta, Doyoung could hear the smile in his voice as he replied. “Yeah, I am,” he said, voice soft. “I remember you taking care of me, so it’s all because of you. Really, thank you.”

That last part did it for Doyoung, and he felt the blood rush to his cheeks immediately. He quickly looked up and back down. The look on Yuta’s face wasn’t teasing at all, rather one of genuine gratitude. As suspected, he was smiling. “How- How much do you remember?” Doyoung asked, hating the way he stumbled over his words.

He decided he couldn’t keep looking at the floor forever, and he looked up again. Immediately after followed regret. Yuta’s smile was charming, disarming, broke through all the barriers Doyoung was struggling to keep up. He didn’t think it was possible for his face to become any warmer. Just like how Yuta’s smile kept growing wider and brighter every day, when Doyoung thought he’d seen it all.

“You brought me food,” Yuta said, “and you let me take the day off, take a bath and let me go to bed in the middle of the day.”

Doyoung nodded. Those weren’t too… risky. Regarding everything that had happened. He sincerely hoped Yuta really hadn’t noticed or remembered them and wasn’t just pretending to not remember and simply didn’t mention them. Just thinking of them made him even more flustered, and he spluttered out some incomprehensible sounds.

What if it was all just a front? What if Yuta did remember everything, and was just not saying it to protect Doyoung and his sanity? Though that didn’t seem like something Yuta would do. Maybe Yuta was embarrassed as well?

_Had he ruined everything?_

Doyoung softly swore to himself and took his eyes off Yuta’s ever-growing smile, instead deciding to busy his hands with picking up the plate he had discarded the night before. When he looked back up, Yuta was still smiling. More like grinning.

He knew exactly what it was doing to him, and suddenly Doyoung got annoyed. How dare he? Affect Doyoung like this, when Doyoung was already nervous and flustered and overthinking everything he’d done with Yuta ever?

With determined steps, he moved to pass Yuta, out of the room. To return the plate, of course. Not to get away from Yuta and his stupid, bright, beautiful smile. Just when he was about to step past the other, Yuta stopped him with a warm hand on his elbow. Doyoung froze. Yuta was looking over his shoulder, still smiling that stupid smile.

“Doie?” he said, his voice soft but a teasing lilt to it immediately obvious to Doyoung. Still frozen where he stood, Yuta’s hand on his arm, he pathetically tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever was about to come out of Yuta’s mouth. _That cursed nickname._

Doyoung made a small sound to indicate that he was listening, despite wanting nothing more than to run out of the room. He was in no way able to be prepared enough for what Yuta said.

“Did you really play with my hair last night, or was that part of my dream?”

This was it. This was the moment that Doyoung died. At least, he felt like his heart could give out any second. Yes, he’d played with Yuta’s hair. For a long time. And kissed it. Yuta could never know about that last part, though. And part of his dream? Did he dream about someone doing things like that to him? Was Doyoung involved? What did this mean?

“I’m…” Doyoung stuttered out, his eyes on literally anything but Yuta. This was not good. He was already flustered to begin with. First of all by the position they’d fallen asleep and then woken up in, then the fact that Yuta didn’t seem to care much about it and now this.

“What of it?” he then said in a miserable attempt to not come across as too pathetic. He was, anyway. Trying not to be was fruitless, he thought to himself as he stumbled over his words, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, only barely remembering to not drop the plate. That would only make the situation even more embarrassing. “Anyway, we have to go, remember? Long trip today, if you’re rested enough.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” was all Yuta replied, voice softer than should be allowed.  Doyoung nearly choked on his own spit.

“Oh, I- oh. Oh. Yeah, well… Yeah. I did. But Jaemin did it and I thought-”

“I liked it, even,” Yuta said with a soft grin, and Doyoung decided he’d suffered enough. He gripped the plate tighter and swallowed once, coughed a few times and steeled himself.

“Well, um- great. Go change and get ready. We’re leaving.” And with those words, he pushed the door open and ran downstairs, back to the kitchen. Possibly faster than ever before. Taeyong wasn’t in the kitchen yet, and Doyoung was glad. He had no doubts he would’ve never heard the end of it if he’d stumbled upon Taeyong while still blushing as aggressively as he was sure he was. Taeyong had left a small bag with food on a table again, and Doyoung sent a small mental blessing. He hadn’t even thought of that.

Shortly after, he also went to change and pack some more comfortable clothes for the three days they’d probably be out and went to meet Yuta at the gates. When he arrived, the other was already there.

“Nana and I did another small part of the cure really quickly when you were gone,” Yuta said when he saw Doyoung. “He said hi, and have fun. I said we would, and he just laughed. Something going on I’m not aware of?”

Doyoung frowned and shook his head. Maybe Jeno was more observant than he’d always thought. Maybe Jaemin had been feeding him information when he was awake and Doyoung and Yuta not around. Jaemin could read auras, after all. Doyoung had the creeping feeling Jaemin already knew everything he was trying so hard to suppress.

The trip to the foot of the mountain didn’t take as long as it had two days before. After all, they now knew where they had to go and were able to travel in one straight line to their destination. Doyoung knew the path would be less than pleasant to walk up further up the mountain, but in the beginning it was pretty easy, and the first two hours they met multiple small villages. Doyoung prayed no one recognized him.

In the third village, there was a market and Yuta decided he wanted to look around. “I don’t want to get caught, Yuta,” Doyoung protested. “Most people in the kingdom know what I look like, and I’m not really to be considered a normal citizen.”

Yuta shot him a confused look, and Doyoung sighed and held him back before he could walk off into the busier streets. Not only did Yuta not seem to know his way around any of these places, Doyoung knew that once Yuta got out of his sight, he’d never be able to find him again. At least not easily, and not anytime soon. They didn’t have that much time to spare.

“I’ll definitely get caught if I just go in there like this,” Doyoung explained, and Yuta’s face lighted up. He rummaged through the bag he carried and took his hand out after a few seconds.

“I’ve been meaning to give you these,” he said, revealing a necklace and a few charms. “They’re protecting charms, they’ll keep you guarded.” Then he reached out to Doyoung and slipped the necklace over his head. The charm fell right in the middle of his chest.

Doyoung took a closer look at it. It was a simple circle with a few characters he couldn’t read engraved in it. Just wearing the charm gave him a secure feeling. It felt _safe._ Doyoung felt strangely touched by Yuta’s kind gesture, and he stroked over the characters a few times with his finger. Then he smiled down at Yuta and nodded. “Let’s go.”

Yuta’s smile widened even further, “Let’s go!”

Even before he had finished saying that, he was gone, and Doyoung ran after him, unable to repress an endeared smile. It was nice to see Yuta this excited and cheerful, especially compared to how Doyoung had seen him the day before; an exhausted wreck.

Doyoung had a hard time keeping up with Yuta, but he didn’t mind. It felt weird to say since he had no proof that they actually worked, but Doyoung felt protected with Yuta’s charms. He was unworriedly walking around and made sure to check where Yuta had ran off to every now and then.

When the stands started to pack up, Doyoung realized the amount of people in the marketplace had decreased considerably compared to when they got here. He walked up to Yuta, who was motionless, leaning over a stand with objects Doyoung didn’t recognize. Yuta did seem to, and he pointed out one to the vendor and payed. Then he turned around, and immediately spotted Doyoung.

“You ready to continue?” he asked when he was in hearing distance, and Doyoung smiled.

“You got everything you needed?” he asked in lieu of a response. Yuta nodded and smiled, and they continued their travel.

About an hour, they took a break. Doyoung had never been further up than this, but he knew a quite steep part followed, that again followed by another village. After the village were woods against a less steep slope before it got steeper again, the hardest part being the part closest to the top. They’d have to pass the first steep part before it got too dark, and Doyoung figured it’d be best to stay at the village after that. It would be foolish to continue and get stranded somewhere in the middle of the woods.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the steeper part, and to Doyoung’s panic he realized it was getting darker already. Doyoung wasn’t bad on rougher terrains, per say. No one was supposed to be good with rough terrains _in the dark._

(Not exactly to Doyoung’s surprise) Yuta seemed to be the only exception to that. He easily found his way over the rocks and bumps in the path, easily climbing and jumping over bumps. Doyoung, opposite of that, was basically crawling over the bigger rocks and placed one foot in front of the other so carefully one looking in from the outside might think he was intoxicated.

Finally, Yuta noticed Doyoung was ways behind him, and he turned back. “Are we nearly there?” Doyoung asked. If anyone asked he would without a doubt deny the whiny tone of his voice. Yuta just chuckled, and reached out a hand. Doyoung looked at it skeptically.

“What am I supposed to do with your hand?” he asked. A smirk began to grow on Yuta’s face, and Doyoung glared at him, bracing himself for the… _climb_ over the next rock.

Yuta just waved it in the air in front of Doyoung’s face again, and Doyoung grumbled, grabbing it in his. Yuta pulled and reached out with his other hand to balance him. Like that, he half hoisted, half lifted Doyoung over the rock. Doyoung couldn’t say he didn’t… appreciate it.

It started to really get dark, then, and Doyoung felt himself become more and more uncomfortable. Trees loomed over the narrow path, and he felt like he was being looked at from all different directions. Behind every tree could be someone. Behind every rock, someone else could be awaiting them. Yuta seemed unbothered, but Doyoung noticed that he was looking behind him every now and then as well.

Doyoung let out a sigh of relief when the lights of the village appeared in the distance. He wasn’t comfortable on the narrow, steep trail at all, and even Yuta who was so in his element before seemed to be getting restless. They were both tired, on top of that, after a long day. The events of that morning were nearly forgotten.

Nearly.

When they arrived, they immediately went to an inn and requested a room. The maid smiled and showed them a room. Doyoung felt a weight fall off his shoulders when he saw the room had two separate beds and dropped down on the closest bed right away.

“God, I’m exhausted,” Yuta said from the other side of the room. He had laid down on his bed as well, sprawled out like a starfish, occupying all the space the bed had to offer. His pillow was already discarded on the floor. “I’m going to bed straight away,” he added, and proceeded to sit up and start pulling off his cloak. Doyoung instinctively turned around, burying his face in his hands.

He really wasn’t imagining that. Yuta had been about to change right in front of Doyoung. “You’re good,” Yuta said a minute later. “You can turn back around.”

Doyoung huffed and, with great effort, pushed himself to sit up as well. He couldn’t just fall asleep in his clothes either. He quickly changed and crawled under the thick blanket, exhausted as well.

“Good night,” he murmured, hoping Yuta heard him. A hum that sounded similar could be heard vaguely from the other side of the room. Smiling to himself, Doyoung turned around again and got settled.

When he was about to fall asleep, restless rustling from where Yuta’s bed was shook him awake again. “Hey, Doie?” Yuta said, voice uncharacteristically shy.

Doyoung groaned. He was tired. He just wanted to sleep. Had been about to fall asleep. “What?” he grumbled with the full intent to let Yuta know he wasn’t happy to be woken up like this.

“Um… this morning. I- I didn’t go too far, right?”

Doyoung stilled. Yuta was asking if he didn’t go too far? Didn’t overstep Doyoung’s boundaries, when he’d just been teasing like usual? By the seriousness in Yuta’s voice, however sleepy, Doyoung knew he wasn’t teasing now. He meant it. He was worried about having crossed a line. Doyoung felt strangely touched, and his heart did weird things.

“I mean… when I said I liked it? I wasn’t lying, don’t misunderstand,” he said, and Doyoung choked out a nervous laugh. _He liked it._ “I thought about it and I realized that might’ve been a bit too much,” Yuta continued. “Maybe you- maybe it’s uncomfortable for you, and I shouldn’t have joked about it.”

“No, I’m-” Doyoung hurried to say, “don’t worry. I was… well. I was a little bit uncomfortable, if I’m completely honest, but not in a negative way.”

Yuta chuckled, the sound a bit raspy because of the obvious tiredness in his voice. “What does that even mean?”

“I liked it too, okay? Well, not like that, but… I didn’t mind it. I don’t care. So don’t worry,” Doyoung stuttered out, turning his back to Yuta determinedly even though they couldn’t see each other anyway. “Now please, for the love of God and all things holy, go to sleep. You’re tired, and so am I.”

“Mind doing it again?” Yuta asked with a teasing tone, and Doyoung rolled his eyes, once more a fond smile on his face.

“Yes I do. Sleep,” he said resolutely. He only heard a soft “okay” from the other side of the room, and not long after the only audible sound was slow, deep breathing from the now obviously asleep Yuta.

Doyoung didn’t immediately fall asleep after that. Yuta wouldn’t get out of his mind, wouldn’t stop appearing in his thoughts right when he was about to fall asleep. He could never find out Doyoung actually kind of _liked_ his teasing remarks. Doyoung would be ruined.

Yuta had a sharp tongue and new exactly, somehow, how to rile Doyoung up. Yet, it appeared, in the end he worried about possibly overstepping boundaries or making Doyoung uncomfortable. It showed Doyoung once more just how much Yuta cared for the people around him, and it both warmed his heart and made it beat faster.

 _Yuta is a dangerous man_ , was the last thing he thought before he finally fell asleep. _And he himself doesn’t even know the full extent of it._


	10. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, busy with school and writing fests. enjoy~

Doyoung was awoken by bright sunlight shining right in his eyes, and he mumbled out a sling of swear words. Whoever had opened that curtain… Grumbling to himself, he turned around and snuggled back into his pillow.

Whoever thought it would be acceptable to open the curtain for the sun to shine right where he was sleeping, _peacefully,_ apparently also thought shaking him awake was a good idea. Doyoung didn’t agree.

He swung his arm out behind himself with a low whine, satisfied when his hand hit something hard. That should do it. He whined once more when the shaking continued, and after another full minute of trying to ignore it, he forced himself to sit upright. Through barely opened eyes, he managed to send a glare to the offender.

Yuta didn’t seem all too intimidated by Doyoung’s majestic morning looks, nor by his glare, judging from the chuckles he let out. Doyoung was tempted to just stick his tongue out at him and let himself fall back onto the mattress, but then he noticed Yuta was fully dressed. Suddenly, the whole purpose of their trip and why he was there came back to him, and he scrambled to get out of bed.

It took him another ten minutes of splashing ice-cold water on his face to fully wake up, and he quickly dressed himself. It seemed Yuta had already went into town to buy them some food, and after paying the hostess, they took off again.

“Finally awake, sleeping beauty?” Yuta asked a few minutes after they left the village behind them. Doyoung just hummed. Inside the village, surrounded by homes and shops and other people, he had been fine, but they were quickly approaching the denser part of the forest, on the less steep part of the mountain.

The uneasy feeling that had creeped upon Doyoung at the ending of the day before came back full force. Maybe even stronger. Doyoung was not relaxed, and he was dreading having to go in the forest. Anyone or anything could be hiding behind each and every tree, and the thick overhanging foliage didn’t make the forest seem any friendlier.

Doyoung couldn’t quite explain the feeling. It was similar to earlier, but this time Yuta didn’t seem as bothered as he did the day before. Was Doyoung just imagining it? Was Yuta even bothered before, or was the paranoia getting to him?

The forest slowly became more and more dense, until the foliage was so thick that it kept out most of the sunlight. It wasn’t completely dark, of course. It was still midday, and the sun was stronger than some leaves. Still, it was darker than Doyoung would’ve liked. Again, it wasn’t exactly _dark,_ but due to the lack of sunlight there were barely shadows. Doyoung had been counting on shadows to betray potential people or animals hiding behind trees, but that possibility had flown out of the window by now.

Doyoung was extremely uncomfortable, and it seemed irrational, but his back was _burning._ Metaphorically, of course. It felt like a thousand needles had been stuck in his skin, or a whole crowd of people who wanted him dead was right behind him. He didn’t dare turn around to actually look behind him.

Then, it got too much, and at an open spot between the trees, Doyoung pulled on Yuta’s sleeve. Yuta came to a halt and shot Doyoung a curious look. “What’s up?” he asked, voice concerned. Doyoung bet he could see exactly how tense and nervous Doyoung was. Even in the open spot, he felt looked at from all directions. Vulnerable.

“We’re being watched,” he blurted out, a bit louder than he wanted, and Yuta quickly shushed him. Then, Yuta urged him to keep walking with a stealthy look behind them, and followed him.

“I’m glad you feel it too,” Yuta said in a hushed voice. “It’s been like this since yesterday afternoon, I think. I doubt that whoever it is has anything less than malicious intent, or they wouldn’t stay hidden.”

Yuta’s words confirmed all of Doyoung’s fears. Someone was following them, had been since the day before, and was after them. In a not so positive way. Just their luck.

“My best bet is that someone recognized you, and that it’s you they want,” Yuta continued quietly, looking as casual as possible. On one hand, Doyoung was glad he wasn’t just being paranoid and that Yuta didn’t think he was just being dumb. On the other, he was terrified. He just managed to hold himself back from shaking. It wouldn’t help them at all. The idea that someone could be after him, in specific, did however cause a shiver to go down his spine.

He was in danger, and here they were. In a dense forest where literally anything could happen at any moment.

Doyoung was pulled out of his worrying by Yuta slinging an arm over his shoulder. Then, he brought his face closer to Doyoung’s, and Doyoung had to hold back another shiver when he started speaking softly in Doyoung’s ear.

“I doubt they’ll be nice and wait until we’re in an area where we could defend ourselves or get away better, so we have to be alert. They could come out at any time, but I have a plan. Do you still have those charms I gave you?”

Doyoung nodded slowly and pulled the necklaces out from under his tunic. Yuta looked at them for a few seconds and then nodded, and Doyoung put them back. Yuta had a sweet smile on his face, and Doyoung forced himself to keep his eyes on the road ahead of them.

“Alright. In a few minutes we’re going to stop for only a few seconds, and I’m going to… well, unload energy and magic onto you. You okay with that?”

At that, Doyoung’s head snapped to the side, facing Yuta with an incredulous look. “You’ll perform magic on _me?_ “ Doyoung hissed. “And unloading? Won’t that cost you too much energy?”

“It’s our best option,” Yuta explained hurriedly, “yes, it’ll cost me energy, but I’ll be careful not to spend _too_ much. If you channel it well enough, you’ll be invisible to any untrained eye. We’re out of luck if the person following you knows magic, but I doubt it. If they did, they would’ve used it and attacked hours ago. Try to hold onto it, and they won’t be able to see you. Then you can get away and hide until we’re safe.”

Doyoung was stunned. Yuta was offering Doyoung part of his energy, so Doyoung could go invisible and slip away to safety. “But what about you?” Doyoung asked. He was instantly annoyed by the high pitch of his voice, but honestly he didn’t care. He couldn’t let Yuta sacrifice any more than he already had for him.

Yuta shushed him again and laid a reassuringly warm hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. “I’m strong, believe me. I was one of the best students, and I know how to manage my energy well. Giving you my energy doesn’t mean I’ll be completely out of it. I’ll still have some left for defensive magic, if bad came to worse.”

Doyoung still wasn’t convinced, but he trusted Yuta. He wasn’t comfortable with having to leave Yuta behind at all, but if Yuta said he was strong enough and would be fine by himself, Doyoung had no other choice than to believe him.

They walked a few meters further, until Yuta was the one grabbing Doyoung’s sleeve, this time, and he didn’t give Doyoung another second to speak. Instead, he stepped closer, and pressed their foreheads together. Yuta closed his eyes, but Doyoung couldn’t bring himself to when he had Yuta this close to him.

“Focus on me,” Yuta whispered, eyes still closed, and Doyoung could feel the energy brewing. _Focus on Yuta._ Doyoung inwardly scoffed at his own pathetic self. That wouldn’t be too hard.

If anyone were to ask him later what exactly the magic felt like, he wouldn’t be able to describe it. This time around, he wasn’t on the outside looking at Yuta’s aura, swirling around him like tiny dancers, wisps of red smoke-like air engulfing him. No, this time around, he was part of the magic.

Before, he had felt the power of Yuta’s energy, from several meters away. Now, it felt like he was in the eye of a hurricane, one with bright colors and deep breaths and power and magic and _Yuta._ It was surreal. Beautiful.

Doyoung had romantic feelings for Yuta.

***

The realization, Doyoung thought later, when they were on their way again, was quite anticlimactic. If he had to be honest, it had been coming for days, despite only having been around Yuta for a week. Doyoung bet it was the vulnerability they were forced to allow the other to show. It broke down their walls right from the get-go, made them extremely connected in ways anyone else wouldn’t be able to imagine.

Doyoung had romantic feelings for Yuta, and that was that. He couldn’t specify whether it was just liking or loving, but it was there, and there was no way around it.

It was dangerous. Especially with their arrangements. Yuta would leave, Doyoung would become king, no matter what Jeno and Jaemin chose to do. Doyoung could never pursue Yuta, nor could he express it. But, he decided, he could at least allow himself to feel. At least for now. He wouldn’t have long, anyway.

The thought struck him that after this, he’d never have to think about Yuta again.

Immediately after, Doyoung knew it was just wistful thinking, but he ignored it. He didn’t really have another option. While thinking about Yuta, Doyoung momentarily forgot about the looming danger, and let himself relax and enjoy the beauty of the forest.

Until, after a while, Yuta suddenly stiffened up completely. His eyes were wide, his body unmoving. Doyoung stopped as well, and then he felt it. “Concentrate the energy,” Yuta murmured, not looking in Doyoung’s direction. “Focus all of it into invisibility. You have to believe it. Now go.”

Doyoung hesitated for one more second, until he saw the seriousness in Yuta’s eyes. He closed his own eyes for a second, then nodded. “Stay safe,” he said, and ran. He ran, and ran, for minutes straight, just aside of the path. He was too scared to look behind or around him. He didn’t want to see anything. No traps, no people. Just safety, and Yuta.

He had to have faith in Yuta. Had to trust in his abilities, that he’d be able to hold on. Just to be sure he wouldn’t be spotted if the energy ever happened to wane off, he climbed (not without some struggle, but he felt somehow strengthened by Yuta’s tangible energy) to the top of a tree way ahead of Yuta. He made sure not to lose sight of the path Yuta would undoubtedly walk over.

It felt like an eternity when he saw Yuta approaching in the distance. When he got closer, Doyoung saw it. Shadows, only meters behind them, barely visible due to the low lighting. He suppressed a shiver. Had they been that close all the time?

The shadows got closer with increasing speed, and Doyoung hoped they were this close only now. If they’d been at this small of a distance the whole time, chances were extremely high they’d seen Doyoung slip away. Doyoung kept almost impossibly still on his spot up in the tree, unable to keep his eyes off Yuta.

The shadows jumped out from behind the trees, and Doyoung had to pinch himself to not yell out a warning to Yuta, who was now probably no more than 50 meters away from Doyoung’s tree. No, he couldn’t say or do anything than watch and hope Yuta got out fine. It pained him, but he had to. He had to believe he was both invisible and hidden, he couldn’t give himself away and waste all of Yuta’s efforts to keep him safe.

With all of his limbs tensed up and mind racing miles per second, Doyoung could only watch as a group of four heavily armed men jumped Yuta from behind. Two got behind him and held him so he couldn’t move without getting a knife through his spine, the other two posing threateningly before him. Doyoung leaned the slightest bit forward in an attempt to pick up what they were saying.

It turned out he didn’t need to, as the men were rough and loud and unashamed of nearly yelling. They probably knew no one would even think of bothering them and knew they could do whatever they wanted without getting caught.

At least, so they thought. Doyoung made sure to remember their faces, or as much as he could see from this distance, so he could make sure they were punished severely later. Not even only because they were after him. Doyoung knew he would never forgive them, _any_ of them, if Yuta got hurt even the tiniest bit. Doyoung was currently in possession of all Yuta’s power. He wouldn’t be able to do anything magical to defend himself.

“Where’s the prince?” one of them exclaimed, and all Doyoung and Yuta’s earlier suspicions proved to be correct. They were after him. Doyoung hoped Yuta could convince them he wasn’t with Yuta. He even more hoped Yuta would be able to stay safe.

“What prince?” Doyoung just barely heard Yuta say, and warmth swelled in him. Yuta sounded shocked by the attack, which was logical but most likely staged. “I don’t interact with royalty,” Yuta added, and Doyoung waited with anticipation for the reactions of the men.

It wasn’t pretty. The taller of the two in front of Yuta swung, and Doyoung could almost feel Yuta’s pain at the strike that landed harshly on Yuta’s cheek. Doyoung had never been this glad to not be able to hear anything, but he cursed himself for choosing to hide here of all places, where he was just able to see Yuta’s head turn to the side with the force of the blow. He remained in that position for a while, and Doyoung feared the hit had been strong enough to knock Yuta out. He held back from biting his nails and breathed out a deep sigh of relief when Yuta shook his head and turned his face to the front again.

“What was that good for?” he spat, and Doyoung could imagine the fierce look on Yuta’s face, and he felt his heart swell. Then, the shorter pulled a knife, and Doyoung closed his eyes. If Yuta got stabbed… Seeing it happen in front of his eyes would follow him forever. He couldn’t bear seeing that.

“Please put that away,” he then heard Yuta yell, but he didn’t open his eyes. “Please, I didn’t lie, I swear! I don’t know any prince!”

“Then who was the man you were with yesterday, in the village?” the one who had spoken the most hissed out just loud enough for Doyoung to hear. He was glad the forest was quiet, save for some sounds the wind through the leaves inevitably made.

“I have no idea!” Yuta yelled out, “he never told me his name. He just said he wanted someone to travel up to the village with, I have no idea where he went this morning.” Doyoung was surprised to see the air around Yuta thickening. Weak and thin strings of blue swirled slowly, and Doyoung knew Yuta was bewitching them. Doyoung wanted to get out of the tree, run up to Yuta and knock out all the men himself.

A stinging pain of nearly uncontrollable fear struck Doyoung. He felt it in his bones, body completely frozen up. The only thing on his mind was Yuta, Yuta, _Yuta._

He wanted to yell at Yuta not to use any magic, wanted to yell at the men for daring to bother sweet, self-sacrificial Yuta. Yuta was using up the last bit of energy he had left, and Doyoung doubted he’d be able to give any of the energy Yuta had given him back. He wanted Yuta to stop using up his magic, right _now,_ but he couldn’t. He would betray his hiding place, and all would be a waste. Doyoung was powerless, and had no other option than to watch as Yuta slowly drained himself.

Luckily, after maybe another minute of Yuta trying to convince them he didn’t know Doyoung, the men let go and ran off in the opposite direction. It took another minute for the swirling energy to die down completely, and Doyoung had to watch Yuta crumble into a measly pile of human-witch.

Doyoung waited another painstakingly slow minute, until he was sure the men weren’t anywhere in sight, and he let himself fall out of the tree. He had barely landed on his feet before he was already running. He skidded to a stop at Yuta’s limp body, and pressed his ear to Yuta’s chest.

His heart was still beating. He was alive. He wasn’t completely drained, yet. Doyoung got an idea and quickly took off the charms Yuta had given him and laid them on Yuta’s body. Yuta was unconscious, though, and Doyoung sat back on his heels. He had no idea what to do. He had never felt so powerless before. All he could do was sit back, Yuta’s hands clasped tightly in his own, and wait until Yuta opened his eyes again.

It felt like hours, and the sun was about to go down, when Yuta finally stirred. Immediately, Doyoung was sat upright, and he felt like crying as he slowly helped Yuta sit up. Yuta took his hands out of Doyoung’s and clutched his head, groaning in pain. “Christ,” he mumbled, “that guy had a good hook.”

The ridiculousness of the statement made the tears finally slip out of Doyoung’s eyes, and he felt a painfully strong urge to kiss Yuta. He couldn’t, so instead, he let them fall and tightly wrapped his arms around Yuta’s shoulders, cradling his head to his chest. Yuta seemed surprised for a second, but then one arm curled around his waist, and Doyoung couldn’t hold back a sob.

“Are you insane?” he cried out, gently swaying from side to side. He felt Yuta’s face scrunch up on his chest, and the arm around his waist tightened. “You seriously have a problem, Yuta. You could’ve died! What were you thinking?”

Yuta just smiled, and Doyoung felt the movement through his clothes. A small shiver went down his spine, and he pressed his face into Yuta’s hair. Yuta’s finger softly stroked his waist, and he felt Yuta shrug. “I’d protect you with my life, I told you. Or maybe I didn’t. But I swear it. I would lay down my life if it meant you’d be safe.”

More tears slipped from Doyoung’s eyes, and Doyoung couldn’t hold it back anymore. He pulled back to wipe his eyes and nose, then pressed a quick kiss into Yuta’s hair. Yuta didn’t react. Doyoung hoped he hadn’t felt it. Either way, Doyoung was in trouble. He didn’t want to say it in fear of confirming it, but he definitely had strong feelings for Yuta. Stronger than anticipated, and stronger than allowed and possible to resist.

He ignored his thoughts, for now, and stood up, already missing the feeling of having Yuta in his arms. He eyed Yuta’s arm that had been around his waist, his hand now uselessly dragging on the forest floor. Doyoung shook his head. They couldn’t _be_.

“You’re absolutely insane,” Doyoung repeated, sending Yuta a bright smile through his tears. He wiped his nose with his sleeve in a quick move and held his hand out for Yuta to grab. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave something if you liked it!


	11. 7-6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops

They continued on their way, making sure to leave the forest as quickly as possible. That wasn’t very quickly, though. Yuta could barely stand on his own and Doyoung was almost entirely sure it was because of his extreme lack of energy. So, Doyoung was supporting Yuta’s weight, and it made that they were able to move a lot slower than they wanted to.

Nonetheless, they managed to make it out of the forest without anyone else sneaking up on them. However, it had gotten almost completely dark when they got back on the steep, small path, and Doyoung knew they wouldn’t make it very far. Especially with the poor condition Yuta was in.

Still, they tried their best to get as far as possible, until the path got too steep and there was still nothing like a village or cottage in sight. Doyoung helped Yuta sit down, and for a few seconds, they just looked at each other. Yuta looked like he had aged ten years in the past three hours, and it pained Doyoung. He quickly turned his eyes away.

“So,” Yuta said, voice impossibly soft, “we’ll need to find a place to stay the night, and fast. I say we try to find a cave somewhere, and I’ll make a fire with what magic I have left for now, and we’ll have to hope nothing bad happens or… finds us.”

Doyoung turned his eyes to the rocks under his feet. A cave. Finding one shouldn’t be too hard. This area should have enough. What Doyoung wasn’t so happy about, was Yuta saying he’d use magic. Again. Even more of it.

“I’ll find us a cave and make a fire, you stay right here,” he then said. He hoped Yuta could make up from his stance and tone of voice that Doyoung wanted no arguments, no objections, no discussion. It was his time to take care of Yuta, now. For once.

Like he’d expected, finding a cave was a piece of cake. There was one, a bit away from the path, only a few minutes walking further, and it seemed big enough. Doyoung thanked all deities up in the sky for letting him remember how to make a fire, and with a torch he carefully walked inside to check for animals possibly residing inside. When he deemed the cave safe enough, he made the fire bigger and went back to help Yuta to the cave.

Yuta seemed to be on the brink of losing consciousness when Doyoung got back, and he hurried to lift Yuta from the rock he was sitting on, almost fully carrying him back to the cave. Inside, Yuta immediately slumped against the wall of the cave, and he drowsily blinked, eyes slowly adjusting to the brightness of the fire.

“You already made a fire,” he remarked, “I could’ve done it for you.”

Doyoung shook his head and scoffed. “You can barely sit upright, Yuta. Don’t even try.”

He took the bag Yuta was still clutching tightly in his hands (god, why was he so stubborn) and took out the water and bread they had saved up for the night. Handing some to Yuta to eat, he stripped himself of his upper robe and tied it together to form a long pillow. Should be more comfortable to rest their heads on than stones, or the hard ground.

Yuta quietly finished the water and bread Doyoung had handed him, and Doyoung was relieved to see his face at least wasn’t as ungodly pale as before. “Please rest,” Doyoung pleaded as Yuta moved to stand up. He placed his hands on Yuta’s shoulders, gently urging him to lie down. “I’ll keep watch. It’s fine.”

Yuta begrudgingly took the pillow Doyoung had shoved at his chest and lied down, instantly curling up. It took maybe ten seconds for his breathing to slow down, and Doyoung was satisfied when he didn’t move for a minute straight. Yuta was in a deep, much-deserved sleep, and Doyoung would take care of him for the night. It was the least he could do, after what Yuta did for him.

Subconsciously, his hands went to the charmed amulets he still wore around his neck, gently cradling them in his palms. Yuta was seriously incredible. And incredibly stupid, but amazing. Doyoung would be a fool not to fall in love with Yuta. It had simply been unavoidable.

While Yuta had been unconscious, Doyoung waiting for him to wake up, earlier that day, his mind had gone absolutely crazy. A million thoughts interrupted a million others, every few seconds. The one thing he kept coming back to was _fuck, I love him so much._

It was strange. Doyoung had always read fairytales and stories about knights courting their favorite ladies for months, sometimes even years, with the moral being true love always prevailing in the end of the story. Doyoung loved Yuta as much as those knights loved their ladies, but the time they’d known each other was nowhere near the months and years he had always deemed necessary. To get to know each other. To properly learn to trust the other and convey the feelings you had properly.

It had taken Yuta only a week to completely and utterly steal Doyoung’s heart, smash it to pieces and ruin him for anybody else he might ever meet after Yuta left.

He had had thoughts that it might just be a sudden obsession. Mindless infatuation, just because in this story, the witch was the good guy. Because they’d spent so much time of that week together. Because Yuta had saved his life.

Doyoung now knew one thing: it was no simple infatuation, nor a simple crush. Yuta had completely invaded his mind, heart and soul, literally. Maybe it was the magic that tied them so closely together, maybe they were just meant to be. Doyoung almost scoffed out loud at the second. No, it was only Doyoung feeling this way. But that didn’t matter. He had Yuta with him, and in the end, that was enough.

Involuntarily, after a few hours of staring in the fire, occasionally sneaking glances over to a still peacefully sleeping Yuta, Doyoung sunk into a deep sleep as well.

***

Doyoung knew something was different the second his eyes opened. Still half asleep, he turned his head, only to hit it against a rock. He held back a curse and winced. He noticed he was covered by something. Doyoung frowned. He remembered giving his robe to Yuta as pillow, so what was he covered with? Then he noticed his head was lying on the makeshift pillow, and he turned his head a bit more to look at where Yuta lied.

Was lying. He was gone. In a frenzy, Doyoung turned his head to the fire, and he mentally cursed himself when the memories of the previous night came back to him. He’d sworn to stay awake and watch over Yuta, but only a few hours in he fell asleep himself.

Slowly, he turned around, only to see Yuta, sitting at the fire. Without his cloak. Doyoung’s eyes turned to the blanket draped over him, and now that he was more awake, he instantly noticed it was Yuta’s cloak. Once more turning back to Yuta, he saw Yuta was shivering. He slowly sat up and scooted over to Yuta’s side, relaxing there, with the cloak wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

“Good morning,” he slurred out, embarrassed at the sleepiness clear in his voice. “Why do I have your cloak?”

Yuta shot him a sideway glance with a small smile. Then he turned back to the bag he was rummaging through. “You were shivering when I woke up, even though you were close to the fire. And you didn’t have anything, stupid. You gave your robe to me, remember?”

Doyoung nodded. Through a haze he registered berries and bread lying a bit away from him. The smell of meat hit his nose, and he saw a small roasted bird lay next to it. “Thank you,” he murmured, reaching out for the food. As he was slowly eating the meat he assumed Yuta had prepared, he noticed Yuta was curled up into his clothes.

Doyoung gathered his last bits of courage and scooted even closer. He opened the cloak he had wrapped around his shoulders, and draped one end of it over Yuta’s shoulder, then grabbed the end. Yuta shot him a strange look Doyoung didn’t want to try to decipher, so he turned his attention back on the food.

“I assume you prepared this?” he asked when he was finished, still not looking at Yuta. He felt the nod Yuta gave in response before his spoken reply got through to Doyoung’s half-asleep brain.

“So…” Doyoung said, trailing off uncertainly in the end, “you’re re-energized already? I mean- are you good to go? You looked absolutely terrible yesterday.”

Yuta chuckled. “Thanks,” he said, leaning some more of his weight on Doyoung in a friendly nudge. “Great to know you think so highly of my looks. But yes, I’m better now. Magic regenerates quickly, I just needed some food and a good night’s rest, which I got thanks to you. So thank you for taking care of me.”

Doyoung instantly felt his cheeks flush, and he turned his head away from Yuta. “It’s the least I could do. You almost gave your _life_ for me yesterday. Which reminds me, don’t you dare ever doing anything that crazy again.”

Yuta just smiled and turned to Doyoung, their knees bumping. The feeling sent a tingle up Doyoung’s spine, but he ignored it. It wasn’t like Yuta’s smile alone already did enough to his heart. “I would do it within a heartbeat if that meant you got out safe. And that reminds _me_ of something. Come a bit closer?”

Doyoung narrowed his eyes at Yuta’s words, about to object, when Yuta laid his hands on Doyoung’s shoulders and turned his body around, so he had no other choice but to properly face Yuta. The serious look in Yuta’s eyes threw Doyoung off for a second. Then Yuta pulled Doyoung a bit closer, their legs touching now.

Yuta closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but Doyoung, much like two days before, when Yuta had pulled Doyoung close and put protective charms on him, couldn’t close his eyes. It seemed appropriate, but having Yuta this close to his simply demanded and called for all of Doyoung’s attention.

Now who was he to not listen to that?

Like before, Yuta rested his forehead on Doyoung’s and started chanting softly. His voice was nearly a whisper. Doyoung assumed Yuta didn’t notice it himself, but his hands moved up to cup Doyoung’s face, and with the safety of knowing Yuta’s eyes were closed, Doyoung gave himself a few seconds to really _look_ at Yuta’s face, and found himself tracing his features with his eyes.

All Doyoung could think was _beautiful._ He almost laughed at himself, thinking back to only a few days ago, when he thought everything Yuta said and did was annoying and obnoxious. If only he’d known he’d fall this deep, this fast. Things really changed in a split second. Other than the fact that Yuta would leave again, Doyoung didn’t really mind much.

“Could you concentrate for one damn second?” Yuta grumbled, pulling Doyoung out of his thoughts. He quickly closed his eyes, his heartbeat speeding up in his chest. He knew Yuta could only read auras, and only with Jaemin’s assistance, not minds, but he still felt busted. Caught in the act, somehow.

“Sorry,” he whispered, the air crackling between them. Yuta’s hands moved up a bit more, his hands behind Doyoung’s neck and his thumbs on his cheeks. Doyoung hoped he wouldn’t blush. Not too bad, at least. It was impossible to not be flustered at all when way more body parts than necessary were touching. Their knees and thighs, their foreheads, Doyoung’s hands on Yuta’s knees, Yuta’s hands carefully cradling Doyoung’s face, eyes closed, air tight and hot between them.

Yuta started chanting again, and it felt strangely intimate. After a little while, Yuta slowed down, and his voice got, if possible, even softer and lower, and all at once Doyoung felt like he needed to get out. He needed to get some distance between them, couldn’t handle the intimacy and proximity for any longer. He felt choked up, the air hot and stifling, and he lifted his hands to frantically push at Yuta’s chest.

“I think that’s enough,” he said, voice too loud and abrupt to sound natural. Yuta, however, didn’t say anything, but moved back slowly, letting his cloak drop off his shoulder.

“I’ll- I’m going up. I saw some herbs I could use when I was out this morning, and I doubt I’ll need long to find the one we came up here for,” Yuta explained, standing up, voice rushed. Doyoung didn’t look at Yuta, and instead started unwrapping his own robe to put on again.

“Alright,” Doyoung said, “I- I’ll wait here.”

The air felt stiff, and Doyoung didn’t like it. Yuta looked nervous, which was a look Doyoung didn’t like on him. He looked like how he had sounded the night before, when he asked Doyoung in the dark if he hadn’t possibly overstepped any boundaries. He hadn’t, and Doyoung wanted him to know that.

He didn’t know how to say it without making things even more awkward, since the discomfort he suddenly felt during Yuta’s charming was completely his own fault. At least, that seemed logical. It wasn’t Yuta’s, that was for sure. Doyoung knew he’d have to explain himself, and he had no idea how.

“I’ll be back,” Yuta said, and before he could leave Doyoung grabbed his hand to halt him, heart beating in his throat.

“Be careful, alright?” Doyoung said, allowing the worry to seep through in his voice. “We don’t know if the men from yesterday are still anywhere. Maybe they saw me with you after that. They know your face now, as well. You were in a really bad state yesterday, and I know that was because of me, but- please be careful.”

It was quiet for a while, and Doyoung feared it was _him_ who had overstepped his boundaries for a hot minute, but then he felt a quick squeeze on his hand. Yuta smiled at him, then let go of Doyoung’s hand. “I’ll be back soon.”

Doyoung trusted Yuta. Really, he did. He just couldn’t shake the bad feeling that still clung onto him, and he wasn’t even sure if it was just for Yuta anymore. Yuta left the cave, and Doyoung shook his head. Yuta would be back. He’d be fine. He had put charms on Doyoung again, but Doyoung had felt a lot less energy from Yuta than the day before. Without Doyoung keeping all of Yuta’s energy with him, Yuta was more than capable of defending himself.

Doyoung stood up as well, shaking Yuta’s cloak off and tidying it. Then he turned to the fire and put it out and continued to re-organize the objects and herbs Yuta had taken with him and for some reason laid out inside the cave. They hadn’t taken much with them, though, and Doyoung was finished in no time.

All he had left to do was wait. Waiting often meant thinking. Or in Doyoung’s case, either organizing or _over_ thinking.

After roughly two hours, Doyoung had imagined the worst possible scenarios when he finally saw Yuta approach the cave again. He let out a relieved sigh, and walked up to Yuta, their bags ready. He handed Yuta his cloak to put on again and, in the meantime, carefully gave the herbs a place in Yuta’s bag. Without another word they turned around and started their way down.

“So,” Doyoung asked after a few minutes, “you found everything you needed? We can go back and finish the cure?”

Yuta nodded, and Doyoung smiled. He kind of liked going outside and walking around with Yuta, but he couldn’t forget why Yuta had come here in the first place; to heal Jeno. Now that they had finally found and gathered all needed _physical_ ingredients, they could start with the real work and actually start the bigger parts of the cure.

Doyoung couldn’t wait for Jeno to be healthy again. It was the one thing he looked forward to, in the near future. He’d try to not think too much about how Jeno’s health meant Yuta’s departure. They had a few more days together, and Doyoung would try his hardest to make the most out of them.

“Let’s go slow,” Yuta then said, “we’ve been under enough stress. I- back at the castle, they’ll be fine for a bit longer.”

Doyoung pulled up one eyebrow. “You can say you just want to spend more time with me,” he said, faking a haughty tone, and laughed when Yuta shot him a mocking look. “No, I agree. A lot has happened. Taking it a bit slow is fine. It’s not like we really hurried much on the way here, and it’s still early. We’ll easily make it back to the village before evening even falls, we won’t have to hurry at all.”

Yuta nodded, satisfied, and they continued on their way, casually chatting about anything they could come up with. Doyoung couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling, though, and it annoyed him. He’d hoped it would be gone when the men left Yuta, but it was back. He wasn’t afraid, this time, though.

The discomfort was a different kind of discomfort. He didn’t have the feeling people were looking at him, or that he or Yuta were in danger. It was more of an irrational worry, or fear. Like something terrible was about to happen. Something neither he or Yuta would be able to stop.

An hour later, the feeling hadn’t let off, and when Yuta suddenly stiffened on the path, his eyes wide, Doyoung’s entire body grew cold as ice. He was filled with dread as Yuta slowly turned to look Doyoung in the eyes, and by the fear that oozed off Yuta’s expression and stance proved Doyoung’s earlier worries right.

Something was wrong. Terribly, awfully wrong. And-

“Jaemin is in distress,” Yuta breathed out, and Doyoung didn’t need to know anything more. They shared one more look, and then they were hurrying down the path, equally desperate to get back to the castle as quickly as they could. A random, unexpected sign of distress, strong enough to alert Yuta, could only mean one thing.

Something was terribly wrong with Jeno.


	12. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops pt.2? sorry :)

Doyoung was running. He was sure somewhere behind him Yuta had to be as well, but if he had to be honest he wasn’t paying attention to anything right now. All he could focus on was the fastest way home, back to the castle. Back to Jeno.

Yuta hadn’t spoken a word after he said Jaemin was in distress, and Doyoung didn’t need him to. Doyoung didn’t know Jaemin very well, but what he did know was that, first of all, Jaemin was a cheerful person. Dog. Dog-person.

Second, he was supposed to be the calm one, who kept patients stable and kept everyone calm and comfortable. He read auras and controlled them, was the embodiment of everything sweet and pure. If he was in genuine distress, it meant he had no control, or less of it, over the patient’s aura. That was the first and major indicator for Doyoung to know the issue had to be Jeno.

Jeno was vulnerable, and even Yuta, who had treated more patients than Doyoung knew, had said Jeno was a special case who should be treated and handled with utmost care and precision. One small mistake in the cure they were preparing, and all would be for nothing. An unstable aura could be fatal for Jeno, Doyoung assumed.

He didn’t know the exact importance of auras but considering Yuta had made his diagnosis by looking at Jeno’s aura told him it had to be of pretty high importance.

Third of all, Doyoung was no idiot. He may have been inexperienced in romance, but even he could see Jaemin harbored strong affection towards Jeno, which Doyoung suspected was only strengthened through the bond that their auras had undoubtedly formed. Jaemin in distress could only mean there was something wrong with Jeno.

Doyoung was worried out of his mind. Throughout the months Jeno had been sick already, lousy doctors failing to cure him, he had seen Jeno on the brink of death multiple times. He had seen him stop breathing, only for it to pick up again a minute later, time after time. He had seen Jeno lose all body fat he had left, had seen him shivering while lifelessly laying sprawled out on the bed, completely wrapped up in blankets and hot water bottles. Nothing had helped.

Doyoung had said goodbye many times, both mentally and physically, fully expecting for Jeno to not wake up again the next morning. Every single time, he’d been proven both wrong and lucky, always managing to hang on by a thread, surviving.

This time, it wasn’t just some random doctor taking care of Jeno. It was a full-fledged witch, who was confident in his abilities, who had promised, even sworn to Doyoung he’d cure Jeno. Doyoung had trusted him with his life, and Yuta had proven multiple times he _could_ be trusted with someone’s life. So now that Yuta’s own familiar, who should have even more faith in his ‘master’ than Doyoung, who had only known him for about one and a half weeks, was in distress about Yuta’s patient, Doyoung was worried.

He’d been worried all the time, sure. He might’ve trusted Yuta, but when Jeno had seemed to be getting better, he had relaxed. Had enjoyed his time outside with Yuta, enjoyed the travel and walking and easy conversation and amazing company…

He had slacked off. Somehow, he had forgotten how dire the situation with Jeno really was, and he’d let himself enjoy Yuta instead. Doyoung couldn’t blame Yuta. He had only been doing his job, their travels all meant for Yuta to find the right (and right amount of) ingredients they needed for the cure. Or, better said, Yuta needed.

Doyoung had let himself get distracted from the purpose of Yuta’s stay, and had let his mind and emotions go wild for and because of Yuta. Was it Doyoung’s fault that Jaemin was in distress? That Jeno was in a terrible state, assumedly, possibly even… gone?

Had Doyoung slowed Yuta down? If Yuta hadn’t had to protect Doyoung, would he have been able to travel faster? Would he have been able to save energy, maybe spend less time out than they had?

Was it all Doyoung’s fault?

“Doyoung!” Yuta yelled out behind him, and a hand enclosed his arm tightly, yanking him backwards. Shocked and confused, Doyoung looked around him. After merely seconds, he saw the reason Yuta had pulled him back so harshly.

Just a few meters away, where Doyoung had been running to just seconds earlier, the path stopped. Inching closer, Doyoung was able to make out sharp rocks, the steep mountain incline going almost straight down into a valley Doyoung could barely even see the bottom of.

If Yuta hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve, with his mind occupied, ran straight off the edge. He would’ve, without a doubt, fallen to his death. Yuta had saved his life, once again.

Doyoung was wasting Yuta’s time.

Then, before he could do anything to stop the oncoming wave of emotions and tears, he turned back around to Yuta and burst out crying. All pent up frustration and stress and other emotions he’d been carefully hiding, suddenly unloaded, and Doyoung could only think of the first time he’d cried in front of Yuta.

Yuta pulled him even closer and let Doyoung rest his face on Yuta’s shoulder, Yuta then doing the same to Doyoung. Doyoung felt ashamed. This was, what, the third time he’d cried in front of Yuta? Usually, Doyoung wasn’t this emotional. He was usually a lot better at keeping his emotions in check, for he first of all didn’t have someone he trusted enough to unload them on, and secondly he didn’t want to burden anyone with his feelings.

Yuta however, somehow pulled them all out of him without even having to make an effort. Yuta made him feel comfortable, more comfortable than he’d felt in a long time with anyone who wasn’t Jeno. He even didn’t cry around Taeyong, no matter how comfortable they were together. Doyoung had lived a far easier life than Taeyong thus far, and while he did trust Taeyong, he didn’t want to burden Taeyong any further.

Somehow, Yuta made everything easier. Feeling, expressing himself, crying, being happy, _letting_ himself feel. All of it was easy with Yuta.

Thinking of Yuta, Doyoung realized through the haze of his own tears and embarrassingly loud and uncontrollable sobbing, that a wet spot had formed on his own shoulder. It shocked him. The only possible explanation for that was that Yuta was crying as well, but that seemed unimaginable.

“I’m so sorry,” Doyoung choked out, voice thick and raspy from crying. “It’s all my fault. I’m to blame, it’s my fault, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m-”

“Please stop,” Yuta replied in a sob, and suddenly Yuta crying didn’t feel so unimaginable anymore. Doyoung was surprised. Why was Yuta crying? Doyoung had caused him only problems, again and again, and had given him an almost impossible task. On top of that, Yuta had taken it upon himself to protect Doyoung, which made him only a bigger burden to Yuta.

Was he crying out of frustration? That seemed like the only logical explanation Doyoung could come up with. He’d cried out of frustration himself, before. Was Yuta maybe crying out of anger? That wouldn’t explain why Yuta was still holding onto Doyoung as tightly as he was, but it would explain the tears. He’d seen someone cry from anger before, the emotions simply too overwhelming.

Somewhere, deep inside, Doyoung hoped that was it. hoped Yuta would be mad at him, would curse him out, would either leave him behind on the mountain to fend for himself or take him back to the castle and not ever spare him a glance again. He hoped Yuta would hate him. He’d miss Yuta terribly, and he’d hate himself as much as Yuta did, but it’d make dealing with his hopeless, cursed feelings so much easier after Yuta’s departure.

He wished Yuta would punch him, take the protective charms off him, cure Jeno and leave the second Jeno was alright again. But, Doyoung knew this was only because he was a coward.

He was scared of what he’d have to deal with if the feelings remained after Yuta left. He was scared of the possibility of Yuta not hating him, was scared of what might happen if Doyoung became king but he couldn’t get Yuta out of his mind.

Yuta _was_ punching him, he then realized, balled fists hitting his arms and chest repeatedly. He gathered the courage to step back, take a careful look at Yuta. The way his face was scrunched up in emotion and his cheeks wet with shed tears made his chest feel like someone had slammed a stake right through his heart, and he was slowly bleeding out.

He’d made Yuta sad. For real.

The expression on Yuta’s face was, to Doyoung’s astonishment and confusion, not at all one of hate. Frustration, maybe, but not directed at Doyoung. Not in a spiteful way. _Why not? Wasn’t he supposed to hate Doyoung? He had no reason not to._

“You idiot,” Yuta yelled, landing a last punch that surprisingly didn’t hurt as much like it looked it would. Then, Yuta stepped closer again, once more pulling Doyoung into a tight embrace. The shock had stopped Doyoung’s tears. Relieved he could finally get his emotions back under control. Doyoung wiped his eyes and let Yuta hug him closer, closer, _closer._

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung repeated for what felt like the millionth time, and Yuta’s hands clenched and unclenched in the fabric of Doyoung’s tunic.

“Stop apologizing,” Yuta exclaimed, sounding like he was getting frustrated. “Stop apologizing when you have nothing to apologize for, Doyoung.”

The words almost made Doyoung tear up again, but this time he managed to keep it at bay. “What are you even talking about,” he sniffed, “everything is going wrong, and- I messed everything up, and I’m just slowing you down, I-”

“If anything, I’m the one who should apologize,” Yuta interrupted him harshly. “If I had done better, Jaemin wouldn’t be in distress. If I had focused more, I would’ve been able to make the cure go faster. If I had paid more attention, you wouldn’t have- you wouldn’t have… Doyoung, you almost died!”

“And it’s my fault,” Doyoung protested, “it’s not your job to make sure I don’t die wherever we go. I should’ve been careful, but I let myself get lost in my mind, I’m the one who- it’s _not_ your job, Yuta, and it will _never_ be your fault.”

“But it is my job!” Yuta exclaimed, slapping Doyoung on the back again. “It _is_ my fault. Doyoung, I promised I’d keep you safe and I meant it. If something happened to you while you were under my protection, I would’ve never been able to forgive myself. And not just because I promised. I care about you Doyoung, please just open your eyes and see that not everything is just a d _eal._ ”

Doyoung was stunned. He had fully expected Yuta to be mad at him, to hate him, to cuss at him and call off the deals they’d made, and here Yuta was, saying the exact opposite. Yuta… cared about him? As in, beyond Jeno, beyond their arrangement of Doyoung under Yuta’s care as his assistant?

Doyoung opened his mouth to speak, but Yuta held up a hand to shush him and continued. “Doyoung,” he said, and Doyoung couldn’t help but think about how nice his name sounded with Yuta’s voice, his light accent sounding through it.

“I understand that you’d have Jeno as first priority,” he then continued, “but no one will be able to do anything from this distance. I can’t perform magic on someone that far away, and Jaemin can’t do any at all other than soothing the aura, which won’t work if he himself is not calm. What I’m trying to say it… Doyoung, right now, _you_ are my main priority. I won’t be able to do anything for Jeno, so right now I value your life and safety more. Please just be careful.”

Doyoung opened his mouth again, but Yuta wasn’t done yet. “On those steeper parts, you can’t run safely. I used some magic to keep you from falling or hurting yourself, but at some point, I’ll run out before we even get to Jeno and you’ll exhaust yourself. Stop running, or we won’t even make it back.”

Doyoung swallowed the ball of nerves that felt like it was lodged up his throat and nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said once more, shaking his head when Yuta looked like he wanted to tell him off again. “I swear I am, let me apologize for this. I’m… I’ll try to think positive thoughts. I’m just… so scared we’ll get there and it’s- we’re too late.”

Yuta’s eyes softened in sympathy, and not for the first time Doyoung felt his eyes well up. He was overly emotional, and he hated it. Also, he really, really wished he could kiss Yuta. Those thoughts didn’t help much to ease his stress either.

Yuta pulled him into another hug, and Doyoung, despite all his worries, felt himself smile. “I promise I’ll do anything I can to heal Jeno and make everything better,” Yuta mumbled, the ‘for you’ left unspoken. Doyoung felt his heart swell up with affection, but he pushed it down. This was a terrible moment to feel mushy. They needed to hurry.

 

For the first two hours, Doyoung was doing pretty well with the happy thoughts. They’d reached the steepest parts, and there weren’t that many chances to think of anything else but where to place his feet, so he wouldn’t tumble down the path, or worse, stumble and fall off a ledge.

After those two hours, though, the sun had reached its highest point and the sky was clear, making it almost unbearably hot. They had just passed the village, and Doyoung knew they’d reach even grounds in a few more hours, which meant the slope of the hill had gotten way less steep.

That meant time for Doyoung’s brain to start overthinking again.

Desperate to avoid falling into an endless spiral of worries and fears and panic again, Doyoung turned to Yuta beside him.

“Distract me,” Doyoung blurted out, keeping his eyes on Yuta.

Yuta frowned, but didn’t object. “How should I distract you?” he asked. Doyoung was glad he didn’t ask what Doyoung needed a distraction for. If he would’ve had to explain it, Doyoung didn’t doubt he’d go off on a tangent and just start worrying again.

“Don’t know,” Doyoung muttered, “talk to me?”

So, Yuta talked to Doyoung. He talked, and talked, and Doyoung responded, again and again. They took only two short breaks for food, and even during those they kept talking.

Yuta told Doyoung about how he was raised. About how he had two sisters, who he hadn’t seen in a long time. How he resembled his mother the most, and how he was always very close with his family. Yuta told Doyoung about the day they found out Yuta, as the youngest and only boy, had inherited his father’s magical powers. How that was also the day Yuta found out his mother used to be his father’s familiar, before they fell in love and (illegally) got married.

In turn, Doyoung told Yuta about how he had never been very close with his parents, but more with Jeno and Taeyong, the ‘lowly’ kitchen boy who got promoted to Doyoung and Jeno’s personal chef. Doyoung told Yuta about how he used to play in the woods surrounding the castle with Jeno, and occasionally his cousin Kun, who now ruled over the neighboring kingdom.

Yuta told Doyoung about familiars, how they only bonded to one partner throughput their entire life, next to their ‘master’, and Doyoung couldn’t help but think of Jaemin’s affection towards Jeno. He made a mental note to ask Jaemin about it later, when things were calmer again.

Yuta told Doyoung about how, ever since he’d found out his mother was his father’s familiar, he had wanted a familiar of his own. To his misfortune, the sale of familiars was banned only a year before he found out, and Yuta had to depend on his own instincts as a witch to find his destined familiar. He had been delighted when he’d found Jaemin, who was still only barely a puppy back then. They got close fast and left their home as soon as Yuta had finished his education, instead opting for freedom and exploration on their own accord.

Yuta also told Doyoung about the number of patients they’d treated together in the roughly seven years they’d been out by themselves, told him how his magic felt for himself, told him how he and Jaemin worked together. Then, they arrived at the moment Yuta had seen the posters Doyoung had ordered to hang up everywhere around the kingdom, and how Yuta’s curiosity had been prickled.

It had looked like a new challenge to Yuta, Jaemin following all too happily. Lastly, Yuta told Doyoung about how much bigger it had ended up being than he could’ve ever imagined. He told Doyoung about how sparkly Jaemin’s aura got when he got to talk to or about Jeno, and in Doyoung’s head, Yuta’s earlier words replayed themselves. “Familiars only pick one romantic partner, usually when they’re pretty young, and bond for the rest of their lives.”

Doyoung told Yuta he had noticed it as well, and how he’d ask Jaemin more about it. Hesitantly, he added he’d let Jeno join them and leave the castle and his duties, if that was what both Jaemin and Jeno desired. The smile on Yuta’s face after those words only lifted a little bit of the pain the prospect of losing Jeno as well caused him.

They talked, and talked, and told each other about their lives before they met. Doyoung felt like he could understand Yuta better know. Like he knew Yuta better now. All of it had, if anything, only managed to strengthen the affections he already harbored for Yuta.

While talking, they got closer and closer to the castle, and Doyoung could feel Yuta get nervous again. He assumed it was because of the distress signals Jaemin was still sending off. Doyoung couldn’t help but start worrying again. He just… all he hoped for was that everything could be _alright_ again.

It was nighttime, when they finally reached the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dumb ending, i know. kinda clueless how to end it so i decided to just cut it off. hope you liked it :)


	13. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2k hits a whole wow!!!!

The second they ran through the gates, Doyoung knew that whatever was wrong was _extremely_ wrong. Jaemin came running in their direction, visible from a distance, and when he got closer, Doyoung could see his whole face was swollen up, eyes red and frantic. Then, Jaemin crashed into Yuta, and he broke out in loud sobbing.

Doyoung held back a curse and helped Yuta lift Jaemin to carry him inside. When Jaemin was finally seated, Doyoung was about to lose his patience. He needed to know what was wrong, and now!

“Jeno isn’t okay, right?” Yuta then asked, voice soft, and Doyoung felt a new wave of anxiety and worries hit him. It had been easy enough to process and suppress when he and Yuta were constantly talking about other things, but now that they were finally back in the castle, all exhaustion was forgotten and the gravity of the situation hit him full force.

Jaemin was sobbing and leaned into Yuta again, hiding his face in the latter’s robes. Yuta let him cry for a little while, but after a few minutes he held Jaemin a bit further away from his body and looked him in the eyes.

Even through the haze of Doyoung’s own panic and fear, he felt his heart break into little pieces at the expression on Jaemin’s face. His eyes were wide and red, swollen from the crying he had undoubtedly been doing for hours before they arrived, even. His cheeks were wet and glistened under the low lighting. His lips were quivering, his lower lip full of scabs as if he’d been chewing on it all day. What hit Doyoung the most was the absolutely terrified glint in his eyes.

“Shh,” Yuta said softly. He gently patted his hair and wiped stray hair out of his face, then dried his tears. Jaemin was visibly shaking, but under Yuta’s ministration he at least managed to get his breathing under control. Then, Yuta put his hands on Jaemin’s shoulders. “Nana, can you explain to us what happened and what’s wrong?”

Jaemin looked on the brink of falling back into panic, but Doyoung guessed the urgency laced through Yuta’s words got through to him, and he took a deep breath. “He- I don’t know what happened. I don’t-”

“Breathe, Jaemin, it’s okay,” Doyoung heard himself say, and he reached out to stroke Jaemin’s bare arm. He didn’t need the full story, not now. He just wanted to know how severe it was.

“I think he’s dying,” Jaemin choked out, and instantly burst into tears again. “Hyung, you _have_ to save him.”

Doyoung was stunned. _Dying._ Jaemin, who could see more of Jeno that Doyoung even could as his own brother, thought he was dying.

Was this the end?

His knees suddenly felt weak, but instead of giving in to the shock he forced himself to stand up. One look at Yuta, and the other knew where Doyoung was going. Yuta followed him to Jeno’s room, supporting a devastated Jaemin up the stairs.

All Doyoung could do to not collapse on the spot at the sight of Jeno, was grab and tightly hold onto Yuta’s arm, taking Jaemin’s hand in his other hand.

Doyoung had seen Jeno in various states of sickness and health, the past year-and-some. He had been forced to get used to pale skin, had grown used to pained expressions and labored breathing. This was the worst state he’d seen Jeno in yet.

His face was a sickly pale, almost green, if it were possible, a layer of sweat covering it. New drops of sweat pooled at his temples, and his hands, that used to lie peacefully on the upper blanket, were shaking uncontrollable, his teeth chattering continuously. His chest was barely moving, and when Doyoung inched closer, he could hear that even his breath was weak and quivery.

“His aura is barely there, and it’s even less visible than earlier in the afternoon,” Jaemin said quietly, having finally stopped crying enough to speak again.

Doyoung took in a deep breath, hearing that it was shaky as well. The reality hadn’t really hit him yet, and he couldn’t say he minded. Crying and screaming wouldn’t change anything. He hated it more than anything, but literally all he could do was wait for Yuta’s judgment and procedure. All he could do was trust Yuta.

He trusted Yuta with his life, and he had been proven that that trust was justified. But… could he trust Yuta with _Jeno’s_ life as well? He had no other option, really, but how would it pack out?

Would Jeno survive?

Doyoung felt tears well up in his eyes, and he aggressively blinked them back. That intention was ruined when Yuta grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He looked him in the eyes, a serious expression on his face.

“I don’t know exactly what happened, or how it happened,” he said, “but I do know that I promised you I’d heal him. I’ll do anything to keep that promise. I swear it.”

Doyoung blinked away new tears and inhaled shakily. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked Yuta. He needed a distraction right now, couldn’t be left with nothing on his hands or he’d collapse. Couldn’t think too much of Jeno, or in what life-threatening danger he was.

Yuta smiled softly. “Hey, hey Doyoung? Remember when I did magic through the night and you forced me to stay in the next day? You took care of me very well, and… well, I think Nana could really use someone to take care of him right now.”

Doyoung turned his head to look at Jaemin, who was crying again, but silently this time. He had sat down with his back against the wall and curled up into his own legs, tears quietly but insistently streaming down his face. His eyes looked dull, and a spark of determination hit Doyoung.

It was a distraction, something, or rather someone to take care of when he couldn’t be there for Jeno. On top of that, seeing Jaemin this sad and honestly… kind of lifeless, almost, like Jeno dying would irrevocably damage him as well, hurt Doyoung. He had barely spoken with Jaemin, but he’d always seen the puppy happy and cheerful, bouncing around, cuddling closer to Jeno when he thought no one was looking. Seeing him this broken was just wrong.

Doyoung turned back to Yuta, the latter a fond look in his eyes. “I promise I’ll do anything in my power to save Jeno,” Yuta said again, “That means I can’t be distracted and can’t look after Nana.” His voice was so gentle and sweet Doyoung had to hold back more tears, and he sniffed.

“I’ll need someone to take care of Nana for me for a little while,” Yuta continued, voice soft as if he was talking to a child. “Doie… could you do that for me?”

Doyoung immediately nodded, resolute. He’d take care of Jaemin. He could do that. he was good at taking care of people, and especially people like Jaemin who he didn’t have embarrassing feelings for. “I’ll go right now, I promise I’ll take good care of him,” Doyoung replied, his voice a bit hoarse.

Yuta smiled. Then, he leaned forward, coming closer and closer. For a second, everything around him disappeared. Became a haze, and he felt as if he was in a cloud. Somewhere on his shoulders, Yuta’s thumbs were rubbing soft and soothing circles into his skin.

One step closer. Face closer. Yuta came closer. Doyoung thought he probably stopped breathing for a second. Suddenly the position of Yuta’s face in front of his changed. Yuta tiptoed, and then Doyoung felt soft lips meet his forehead, then press a little harder, then leave again.

The skin on his forehead was still tingling seconds later, when Yuta had already landed back on his heels and stepped back. He looked embarrassed, and normally Doyoung would leap at the chance to make fun of him. He totally would’ve, had Yuta been embarrassed for a different reason. Doyoung himself couldn’t really think straight either, at the moment.

Then he remembered what he’d just agreed to, the phantom touch of the kiss returning to him (an old dream of lips on his own and loving smiles was pushed down as quickly as it came to him). He coughed once, and Yuta smiled.

Doyoung sniffed again and wiped his eyes, then stepped away from Yuta. He turned around and helped Jaemin stand up, and then let the boy lean on him to stay upright. Before he left the room, a thought struck Doyoung, and he turned around to Yuta.

“Yuta?” he called out, and Yuta hummed in question. “Please take care, and thank you so much.”

Then he stepped out of the room, not waiting for a reply, and carried Jaemin over to Doyoung’s room. There, he let Jaemin sit down on the edge of the bath as he filled and prepared it. All that time, Jaemin hadn’t said a thing, and it worried Doyoung.

When Doyoung finished, steam was rising off the water and a rosy smell filled the room. Jaemin was still staring at the floor. Seeing Jaemin didn’t look like he was going to move anytime soon, Doyoung gently urged him to sit up straight. With slow movements, he undressed Jaemin and helped him sit in the hot water, the boy subconsciously relaxing as soon as the water engulfed his body.

Doyoung was about to stand up when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He turned back to Jaemin, and found the other with his eyes fixed on the water. Then, Jaemin looked up with a pout.

So. This was what puppy eyes meant.

“Could you… join me, hyung?” Jaemin asked. He sounded shy, and while it wasn’t something Doyoung was used to, he felt it was impossible to say no now. “Yuta hyung always hugs me in the bath and scratches my hair when I’m sad,” Jaemin added, and Doyoung didn’t need any more to give in.

He quickly undressed himself and slipped into the bath behind Jaemin, where the boy had created some space for Doyoung. Even before Doyoung could properly get settled, Jaemin had turned his upper body and snuggled into Doyoung’s chest. Doyoung could feel tremors run through Jaemin’s body from the earlier trauma and physical stress from time to time, and he struggled to keep a neutral expression.

Doyoung never did anything like this with Jeno. At least, he hadn’t since they were both kids. He and Jeno were very close, but they, especially Doyoung, had always been more private when it came to things like taking a bath together.

The first few minutes felt a bit awkward to Doyoung, not really sure what was okay and what wasn’t, if he was supposed to hug Jaemin back… However, after some time, he had to admit it felt nice. Jaemin either didn’t notice or made no issue about Doyoung’s initial awkwardness and hummed in satisfaction when Doyoung remembered his earlier words and started playing with his hair.

It was nice to just be close and intimate with someone in a completely platonic, even brotherly way, had Jaemin and Doyoung been closer.

They just soaked for a while, in silence. Jaemin seemed deep in thought in between dozing off every now and then, and Doyoung didn’t want to interrupt or spook him by suddenly talking. He didn’t want to ask invasive or possibly painful questions either, since Jaemin finally seemed to be calming down.

When the water started to get colder, Doyoung silently urged Jaemin to get out before him. He helped Jaemin dry off and redress himself and led Jaemin ahead into his bedroom. There, he gave the boy a soft robe similar to the one he’d given Yuta before, and made him lie down under the covers.

Doyoung had no idea what time it was. Yuta and he had come back to the castle pretty late. The sun had already been down for about two or three hours. Then, it had taken some time for Jaemin to calm down enough to lead them to Jeno’s bedroom. Their time in the bath had felt like at least an hour, as well. Doyoung was sure it was already early morning, but he didn’t mind.

He was exhausted, and he’d rather not sleep in too late in fear of Jeno slipping away. He had to, though. It wouldn’t be safe to run himself down, waiting for Yuta to finish with Jeno. He didn’t even know if Yuta would make it, or how long that would take.

No, he had to rest well so he could support poor Jaemin, who was absolutely worn out and possibly traumatized by whatever had happened when Yuta and Doyoung were away. He had to support Yuta, who would be working through the night and possibly even longer, wearing out his own energy for Jeno (and ultimately, Doyoung, again). He had to be ready to catch and support Jeno for if- _when_ he got better.

He just had to trust Yuta. Trust in his magic and _believe_.

He had no other option.

Doyoung waited until Jaemin had properly settled under the blanket before lying down himself. Immediately, Jaemin got closer to him again, though a bit more hesitantly this time.

“Is something wrong?” Doyoung asked innocently. He already had a suspicion of why Jaemin was suddenly acting shy. It was cute. It suddenly hit him that even in human form, Jaemin was really just a puppy. He smiled.

“Can I still cuddle you?” Jaemin asked softly. Doyoung was surprised by his honesty for a second, but quickly shook it off and smiled a bit wider.

“Of course,” he said, and Jaemin was back to clinging to him right away.

Doyoung originally wasn’t a very cuddly person. Jeno wasn’t either. Doyoung’s theory was that they were never raised with much affection other than the affection they gave each other, so they were ever only comfortable with hugging each other or spending boring nights together.

Then, Yuta came along. Doyoung had cuddled with him, however much he denied it in his mind. They had cuddled, that was undeniable. Doyoung had found that he didn’t dislike it as much as he thought he would, and at first, he wondered if that was just because he, even then, had been fostering romantic feelings for Yuta. That didn’t seem to be the case, though. Now that he was cuddling with Jaemin, someone he’d barely spoken with, he got the idea he just liked cuddling in general. He had just never gotten to do it properly before.

“Yuta hyung was right,” Jaemin hummed happily, relaxed for what was probably the first time that day.

“About what?” Doyoung asked, unable to repress the curiosity.

Doyoung felt Jaemin smile into his collarbone, and the boy shrugged. “He said you’re good at taking care of people, and that you’re a good cuddler. He was right!”

Right. Yuta had told Jaemin that Doyoung was a good cuddler.

It’s safe to say that Doyoung felt like he could explode at any moment, but he had to keep calm. He wasn’t alone, or with Jeno, or Taeyong, even. He was with Jaemin, someone who had been with Yuta for more than half his life. They were as close as brothers, and Doyoung didn’t want to put down the possibility of them having been able to bond souls, however that worked, as well.

Jaemin was a sweetheart, but there was no way he could find out about his feelings for Yuta. Absolutely never.

“Did he really say that?” Doyoung blurted out before he could stop himself. He mentally cursed himself for not being able to shut up when he was sleepy. He had always known it would be a problem someday. It was, right now.

Jaemin hummed, and nodded. “He told me you got him soup, and hugged him. He was a bit afraid of being a burden, but I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Did the pretty man in the kitchen make the soup? He’s a good cook!”

Doyoung was once again stunned to silence by Jaemin’s blunt honesty, and somewhere in the back of his mind something was cheering at Jaemin becoming more and more relaxed. “I’m-” he stuttered out, “um. Yes, the pretty man in the kitchen made it. His name is Taeyong. He’s my chef, officially, but he’s also my friend. My only friend.”

He wasn’t too sure why he added the last part, but that was soon forgotten when Jaemin scooted back and gave Doyoung a scandalized look. “Hyung!” he gasped out, a frown on his face, “we’re friends now as well, right? And Yuta hyung, he told me he likes you a lot!”

“Yes, you are,” Doyoung said to appease him. “But when Jeno is better, you’ll go find other patients again. We’re friends, but it’s temporary.”

Jaemin laughed softly and wrapped his arms back around Doyoung’s middle, nuzzling his face into Doyoung’s chest. “Silly hyung,” he said, letting out a yawn, “you’re acting like we’d leave you alone in here. I bet Jeno would want to stay with you, so we’ll come back!”

Doyoung smiled, but it felt bittersweet. He was fully aware Jaemin wasn’t a child, and he wasn’t dumb either. Yet, he was innocent. Doyoung wished it could be that easy. Besides, when Doyoung became king, Jeno would have no more tasks in the castle. If Jaemin asked Jeno to join Jaemin and Yuta, he doubted he’d keep Jeno with him. That would be unfair.

Suddenly, his throat felt a bit tight, and he shook his head to himself. Jeno leaving would mean Doyoung would be left all alone at the castle. Jeno wouldn’t want that. Besides, he didn’t even know if Jaemin wanted Jeno to come with them.

Doyoung was reminded of Yuta explaining the partner-picking of familiars. They only chose one partner for the rest of their lives, and it was a very intimate process that happened through the auras. Doyoung knew nothing about that.

What if Jaemin had bonded with Jeno, and didn’t want to leave him behind? What if Jaemin had chosen Jeno? He’d never choose anyone else again in his life. He couldn’t do that to Jaemin.

Lost in thought, Doyoung hadn’t seen Jaemin’s eyes fall shut, but when the tight hold Jaemin had had on Doyoung loosened he noticed Jaemin had fallen asleep. He was glad. It was late, or very early, and they deserved some rest.

They’d have a lot to talk about in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡  
> (cant believe I thought this fic would probably be like 35k as a whole)


	14. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna try to hit 70k so yay! longer chapters. this one is almost entirely dialogue. oops. enjoy! <3

Doyoung woke up a few hours later by sunlight shining in his eyes and a mouth full of fur. Apparently, Jaemin had turned into his dog form while asleep. Doyoung found that he didn’t mind that much. He was never especially fond of dogs before, usually just indifferent to them. Nana had changed that, though. He was probably the only puppy Doyoung actually really liked.

He wasn’t sure if he should wake Jaemin up, but before he could decide he wouldn’t the puppy yawned and stretched leisurely. Then, he seemed to suddenly remember where he was, and before Doyoung could blink Jaemin was back in human form.

“That’s so smooth,” he couldn’t help but comment. Jaemin smiled, the (probably intended) smug undertones ruined by his sleepy look.

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” Jaemin replied, unabashedly snuggling back into Doyoung’s chest. Doyoung could only smile and get back to stroking Jaemin’s hair the way he had been before they fell asleep.

They just lied like that for a while, but time passed quickly. There was no sign of Yuta, and Doyoung hadn’t heard anything yet either, so he assumed Yuta was still with Jeno. Either that, or asleep, though he probably would’ve heard something from a servant, were that the case.

Doyoung let Jaemin wake up for a little longer. After a few more minutes, he carefully pulled back from Jaemin and sat up. Jaemin didn’t seem bothered, and just rested his head on Doyoung’s thigh instead. Doyoung chuckled.

“Wake up, Jaemin,” he said, scooting a bit further away. Jaemin groaned, but did roll away from Doyoung this time. He stayed sprawled out on his back on the other side of the bed and slowly opened his eyes.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" Doyoung asked carefully, not wanting to accidentally upset Jaemin again. He was almost unbearably curious about the happenings of the day before, but Jaemin's mental health was important as well. The last thing Doyoung wanted was to make him cry again. Jaemin didn't look like he was about to cry, but you could never be too sure.

Jaemin just hummed, and hid his face in his arms, blocking it from Doyoung's sight. Doyoung forced himself not to comment on it. He'd have to try to give Jaemin as much space as he needed, no matter how difficult it would be to remain patient. Still, he felt like he had to know what exactly had happened with Jeno, and how severe the situation was. "What happened with Jeno yesterday?"

Jaemin sighed, and inhaled deeply. His next exhale sounded a bit shaky, but Doyoung didn't have the feeling he was crying again. It felt more like Jaemin was just calming himself down, gathering his thoughts before speaking up. Doyoung's thoughts were confirmed when Jaemin let his arms fall on the bed next to his body again and turned to look at Doyoung, facing him upside down.

"It was bad," he finally said, his voice barely more than a whimper. Doyoung tried to not let his nerves show too much, and he hoped he succeeded at least a little bit. "Very, very bad."

"What was it?" Doyoung asked, in a last attempt to urge Jaemin to tell him more.

"You came back earlier than planned, so I assume hyung and you caught onto my signal?" Jaemin asked, turning his eyes back to the ceiling. Doyoung nodded, and Jaemin responded with a nod on his own. "It's an ability Yuta gave me, with a charm and some magic, and of course our soul bond through our relationship as master and familiar, though hyung doesn't use the term master. It means I can alert him if anything is getting too out of hand, no matter what it is or where he is."

"Jeno's situation was... getting out of hand?" Doyoung asked. He was getting a bit scared of what Jaemin would tell him, now. He remembered what Jaemin had said the night before, while hysterically crying: Jeno is dying. Jeno was dying, yesterday, in his own room, and no one but Yuta, who hadn't been present, had been able to do anything about it.

"I'm not sure what happened exactly," Jaemin said, closing his eyes. His eyebrows were pulled into a painful frown. Doyoung repressed the urge to get back to petting Jaemin's hair in the hopes of it calming him down a bit, but the story needed to be out. Doyoung had to know, and he'd focus on properly comforting Jaemin later. For now, he'd have to focus on staying strong himself while hearing undoubtedly awful news about his brother.

"I don't know for sure when his condition started going further downhill," Jaemin continued, "but when I woke up he seemed to be doing the same as he had been before that. Asleep, pale, sickly, weak, but that was it. A few hours after sunrise, he suddenly woke up on his own accord, and he seemed very lively at first. But then..."

Doyoung sensed that this was where the bad part came in, and he took a deep breath to ready himself.

"He seemed alive enough, but then he spoke and he was just so... so frantic. That's the only word I can think of right now that'd describe his state then the best. Later, I realized he must've felt it coming. The end, I mean." Jaemin sighed and hastily wiped at his eyes. "I bet he knew this was going to happen, and wanted to wake up for us one last time."

"Did he say something?" Doyoung asked. His voice was shaky, and he mentally scolded himself. Stay strong. For Jaemin. At least for now.

"A lot, actually," Jaemin said, pulling himself to sit up next to Doyoung. He sniffed and leaned his head on Doyoung's shoulder, and Doyoung let him. The boy probably needed some closeness and comfort now. He was already an affectionate person, Doyoung wouldn't be surprised if he became even more cuddly when sad or tired. With everything that had happened, Jaemin had to be both.

"He talked pretty quietly and really fast, but he mentioned you... Multiple times, even. He- he told me to thank you in his stead if he wasn't going to make it until you came back and wouldn't be able to say it himself. And... he also told me that if he died that day, I should tell you he- he loves you very much and he always will. That he's always thankful of you holding onto him and caring for him, taking care of him, and that he hopes you can let him go if he passes away."

A tear rolled from Jaemin's eye onto Doyoung's bare shoulder, and Doyoung felt like crying himself. He shouldn't, he kept telling himself. But after receiving this news, staying strong was getting very difficult.

Jeno had always been like that. Grateful of anything he got, always happy and hopeful, usually awkward with expressing affection with anyone but Doyoung. Always so loving, and sweet, always thinking of others before himself. Doyoung, at this moment, couldn't stand it.

Doyoung just wished Jeno could wake up, could be healthy, could live the beautiful life he deserved. He had never wished for something to happen so badly.

"You know I can read your aura like a book, right?" Jaemin asked off-handedly, his voice still slightly shaky. Right, of course he could. Doyoung couldn't fool him with his 'staying strong' business. Jaemin could see right through him.

"Yeah, I know," Doyoung croaked out, finding that he didn't really mind Jaemin poking into his soul. He should've been more apprehensive, probably, but it was Jaemin. What he was more worried about, was Jaemin knowing his actual emotions at everything that was happening.

"You know it's okay to cry, right?" Jaemin asked, and Doyoung nodded.

"Of course," he said, and shrugged, careful not to jostle Jaemin too much. "It's perfectly okay, but... I don't want to. Please- please just continue talking, please."

"Fine," Jaemin replied, and he took a minute to gather himself again.

"He talked about you a lot," he then said, "and... about me as well. We talked a lot about our lives, the people in them, and... Yeah. I think he mentioned loving you more than anyone else at least ten times."

Doyoung hated that it choked him up further, but he couldn't really help it. Jeno... Beautiful, sweet Jeno, who deserved so much more than the horrible fate he was living. Doyoung sent a quick prayer for his health and Yuta's abilities once more, and almost subconsciously lifted a hand to cradle the charms Yuta had given him that still rested on his chest.

"And then?" he then asked.

"He said goodbye," Jaemin said, "and fell asleep again. I didn't worry too much about it at first, because he still didn't look much different, and he'd talked a lot. But- but then..."

Jaemin took a deep breath, and Doyoung had a gut feeling he hadn't even heard the worst part yet.

"After maybe another hour, it started with sweating, and badly," Jaemin continued, "in only a few minutes both his body and his sheets were soaked in sweat. A bit later, his face turned all red, and then a bit purple, and I was afraid he was going to choke so I changed his position, and it only got a bit better after that. Again a bit later, he just turned white again, somehow even paler than before. Almost like- almost like he had no blood left in his body. Then-"

Jaemin swallowed, and sniffed a few times. Oh no, was all Doyoung could think.

"Then he was dead still for a while, and that's when I sent the first distress signal. I don't think you actually got that one, though. It was a bit weak. The stronger one was when- when he suddenly started to shake. It started with just his hands, but then his arms as well, and it gradually moved on to his whole body, and it kept getting worse and worse. The shaking- at some point he was just short of trashing around. I- it was the worst part, definitely. I did everything I could to calm him, but nothing seemed to work," Jaemin said.

It was clear in his voice and manner that this part was the most difficult for him to recall, and Doyoung grabbed his hand to offer at least some sense of comfort.

"He didn't look like my Jeno- like the Jeno we know," he continued in a whisper, "it looked like he was having a seizure, but for almost twenty minutes. And after that he just completely fell still. If it weren't for the fact that he was still breathing, if only barely, I would've thought he had died already. Even his aura was getting weaker and weaker. Right before you came back, it was almost completely gone."

With that, Jaemin was finally done, and Doyoung let out a deep sigh. That was a lot. He couldn't even imagine how hard it must've been for Jaemin to have to stand back and watch Jeno in such a terrible state, unable to do anything. Doyoung had been in that position himself for months, but he had never been able to do anything. Jaemin actually was, as a familiar, but when it got too bad even he had to retreat, powerless against the illness.

"I woke up so easrly, and I had a really bad feeling right away," Jaemin sniffled, "but he seemed fine, so I didn't assume he'd be doing way worse than ever before. I didn't even check his aura, because he looked so stable. But... now, thinking back, I should've known. I could've called you back way earlier, and... Yuta could've saved him easier, and- Doyoung hyung, if Jeno doesn't survive-"

Doyoung shushed him and pulled Jaemin into a tight hug, tears pressing at his eyes. Damn it, he had to be strong for Jaemin now. He shouldn't be thinking about Jeno's life actually ending. He couldn't.

Before Yuta had come to them, Doyoung had been getting quite hopeless. He had already been working on coming to terms with a future without Jeno. He still struggled every day, but he had been working on preparing himself for Jeno's unavoidable passing. Then, Yuta had come into the picture, and given Doyoung hope. Hope for a future alongside his brother, hope for seeing Jeno healthy again in the future. Now, that hope was slowly but surely being crushed again. He couldn't let it. He needed to have faith in Yuta's abilities.

Still, he doubted there was much of a chance of survival for Jeno left.

Desparate for a different topic to talk about, Doyoung tried to change the subject. "Yuta told me a lot about the past you two had together, yesterday on our way back. He talked a bit about how familiars work. I really knew nothing, before I met you two."

That brought a smile, albeit watery, to Jaemin's face. "It's very different from a regular human's life, right? You don't travel around as much, and you usually know nothing about the strength and importance of soul bonds."

The last words sounded almost accusing, and despite the serious atmosphere Doyoung laughed. "That's because we can't see or feel them, Nana. That's why no one knows about it, unless we're told."

"Yeah, that's right," Jaemin said softly. He was silent for a while. Doyoung knew he wasn't done talking yet, though, so he kept quiet as well.

"I told Jeno about it as well, a few days ago," Jaemin then said, and Doyoung wasn't too surprised at that. He had the feeling Jaemin and Jeno had talked a lot more than either Yuta or he were aware of.

"We've talked a lot," he said, "also in the short moments Jeno woke up when you and Yuta hyung were out. It would happen multiple times a day, a few minutes every few hours, and... sometimes if it took too long, I used my energy to wake him up, mostly to get him to eat a bit and then we'd also talk a bit after. I told him... wait, did Yuta hyung tell you about that? The choosing partners?"

Doyoung nodded, already kind of suspecting where this was going. This was a conversation he'd been dreading, but an important one. He shouldn't avoid asking Jaemin about it any longer. "You- familiars. They choose one partner for the rest of their lives, right? And it had something to do with the auras, and soul bonds."

Jaemin nodded and hesitantly smiled up at Doyoung. "Yeah, that's right. It's because- familiars are never born. They're made by the magic of their parents. Most of the time, the parents are witches, which was also my case. For witches, it's decided at birth if their child will continue life to be a witch. They... yeah. It's kind of like running tests. You can have an affinity for magic, but some kids are way stronger in empathy or soul binding than magic. Those are the kids that are made familiars when they're about toddlers, and then get special education for their own powers.

 In the past, familiars could be sold to witches, but that was banned. Now, witches have to adopt a familiar or just... stumble across one. It's a mutual bonding, though. Because of that, familiars are wired to be extremely loyal. It's not exactly a rule that they can't have more than one partner in life, it's just completely against the nature of a familiar. After their partner passes away, it means the breaking of an incredibly strong soul bond, and that would already do numbers on any regular human. For familiars and their partners, those feelings are even stronger because of our close connections to soul bonds and auras."

It all made sense, if Doyoung really thought about it. If two humans had been together for years, and their relationship was broken up or one of them passed away, it hurt. They were heartbroken, and sad, and would, in most cases, miss the other person, and that was without even knowing what a soul bond ///was///.

"And... what did Jeno say about it?" Doyoung asked tentatively.

"He thought it was nice," Jaemin responded, voice shy, but at least he seemed less distressed now. "He said it must be nice to have the ensurance of staying with someone for the rest of your life, but it's not really like that. The familiar chooses, and if the other accepts, whoever it is, the soul starts binding. Without acceptance from the partner, the familiar has still chosen, and will probably alone for the rest of their lives. That's why usually familiars have such a long courting, or dating period before actually choosing."

"So choosing is a bit like human marriage?" Doyoung asked, and Jaemin laughed.

"Under familiars, the concept is similar, but it's a lot more binding. Marriages can be broken up, but a familiar's soul bond can't be broken. Ever."

It was quiet for a while, Doyoung deep in thought. He had seen the way Jaemin looked at Jeno before. He wasn't blind to the way Jeno had looked back at him, either. On top of that, they'd spoken a lot, even without Doyoung and Yuta yet.

He knew Jaemin had fallen for Jeno.

It was conflicting. He didn't want Jaemin to get hurt, but he wasn't sure up to what point a human like him or Jeno could ever truly understand the importance and weight of choosing someone to spend their life with as it was for familiars. Never mind that, he wasn't even sure if Jeno would survive. Letting Jaemin choose for Jeno seemed too risky now, and he wasn't sure what to do.

"You like Jeno, right?" he asked anyway, if only just to confirm his suspicions.

Jaemin immediately flushed a bright red, and Doyoung couldn't help but smile. Flustered, Jaemin sat up a bit further, taking his head off Doyoung's shoulder. "I- I'm," he stuttered out, looking at anything around the room but Doyoung. Then, he sighed. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "you're probably- not okay with that. And I- Jeno, he..."

"Deep breaths, it's fine," Doyoung said, forcing a smile onto his face. "I'm okay with it, I promise. You can tell me."

"Really?" Jaemin asked, and Doyoung nodded. "I- I don't know what to say, I'm... thank you. For not getting mad at me."

"Don't be stupid," Doyoung said with a laugh, and he laid an arm over Jaemin's shoulder to pull him closer again. Jaemin let Doyoung, but he kept his eyes trained tightly on his own hands, where he was playing with his fingers. "Come on," Doyoung urged, "tell me what's on your mind."

Jaemin sighed again, and physically deflated along with his resistance. "Yesterday when I talked to Jeno I explained the whole situation to him, and told him I liked him," Jaemin said, voice tight and body tense. "Jeno... he apologized for making me fall for him, somehow, and also for... falling for me, as well. He... he said he liked me back, a lot, and that he thought he felt our bond already. It's... true. Even though I haven't officially chosen him yet, our souls are still connected due to the constant binding we've been doing with my magic, when I was helping in curing him. He's... hyung, Jeno is a very special person. He felt the bond. He's the most empathic human I've ever met, and... I'm sorry. I just really don't know what I'd do if he passed away now."

Doyoung nodded. "You haven't officially chosen him yet," he said, "but your heart already made the decision for you, Nana."

Jaemin sighed once more, and slowly nodded. "I know," he whispered, almost painfully softly.

Doyoung felt sorry for Jaemin. From what he'd heard so far, he had the idea usually soul bonds wouldn't develop fully until the official choosing had taken part, however that happened. With how close Jaemin and Jeno had been, their souls and auras intertwining due to Jaemin's curing and soothing powers, they had already passed that point, be it subconsiously.

If Jeno died, it could have serious consequences for Jaemin.

"How does the choosing work?" Doyoung asked, "and what usually happens after?"

"In this case, I'd have to ask Jeno formally if he'd be... willing to stay with me for life. And if he said yes..." a wistful expression appeared on Jaemin's face for a second, but he quickly shook it off and sent Doyoung a sad smile. "If Jeno said yes, he'd most likely come with us."

Ah. There it was. The reason why he'd been dreading this conversation. If Jeno decided he really liked Jaemin and would want to stay with him, it meant he'd have to leave. Doyoung didn't like the idea of having to stay alone in the castle at all, but he'd be a monster if he forbid Jeno to leave the castle. In this case, even, it'd not only hinder Jeno, but hurt Jaemin on a level Doyoung couldn't even fathom. He couldn't do that.

Even if Jeno lived past this day, he'd have to part ways with him. He'd have to let him go, one way or another.

"You know," Doyoung said slowly, taking his eyes off Jaemin to fix them on the wall opposite of his bed. "I think... no, I know that if you asked Jeno to come along with him... He'd probably say yes, and... I'd let him go, if you both were sure about it."

Jaemin chuckled. "No way, he'd never leave you behind. I'm sure of that. Not without your explicit permission, at least, and he'd feel terrible even then. I don't want to do that to him. It's not fair to both of you. I... I can't make him choose between you or me. I'll just... I'll have to find a way to live alone. I- it's fine."

Doyoung resolutely shook his head. "No, Jaemin, listen to me. I'll give him all the permission he needs. He deserves a happy life, and I know he won't have that here, alone in the castle. There won't be any tasks for him here anyway once I become king. Surely, being with you would make him a lot happier. You... you can ask him, if he gets better."

Jaemin looked up at Doyoung. The bright smile on his face warmed Doyoung's heart, and the tears in Jaemin's eyes as he profusely thanked Doyoung for letting him have a chance proved to him that it was the right decision.

Jeno would be in good hands with Jaemin.


	15. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha.  
> might not be good. idk. not proofread at all i just have to leave in 10 minutes and dont want to leave it until later. hope its decent.  
> also thank you so much!!!! over 200 kudos already i might cry for real---

The rest of the day Doyoung and Jaemin mostly spent in bed, until Jaemin got too fidgety and couldn't stay still anymore. Apparently, even he could get enough of cuddling. He was a dog, after all, and still pretty much a puppy. Doyoung guessed his dog form aged like his human form; at seventeen years old, his dog form couldnt be much more than one or one and a half year old. To add to that, Jaemin told Doyoung a lot about the specific breed he could turn into. Samoyeds were active dogs, and that translated to Jaemin's human form being playful and active as well.

Late in the afternoon, Doyoung could see Jaemin was getting restless. They hadn't heard anything from Yuta yet, so Doyoung assumed he was still busy with Jeno. He'd have to take care of Jaemin for a bit longer. There was only one problem; Doyoung had no clue how to take care of a dog.

It was embarrassing to have Jaemin tell him how Doyoung would have to handle him, but he comforted himself with the thought that it had to be a bit awkward for Jaemin as well. So, just after the sun had reached it's highest point, Doyoung took Jaemin outside, to the big garden just inside the castle walls, on the other side of their sleeping quarters.

Jaemin was positively bouncing around Doyoung, and Doyoung hoped he'd be able to keep up with Jaemin. It was obvious the younger boy was excited; he had a big grin on his face, and despite how good he said his control over his dog form was, he kept accidentally shifting into the small puppy. Somehow, in dog form, he bounced around even more than in human form. Doyoung couldn't deny that it was endearing.

As soon as they reached the garden, Jaemin went back into his dog form and stormed off right away. The way he chaotically ran and stumbled around the garden was adorable to Doyoung. Jaemin stopped for half a second, probably, at every bush and flower he encountered, and jumped after butterflies. Despite the circumstances, it brought a smile to Doyoung's face.

He was glad this was a succesful way for Jaemin to unload his earlier distress and sadness. Just watching him happily play and roll around in the grass lightened Doyoung's heart and lifted his mood. There was something about the bright innocence Nana expressed in his dog form that made you forget about all the bad things on your mind prior to playing with him.

Doyoung took a seat on the grass and let Jaemin go crazy for a bit longer, the puppy eventually being spent and laying down on the grass next to Doyoung. It still was a bit surreal to know that behind that dog, there was also a human boy. Doyoung wondered how much of his human form was still present in his dog form, how his thought process as a dog differed from actual dogs. Was it different? He should ask Jaemin, later.

They just lied there until the sky started to darken, only staying out to watch the sunset. Nana was softly panting beside him, his head resting on his paws. Doyoung resisted the urge to pet him again. He bet Nana's fur was soft. It looked like it was.

After the sun had set, they went back inside, Jaemin shifting back to his human form. When they re-entered the living quarters, it was quiet. There was no sight of Yuta, no sight of any servants. It was unnerving. Doyoung just hoped all servants were either in their own quarters, resting after a long day, or assisting Yuta. He hoped Yuta was taking care of himself.

Despite having done absolutely nothing even remotely arduous that day, Doyoung was exhausted. Jaemin looked like he'd been put through the ringer as well, and Doyoung didn't hesitate to suggest they go to bed right away. Jaemin agreed right away, and followed Doyoung to his bedroom. Doyoung didn't comment on it. He hadn't thought Jaemin would like sleeping alone, and it turned out to be true. He didn't mind sleeping with someone, anyway. Not when it was Jaemin. Somehow, he made it comfortable even when they hadn't been that close at all, before that day.

Before the sky had even turned completely dark, Jaemin was asleep. Thanks to the soothing aura he (probably unknowingly) exuded, Doyoung followed soon after.

Doyoung was rudely awoken by what sounded like knocking on the door. The sky had gone dark, by now, but Doyoung didn't think he'd been asleep for very long. He didn't hear the knocking again for a few seconds, and he was about to close his eyes again when the person outside his door knocked again.

With a sigh, Doyoung blinked the sleep out of his eyes and pushed himself up and off the bed. Then, he stumbled over to the door, doing his best to be as quiet as possible for Jaemin, who was still asleep. When he opened the door, Yuta almost fell inside with it. Despite his brain still being half asleep, Doyoung managed to step forward, making sure Yuta didn't fall over flat on his face.

Yuta was breathing heavily, and his eyebags were dark and enormous. He looked like he hadn't slept for a week, and while that couldn't be the case, Doyoung doubted Yuta had taken many breaks the past days. Yuta looked two steps away from losing consciousness, and even Doyoung could feel that his magic and aura were flickering, so he grabbed Yuta's arm, forcing him to lean on Doyoung. Then, he half carried Yuta to the bed, and gently lowered him on it.

"Jeno-" Yuta coughed out. Doyoung was about to shush him, but Yuta lifted a hand to do it right back at him. It sounded like speaking was taking an extreme amount of effort for him, but the seriousness of his expression made Doyoung keep quiet. This had to be important. "Jeno, he's," Yuta tried again, taking a few deep, ragged breaths before continuing. "I worked non-stop, and he's- it was bad, but he's stable for now. He's alive."

Doyoung felt his hands move up to cover his mouth before he could stop himself. Yuta had done it. He had done exactly as Doyoung had guessed. He hadn't taken breaks, just to make sure he fulfilled his promises. And he had.

Jeno was alive.

A mere three seconds after Yuta spoke his last words, his eyes rolled back in his head and his body turned limp, slumping into itself. Doyoung moved quickly to arrange his body in a more comfortable position. Yuta needed the rest, and falling asleep sitting up couldn't be comfortable nor good for his back. His breathing was stable and his features relaxed, so Doyoung didn't worry.

Yuta was just an idiot. He had probably nearly drained himself again, and would recover after a good meal and a full night of sleep. Doyoung had done nothing. He could live with a bit less sleep than usual, for tonight.

It wasn't like he'd be able to sleep now, anyway. He was wide awake, heart pounding a storm in his chest and brain going about a million miles per minute. Jeno was alive, and stable. Yuta was passed out on the spot Doyoung had been lying. He only really had one thing he wanted to do, right now.

The door fell shut behind him with a quiet click, and then he was running. Through the hall, up the stairs, around a corner, another hall. Then, Jeno's room.

Behind that door lied his little brother, who he'd been sure was going to die. He'd made it, thanks to Yuta. He was alive.

Suddenly getting nervous for how he'd see Jeno on the other side of the door, he hesitated for a second. What is he still looked terrible? A hand fell on his shoulder, and Doyoung didn't even have to turn to know it was Jaemin. Doyoung assumed he'd heard him leave the room, and had followed.

Doyoung didn't feel much need to say anything, and he took the hand Jaemin had laid on his shoulder in his own hand. Then, he opened the door with the other, and pulled the younger boy inside after him.

The second the door closed behind them again, Jaemin burst into tears. Doyoung quickly found why; Jeno was truly alive.

His chest was moving up and down rythmically. The soft sounds of his steady breathing had never been more comforting than they were now. His eyes were closed, and his face was still pale. It was so, so very clear he wasn't completely cured yet, but he was alive. For now, that was all Doyoung wanted. For now, he was stable. He was quiet, body completely still save for the rise and fall of his chest, but he was breathing, no longer shaking as Jaemin had described.

Doyoung turned to Jaemin, where the younger was furiously wiping at his cheeks (without effect). Doyoung looked from Jaemin to Jeno, and back again, and felt a laugh bubble up in his chest. He let it out, near crazy giggles falling over his lips probably a bit louder than usual. He just couldn't help it. He'd been happy plenty of times before, but this, what Doyoung felt right now, was what actual happiness felt like. In this moment, he felt like nothing could ruin him ever again.

He pulled Jaemin into a tight hug, ignoring the way his tears were wetting Doyoung's tunic. They just swayed from side to side for a few minutes, Jaemin's arms coming around Doyoung's waist to hold onto the fabric of his tunic. Doyoung could only imagine how relieved Jaemin had to be.

After some more time, he pulled back again and led Jaemin closer to Jeno's bedside. When he got close enough, Jaemin instantly took hold of one of Jeno's hands and pressed it to his own cheek, eyes closed. Even though it didn't last long, the moment felt intimate, and Doyoung couldn't help but feel like he was intruding on something personal.

"What I said earlier still stands, Nana," Doyoung mumbled, watching them from about a step away. "He's alive. My promise still stands, you know that right? When- when Jeno wakes up, you can... you can ask him. If he wants to come with you, I mean."

Getting the words out now that they knew Jeno was alive wasn't as hard as he'd anticipated it to be. He was pretty sure Jeno would say yes, if Jaemin had been telling the truth about how close he and Jeno had grown. He would probably have to say goodbye to Jeno somewhere in the future, anyway. He'd rather do it now, when it was for precious, sensitive Jaemin. Jaemin deserved to officially choose Jeno, and Jeno deserved like nobody else in the whole kingdom to be happy. Doyoung didn't doubt he'd be able to achieve that happiness with Jaemin.

It was strange, probably, to be so sure of that after maybe two days of talking, but there was something about Jaemin that just told him everything about him was good. Doyoung couldn't explain it, if someone were to ask him to. It was just Jaemin.

"Are you really sure?" Jaemin asked, his face completely wet with tears. Doyoung smiled and wiped them away with his sleeve.

"I'm one hundred percent sure," he said. "I promise."

Jaemin surged closer and hugged him tightly one more time. It was a quick, strong hug, and Doyoung patted his hair a few times. Then, he patted Jaemin on the shoulder and turned to leave the room.

When he got back to his own room, he remembered Yuta had passed out in his bed when he saw the body sprawled out widely on his bed. Doyoung suddenly felt the exhaustion catch up to him again. Not really feeling like sleeping on the floor, he shrugged off his tunic and carefully stepped over Yuta to lie down on the spot Jaemin had occupied earlier. He assumed Jaemin would be staying at Jeno's side during the night, and Yuta needed the sleep.

Doyoung minded to keep a bit of distance with where Yuta lied. Lying any closer would mean risking too much, the possibility of moving even closer in his sleep too big.

He wasn't planning to fall asleep too quickly. Doyoung rather wanted to take this quiet (almost) alone time to overthink certain things that had happened and would most likely be happening in the future, but he was asleep even before his head had fully settled on his pillow.

He awoke with a start, quite a few hours later. Immediately conscious of the body lying unmoving next to him, he turned only his head.

Yuta was still asleep. Doyoung had succesfully managed to keep the distance between him and Yuta during the night, he thought. Until he noticed a pressure on his right hand. Somehow, somewhere during the night, their hands lying in the middle had found each other, their fingers resting intertwined on the bed.

Doyoung didn't want to pull back just yet, so he rolled onto his back and turned his head to the side, savoring the early morning hours.

He let his eyes roam over Yuta's face for a little while. Yuta was lying on his back, so Doyoung couldn't see his whole face, but he gladly admired Yuta's strong jawline. His eyes moved further, resting on the slope of his nose, his plush lips, his long eyelashes.

Yuta was beautiful on both the in and outside, and it made for quite a health hazard for Doyoung. Also, Yuta was still asleep, and Doyoung was staring at him like some creep. Suddenly ashamed of himself, Doyoung turned his eyes back to the ceiling and let out a deep sigh. A few minutes later, he fell into a light sleep again.

The second time he opened his eyes, it was to darkness. Dazed, he blinked a few times, but it proved to be more difficult than it should be. He moved his head back a few centimeters, and the room became a bit lighter. Doyoung let out a confused sound and moved a bit further back. Right when he did, he realized something was terribly wrong, and quickly he moved back further.

He felt his heart start to beat faster and his face heat up when he let go of Yuta's arm, that he had somehow hugged to his body and buried his face onto when he fell asleep the second time. With a face burning like it was aflame, Doyoung moved to look a bit further up, to Yuta's face.

Yuta was looking right back at him. Doyoung wanted to look away, but Yuta was looking him right in the eye. There was something in his eyes that made it impossible for Doyoung to move back any further. Something in Yuta's gaze stopped him from breaking eye contact and getting away.

Maybe Yuta really did genuinely care for Doyoung?

His heart skipped a beat in his chest, and Doyoung blinked a few times. He coughed, furiously racking his brain for something good to say.

Yuta was still looking at him, though not in the eyes anymore. His gaze was burning. Part of Doyoung was embarrassed by it, but a bigger part of him wanted Yuta to never look away again. He'd have to, some time, though.

"How are you feeling now?" Doyoung asked, his voice no more than a shaky whisper. He mentally cursed himself.

Yuta didn't reply for a few seconds, before he smiled softly. "Amazing," he mumbled in response, and Doyoung's heart skipped another beat. Damn it.

"That's good," Doyoung said back. The moment felt... intimate. Way too intimate, for Doyoung's liking. This wasn't safe. He couldn't risk letting Yuta strengthen his feelings even more.

Deep down, though, he knew that wasn't quite possible when you already loved someone.

He sighed softly. Taking his eyes off Yuta's proved to be more difficult than it should've been, especially when Yuta was looking at him like that. Coughing awkwardly again, Doyoung moved to get up. The moment the contact between their hands disappeared broke something in Doyoung's heart, the slightly sad look in Yuta's eyes only making it worse.

"Let's go see Jeno and Jaemin," Doyoung said, offering his hand to Yuta to help him get up. Yuta took the offer and pulled himself upwards. Doyoung, as a safety measure, made sure to keep a safe distance between Yuta and him, despite how strongly he just wanted to hold Yuta in his arms. Or maybe be held by Yuta's arms. Any would be good.

He shook his head at his own thoughts and left the room ahead of Yuta. He couldn't be thinking things like that. It was inappropriate, and dangerous. He couldn't.

The look in Yuta's eyes before Doyoung pulled back on the bed stayed bright and clear in his mind, though, the warmth behind it was startling. Doyoung was afraid he wasn't quite ready to think about the emotion that lingered behind it, that caused the look, that-

He couldn't. Both he and Yuta couldn't. Doyoung just had to remember he would be alone in a few days. Getting even closer would only make their departure hurt even more. He couldn't risk it.

Doyoung wasn't ready to address the lingering tension between him and Yuta, wasn't ready to think about it and what it might mean to the both of them. So, he didn't mention it, and Yuta didn't either. He didn't look at Yuta again, but as Yuta caught up to him in the first hall, laid an arm around Doyoung's waist and pulled him closer into Yuta's side, Doyoung didn't protest and instead let himself bask in the warmth Yuta's body gave off.

When he reached the door to Jeno's room for the second time that morning, they still hadn't spoken, but Doyoung had allowed himself to lean a bit more into Yuta's side. It was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the looks he could feel Yuta send him, but he managed.

Jeno looked the same as a few hours earlier, Doyoung noted with a sigh of relief. Jaemin smiled at them to show that he was awake and watching over Jeno, but he was on the bed, cuddled up to a still sleeping Jeno. He looked content, and Doyoung was once more satisfied with the decision he'd made to let Jaemin ask if he could be with Jeno.

Then, Jaemin sat up and motioned for Doyoung and Yuta to come closer. They both took a seat on the edge of the bed on the side where Jaemin sat, and without needing to be asked, Jaemin started talking.

He told about how Doyoung had comforted him tirelessly the first evening, and Doyoung felt a blush grow on his cheeks when Jaemin mentioned that they bathed together. Yuta just smiled, though. "Yeah, Nana likes that when he's upset," was all he said, but Doyoung could see he was grateful. It made Doyoung happy, and he could start floating at any second. This morning had been way too... nice. Yeah, nice had to be the best word to describe it. It was too nice. Doyoung couldn't let himself get too used to nice mornings. Mornings like that morning.

Jaemin continued to tell Yuta about the things they'd talked about together. Doyoung's heart swelled in his chest when Jaemin told Yuta about Doyoung giving him permission to ask Jeno to come along with them, and again he was glad he'd made that decision. Jeno would never say no, and with the way Jaemin was smiling when he talked about it, his eyes glassy and voice high-pitched... Doyoung didn't think happiness had ever looked better on a person.

When Jaemin was done, Yuta sighed loudly, but it wasn't a negative sounding sigh. He turned around to Doyoung, a happy smile on his face. His eyes seemed a bit watery as well, but Doyoung didn't comment on it.

"Thank you so much," he said, his voice laden with emotions. Doyoung couldn't find words to properly reply to Yuta, so he just smiled. "You don't even know how much this means," Yuta continued, and he took one of Doyoung's hands in both of his. He softly stroked over the back of his hand with his thumbs, and Doyoung forced himself to keep his eyes on Yuta's face. Not that that was too difficult.

"This means so, so much. Not only to Jaemin, but to me as well. It means the world. You're seriously so amazing, Doyoung," Yuta said, still with the bright smile lighting up all his features.

Doyoung's breath caught in his throat. He really, _really_ didn't want Yuta to leave.

If only he could stay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so jeno didnt die yay  
> maybe a bit late but [here ](https://cdn1-www.dogtime.com/assets/uploads/gallery/samoyed-dogs-and-puppies/samoyed-dogs-puppies-5.jpg) is how i imagine jaemin in dog form to look like


	16. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow the filler chapter is the longest of all. with 51K this officially is now the longest fic ive ever written!!! thank you all so much for the 200+ kudos i cry nearly every day

Doyoung wasn't sure how long he'd stayed with Yuta and Jaemin in Jeno's room, just sitting on his bed, watching him as he slept on and on. Not once did he move a muscle, other than the movement caused by his breathing. Doyoung had learned to appreciate that. It meant he was stable, in decent condition. Good enough, for now.

Yuta had premade the last parts of the cure when he had finally finished stabilizing Jeno's condition the two nights and day before. That meant he didn't have much work to do that day, which in turn meant Jaemin and Doyoung didnt either. Still, Jaemin was reluctant to leave Doyoung's side.

Yuta was still too low on energy to finish Jeno's cure, and Jeno's body had to be exhausted after nearly escaping death just hours earlier. It would be too risky to continue with the last part of the healing process right away, both for Jeno and for Yuta.

The first hours, Doyoung had been more than content to watch Jeno as he breathed peacefully, but after that the room started to feel stifling. Physically, Doyoung wasn't too tired, but emotionally he was completely drained. The tumult of the earlier events were starting to catch up to him, and he felt like he needed to get out. And fast.

He excused himself and fled the room, Jaemin not even looking up from where he was sat, instead opting for not letting Jeno out of his sight for a second. Doyoung didn't mind. He knew how deep their bond ran, now. He and Jeno had an extremely strong bond, as brothers, but in a different way Jaemin felt it. Doyoung didn't think Jaemin's connection ran stronger than his, at all, but the boy definitely experienced it way differently.

Doyoung couldn't really judge him for his behavior, anyway. He'd had months and months to get used to the idea of Jeno dying sometime soon. Him actually getting so close of course still came as a shock, but deep down he'd been prepared for it. Jaemin had deep running trust in Yuta, and only about two weeks. There was no way he could've seen it coming.

Doyoung left the room and closed the door behind him. He stood still for a minute, contemplating for what he should do. Then, he just shrugged and turned left. He just needed to clear his head for a bit. Maybe scream a little, as well. He'd just walk, and see where he ended up.

He passed Jeno's room one more time, before going down the stairs and aimlessly walking around the castle. Turning corners, going up and down stairs, counting bricks... There was not a single room or hallway in the castle he hadn't explored with Jeno when they were younger. There was only so much they could do as they got old enough to be forced to take classes everyday. When those started, they weren't allowed to go outside during those classes, and so had to find other places to play and hide to get out of them.

Doyoung ended up in the garden after a while, and sat down. Still, he couldn't calm his thoughts. Every single place in the castle was full of memories Doyoung had made there with Jeno, which didn't help much in clearing his head when he had to do that by not thinking about Jeno for a minute.

However... the only room or place in the whole castle Doyoung knew Jeno had never been to, was the hidden throne room. He'd told Jeno about how he'd found it, but he knew Jeno had his own pivate spot in the tower and they decided together to let each other keep that one room as a safe space, where they knew no one could find them, and where the other sibling wouldn't enter.

Now that he'd finally found a specific place to go to, Doyoung moved a lot faster than before. In no time, he was running, only slowing down when he reached the hallway his throne room was at the end of. When he was nearing the end, he slowed down even more, continuing the last meters in a slow pace.

Then he heard the voices, and stood still. They weren't coming out of his room, but rather the one next to it. He walked a bit closer to the door the people inside had left open. Doyoung only relaxed when he heard the people were Yuta and Jaemin, who were simply discussing something. He felt his heart flutter a little when he realized Yuta had purposely not taken Jaemin to his throne room.

He heard his name, and instantly stiffened again. Quickly making the decision to throw all his morals out of the window for once in his life, he moved a bit and hid a bit away from the door, so he could safely eavesdrop on them. If they suddenly left, he could always just walk past and pretend he just came by and was simply on the way to his room.

He wasn't too sure who it was that had said his name at first, because the two were silent for a while. For a moment, he even doubted if they had actually said his name or if he just misheard. He was about to walk away when Jaemin started talking again.

"But..." he said, and Doyoung inched a little bit closer to the door to hear them better. "I'm really not sure if Jeno would agree to leaving Doyoung hyung here. He's... he wouldn't leave his brother alone, I'm sure of it. Even though Doyoung hyung gave permission, I feel bad."

Doyoung held his breath for a few seconds. He could've seen this coming. There was no way Jaemin wouldn't properly discuss it with Yuta alone, and if he had to be honest, Doyoung wasn't surprised to hear that Jaemin still felt bad about the whole topic. He was just that nice.

Yuta said something Doyoung didn't understand, and Jaemin hummed in response to that. Doyoung mentally cursed himself for not paying attention, and closed his eyes to be able to listen even better.

"If Jeno agrees to come, though," Yuta then said, "I wouldn't stop him. Doyoung... he's way too self-sacrificial, really, but he wouldn't tell you to go for it if he didn't mean any of it. If Jeno is okay with leaving Doyoung for you... Who would I be to stop him?"

"So you'd be okay with looking after an extra person?" Jaemin questioned.

Yuta laughed. It sounded mocking, but friendly. "You're growing up more and more, Jaeminnie, you'll be an adult soon. I doubt I'll have to look after you two much."

Jaemin smiled, and then for a few seconds Doyoung only heard shuffling and the rustling of their robes. For a hot minute, he froze up, terrified they were making their way back out of the room, but when it stayed quiet after that he relaxed. They probably just hugged, or something.

And indeed, again a few seconds later the rustling returned. Doyoung pulled back a bit. If they were done with their conversation, they'd surely be leaving the room after their hug. He couldn't get caught, if they didn't know he was there already. He didn't hear footsteps approach the doorway, though, and dared to step a little closer again.

"You okay, hyung?" Jaemin then asked, concern laced through his voice. Doyoung knew the only other person in there with him was Yuta, unless they'd been hiding someone in that room all along, somehow, and instantly he perked up. Why would Jaemin ask if Yuta is okay? Why did he sound so concerned, was something wrong? Did something happen to Yuta? Was he not recovered? Did Doyong perhaps do something?

"It's barely me you should be worried about," Yuta said with a laugh, but it wasn't a happy laugh. What did he mean? Why did he sound sad? Who else was there to be worried about?

What if Yuta had lied? What if Jeno wasn't stabilized at all, and would die anyway, soon?

Immediately after thinking it, Doyoung shook that thought off. Impossible. Yuta wouldn't lie to him, especially not if it was for something he knew was special to Doyoung. He barely believed Yuta harbored any feelings for him in return, but Yuta was a good person. He wouldn't lie about something as important as Jeno's health. Not only for Doyoung's sake, also because he was aware of Jaemin's feelings.

"You mean Doyoung hyung?" Jaemin then asked, and it was quiet. Jaemin nor Yuta said anything else, Doyoung only heard an affirmative humming. He assumed Yuta had nodded, or possibly shaken his head. Though... he had probably nodded. If he hadn't, Doyoung was sure Jaemin would've asked further.

Doyoung needed a minute to let that sink in. Yuta was worried for Doyoung, had just told Jaemin about as well. Considering how the conversation had ended, Doyoung assumed Jaemin agreed with him, and taking the conversation he assumed they'd held before that into account, it was probably about Jeno leaving him.

"I don't want to leave him alone," Yuta then said, tone of his voice quiet. Still, Doyoung could hear that he was... not happy, saying it. "Not only because- he just... doesn't deserve to be alone. If Jeno does leave him behind here... I wouldn't judge. I think I might've left as well, were I in his shoes. I just..."

"You don't want to leave him behind as well," Jaemin said softly, filling in the blanks Yuta had left opened. Doyoung heard a sigh, and an even softer confirmation. Then, the two continued discussing, but Doyoung couldn't hear it anymore. They'd lowered their voices even further, making Doyoung unable to understand what they were saying. Also, Doyoung was frozen.

Yuta didn't want to leave him behind.

What did that mean? Did he... could he possibly mean something to Yuta? Did he just mean he'd feel bad taking only one of the brothers with them, or did he actually want Doyoung to come with them?

Doyoung was confused. He knew very well what his own feelings were telling him, what they wanted him to believe. Yet, his brain was loudly going against it, telling him there was no way on this earth Yuta actually wanted to spend more time with him, would want Doyoung to leave his duties and home behind and spend the rest of his life with Yuta.

Doyoung wasn't sure what to think, anymore. He knew he loved Yuta, that was for sure, but was he ready to even think about spending the future with Yuta?

Stop. He couldn't even let himself consider that. He couldn't. Even if Yuta did want him, did like or maybe even love him back (the chance was absolutely minimal, but just to consider all possibilities...), Doyoung would never be able to actually leave the castle and his future behind. He simply couldn't. He might've been a regular human, and Yuta a witch, making Yuta stronger than him, but in the human world he was of immense status. A firstborn crown prince, about to be crowned as king. 

There was simply no place for him as occupant of the world outside of the castle. All he had and would have to do with it, was reign over them and protect them. He wouldn't be able to do that if Jeno left, if his parents stepped down, if Doyoung was left as the only person possible to take responsibility and rise to the throne.

He had his duties, and all he could do was respond to them, do the best he could in the future that was reserved for him.

Still, just hearing Yuta say or even imply that he cared for Doyoung, would feel bad about him being alone, made Doyoung feel more than he knew he was supposed to.

Desperate for someone to talk to, Doyoung ran, not even bothering to be quiet so Yuta and Jaemin wouldn't hear him. He ran, and ran, and wasn't surprised when he found himself in front of Jeno's room. He pushed his way inside and hurried to lie down next to a still unmoving Jeno.

There, instantly comforted by the warmth coming off of Jeno's body, the regular rising and falling of his chest and stable sounds of his breathing, Doyoung let himself break down.

He didn't cry. He'd cried enough, the past two weeks. Way too often for his liking, so he kept it in. Instead, he let the emotions flow, in the form of words, clear and loud, unworried. He was very aware anyone could enter the room at any time, but that was the least of his worries.

He talked, and talked, then talked even more, until his throat hurt and his stomach had rumbled more than a few times. He wasn't even sure if he was talking to himself or to Jeno, though he had to admit the feeling of someone else being in the room, however unresponsive and unhearing, was comforting.

He talked about his worries, how alone he'd felt, especially in the beginning. Back when neither of them knew what was going on, when Jeno's health condition slowly got worse and worse and no one had an explanation or reason for it. When the countless doctors his parents had bothered to summon to the castle collectively agreed that Jeno should stay in bed as much as possible, and his parents transferred the brunt of Jeno's care (which meant everything but the expences) to Doyoung and retreated back into their roles of perfect king and queen.

When Doyoung, just barely aged twenty, ended up all alone in a way too big castle with a deadly ill brother, and a cook, some servants and a handful of doctors who knew even less of what was wrong with Jeno than Doyoung himself.

He talked about how hopeless and helpless and useless he'd felt as his own little brother's state kept getting worse. He did everything he could. Or at least, he thought. Then, he talked about how much he'd been doubting himself the last months. If he got this hung up on his brother, would he be able to handle taking care of an entire kingdom? If he wasn't able to cure his own brother, could he guarantee health and safety to the rest of the kingdom? If he had to keep relying on his parents' money, could he manage finances by himself when it was his turn to take the throne?

Then, Yuta had appeared, and for the first time in months, those doubts had fallen away, if only a little bit. Doyoung talked, went on and on about how Yuta distracted him from his responsibilities. How Yuta finally made him feel like the person he'd been before Jeno fell sick again, made him feel like the twenty year old he still was. Made him feel guilty for being happy about that, since it wasn't what he was probably supposed to be doing.

He told Jeno about the promise Yuta had made. Told Jeno about the times Yuta let Doyoung express his emotions, let him feel, let him cry it out into his shoulder. Let Doyoung be a human being. He told Jeno about the conflicting feelings that began to arise not long after his promise, how they'd made him doubt everything, made him worry about things he'd forgotten about in the earlier week.

He talked the longest about Yuta's compassion, and kindness. About all the times Yuta had sacrificed something for Doyoung, had done something important for both him and Jeno, had let Doyoung feel like himself again. He told Jeno about how terrified he'd been when Yuta nearly gave his life for Doyoung, how he'd pulled him back from the edge only hours later.

He told Jeno in exact detail how and why his quite... dubious feelings for Yuta had harbored into love, an emotion Doyoung had known before but never to this extent.

He loved Jeno, endlessly, yet the love he felt for Yuta was undeniably different. More sweet. More critical, as well. His love for Jeno was a brotherly love, one where he'd keep one eye closed for the mistakes Jeno made and always treated him well, wanted to take care of him. He knew Yuta wasn't perfect, in no way. He was aggravating, and self-sacrificial, and straightforward. None were necessarily bad qualities, but ones that could be harmful if too strong. Yuta probably had way more bad or annoying qualities than Doyoung knew of, but he simply hadn't been around him for long enough.

He told Jeno about somewhere, deep down in him, he wanted Yuta to stay. Wanted nothing more than to get to learn about everything that made up Yuta, and who he was. Wanted to get to know every little detail about him, wanted Yuta to do the same with him as well.

Then, when he finally arrived at the last part, he told Jeno about his latest struggles.

He had to become king. That was his duty. His responsibility, simply what he was supposed to do, whether he wanted to or not. It wasn't that Doyoung didn't want to, really. He was just very much dreading every consequence that came with it.

No more Yuta, no more Jaemin, no more Jeno. Marrying someone he didn't love and would never love, probably, if only to keep the bloodline going. Stay at the castle all alone, his parents undoubtedly leaving him to his own devices as well. The only one he'd have left was Taeyong, but he was sure he wouldn't have much time to see him when he became king and would be drowning in responsibilities. (Maybe he should let Taeyong go as well. He deserved to be free, much more than Doyoung, who had been raised to this purpose.)

Finally done talking, Doyoung let out a big breath and closed his eyes. Seconds later, a soft hand, carding through his hair.

Doyoung shot up. He was sure there had been no one else in the room than him and Jeno, who could-

Jeno was awake.

Doyoung turned around and automatically, his hands flew up to cover his mouth, tears immediately brimming at the corners of his eyes. He swallowed them harshly, and flung himself into Jeno's open arms. The younger let out a soft, tired chuckle, and Doyoung felt like a huge pack had just fallen off his shoulders.

Jeno was alive. Alive and well, and smiling, and in Doyoung's arms. Considering Doyoung hadn't been all there during his storytelling, he wasn't sure when exactly Jeno had woken up. The sad look deep in his eyes when Doyoung pulled back, however, told him Jeno had heard enough. He hadn't meant to burden Jeno, but he calmed his thoughts by telling himself Jeno was probably the best person he could've gone to.

The kid was really just that, a child, only slightly overgrown by now and terribly skinny. Still, Jeno was surprisingly mature for his age. Doyoung knew and hated that it was mostly because of their strict upbringing, but in moments like these he was glad for it.

"How are you feeling?" Doyoung asked when he sat back up, Jeno's hands tightly clutched in his own.

"Exhausted," Jeno croaked back in reply. Doyoung leaned over to help him sit up a bit to drink some water, which Jeno gladly accepted.

"You- We almost lost you there," Doyoung said softly, and Jeno nodded.

"I felt it coming, but you weren't there," Jeno replied. Doyoung nodded back, just barely repressing a wave of guilt. They'd been out for a good reason. It was all for Jeno, and in the end he survived. He'd just have to remember that. Jeno was alive. They made it.

"Hyung," Jeno then said, taking short breaks between every few words. It was obvious he was physically absolutely broken up over the ordeals of the past days, and it hurt Doyoung immensely to see how much effort just talking was taking Jeno. However, he was alive, and he had something to tell Doyoung. He'd just have to listen.

"You keep talking about... about responsibilities, and duties, hyung," Jeno continued slowly, "but what are they?"

"You know this, Jeno," Doyoung replied sadly. He hated his duties, but his position was too important. There was no opportunity for them to ignore them. "I- I want to ask you something first. If... Would you say yes if Jaemin asked you to come with you after you're fully healed?"

Doyoung was sure the smile that appeared on Jeno's face was completely spontaneous, and his heart warmed. "He's so special, hyung," Jeno said in a whisper. He blinked slowly, and he looked like he was on the brink of falling asleep again, but his eyes were bright and happy. "I... I'd love nothing more than to go with him, but- I couldn't possibly leave you here."

"What if I gave you explicit permission to say yes?" Doyoung asked, hoping the shake he felt in his hands wasn't too prominent in his voice. "I just want you to be happy, Jeno, and you won't be happy staying here."

Jeno looked at Doyoung for a while, his eyelids drooping every now and then. "I want to," he then said, and Doyoung knew he'd heard enough. Jeno would be leaving with Yuta and Jaemin, no doubt about it.

"Your duties, hyung," Jeno then spoke up, voice becoming slurred, "you... they don't define you. I'm sure you- you can become a great king, really, but not the best you could be if your heart isn't in it. Just one time, hyung. Think about it. Do you want to become the king?"

That stilled Doyoung. Did he want to become king? Like, genuinely? Not just because he didn't mind the idea, because he'd gotten used to the idea of ending up alone already, because he'd grown accustomed to the lifestyle it would bring?

He had been so occupied with Jeno's care and health, and then Yuta and Jeno's healing process that he'd never taken the time to consider what he wanted. It had always just been what he was supposed to want, what he was supposed to agree with, what he would just do when he turned of age. Simple as that.

"It's never too late to find someone else," Jeno muttered, "I know you, hyung. You don't want to be alone. It's okay to be selfish, sometimes."

He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to let Jeno, and Yuta and Jaemin go. He didn't want to be left behind. He wanted them to stay, wanted to stay with them. Wanted to go with them.

He didn't want to become king, if letting all those things go would come with it.

"It's your duty, your future, hyung," Jeno whispered, no more than ten seconds away from unconsciousness. Doyoung let him go. He needed the rest. Jeno's eyes didn't fully close until he'd finished his last sentence.

"It's up to you. Change your fate."

Doyoung nodded to himself and pressed a long kiss onto Jeno's forehead. Then, he got up and made his way out of the room. He nearly bumped into Jaemin on his way out, and smiled at the boy.

"He woke up just now," he said to Jaemin, "but he said he was exhausted. Let him get some rest, then maybe try to finalize everything."

Jaemin smiled giddily and skipped up to Jeno, changing into his dog form somewhere halfway in his jump onto the bed, immediately curling up on Jeno's side. Doyoung smiled at the sight and turned back to the door. He didn't acknowledge Yuta standing next to the door when he passed by him, sure that he'd either break down or spill everything to Yuta by just looking him in the eyes. He quickly pushed past the servants behind Yuta, and hurried to his room.

 _"Change your fate"._ He sure had a lot of thinking to do. 


	17. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> needed a bit of extra time after the extra update last time (aka i cant think of a better excuse)  
> lots of doyu. im afraid its getting a bit boring, literally the same shit every chapter, but there arent many chapters left and the last few are all quite different so. hope itll become better. also hope you like this anyway. leave shit if you do xoxo!!

Doyoung, after going to his own room, took a long bath to overthink everything Jeno had said. He wasn't sure for how long he remained in there, attempting to soak away all his problems behind closed doors. It didn't work much.

When he got out of the tub, he sent the servants that came closer to help him dress away. He was used to having servants around him, but it wasn't great for when you really wanted to be alone. Most of the time, Doyoung was fine with it. It was their job, after all, to tend to him, despite being perfectly able to do all those things they did by himself. It gave dozens of people jobs, and they had all come to the castle themselves or were born there. Doyoung had grown up with most of them, and it didn't bother him anymore. Except for now.

After quickly dressing himself in light, comfortable clothes, he left the bathing room and laid down under the blankets on his bed. He had a lot to think about, still. He didn't want to, but there was no more escaping them. The day Yuta would have to leave, and now Jeno as well, was coming closer and closer. He'd pushed addressing the issues for a long time, but there was simply no time left. It was now, or never.

Jeno's words before he fell back asleep had also done quite a number on Doyoung. He wasn't used to Jeno being the one taking care of him, being the one to console Doyoung, as he had always been the older brother. The caregiver. Jeno had, however, completely changed that up and given Doyoung advice. It didn't happen often, so Doyoung felt like he couldn't ignore it.

He wished he could, though. What Jeno had told him didn't exactly lighten the burden he was already carrying. Doyoung knew like no other that Jeno only wanted what was best for Doyoung, but unlike Doyoung, he didn't care much for their royal duties. Doyoung admired that, but he couldn't just ignore his duties himself. If Jeno chose for his own happiness, that meant Doyoung was left to pick up the pieces after him. He didn't mind that at all, but Jeno insinuating that Doyoung as well would be able to choose for himself, that he could find another way out, made his head spin.

Choose your own fate, Jeno had said. Doyoung knew what he meant. Either find someone else to take over Doyoung's duties for him, or just leave the castle and let his parents fix it. Both options sounded very tempting, but Doyoung didn't know if he'd pick either. Especially not the second. While it would be extremely satisfying to just drop everything and let his parents figure everything out, like they'd done to him when Jeno fell ill, Doyoung didn't think he could do it. They were still his parents, and his sense of responsibility for the title of king and the kingdom were too strong to just ignore and leave behind like that.

That meant his only options were stay, and try his hardest to forget about the three to lead his kingdom as well as possible, or find a replacement, which would probably take just as much (though it would bring him much less emotional pain) time and effort. Both options sounded complicated, and Doyoung didn't know what to do.

Even if he decided to stay for the kingdom, he'd never be able to forget his own little brother. It would've been that way had they both been younger, but it was even stronger now that they'd both been on the brink of death, and had both only barely survived. Both saved by Yuta.

That lead him to a possibly just as impossible subject as letting Jeno go seemed to be. Forgetting Yuta, letting him go knowing they'd never meet again sounded like a nightmare. Even just thinking about it made Doyoung's heart clench in a feeling of unexplainable panic.

It felt stupid. Doyoung felt stupid, for feeling so strongly for Yuta. It had been two weeks since they'd met, at most. For at least one fourth of that time, Doyoung had been convinced he despised Yuta. He was even kind of happy when Yuta promised he'd be out of Doyoung's hair in two weeks. Now, all Doyoung could feel was regret and disappointment, both mostly in himself.

Disappointment, because yes, they'd been through a lot together, and had formed a close bond. Still, he was letting his emotions get the worst of him. He didn't even know if Yuta, despite most likely also feeling the bond, felt the same way Doyoung did. There were many different kinds of love. Even if Yuta felt any of those kinds for Doyoung, who was to say it was the romantic kind of love that had taken over Doyoung's mind?

He was the most regretful for wasting so many opportunities to get closer to Yuta. He could've been so much less hostile in the beginning, could've spent so many more nights next to Yuta, could've asked him even more, could've learnt even more from him. On the other hand, he also felt regretful for letting him get so close to Doyoung. If he hadn't let that happen, hadn't let his guards down so easily after the first few days, maybe he wouldn't have had to suffer so much in the end...

Doyoung heard the familiar click of the door behind him, and he turned on his back. He immediately turned back around when he saw it was Yuta who had entered his room.

"Hey," Yuta said. Doyoung didn't turn back around, but he could hear the shuffling sound of Yuta's footsteps come closer and closer to the bed. Then, it stopped, and he felt a presence at his back. Doyoung forced himself to stay with his face to the wall. He was afraid he'd get flustered, if he faced Yuta now, and give himself away.

The bed dipped, and a hand rested on his shoulder. Yuta had sat down on the edge, and softly leaned his side into Doyoung's back. Doyoung let him, but didn't acknowledge his presence, either.

"I-" Yuta stuttered out, "Jaemin and I have everything prepared. We'll- the last part of the cure is to be done tonight, when we've both gained some more energy. The last part is quite taxing."

Doyoung stayed quiet, but he felt pressure build behind his eyes. He wasn't supposed to be sad about this. Jeno would be healthy again. Finally, after so many months of clinging onto the last shards of hope, constantly wishing for a miracle and at the same time fearing and preparing for the worst possible outcome. This was supposed to be good. Doyoung was supposed to be happy.

He couldn't bring himself to be truly happy. He was glad Jeno would no longer be constricted to the bed, glad he'd be able to live his life to the fullest again, as he deserved. Basically every other aspect of this, however, was sad. Doyoung hated himself for being sad about it.

He realised he couldn't just keep ignoring Yuta, especially after everything he'd done for them, for him. He inhaled, long and shivery. "You fulfilled your promise," he then said, voice not more than a whisper. He knew Yuta had understood him, though.

He always did.

Yuta let out a soft laugh, and Doyoung's insides felt like they were burning up. "I said I would, right?" Yuta said, a fond tone to his voice. It did things to Doyoung's mind he despised, and he hardly managed to repress a shiver.

"Thank you," he said. It didn't sound very genuine. Doyoung was sure Yuta knew. He also wouldn't be surprised if Yuta knew why. It didn't bother him anymore. It wasn't like it'd change anything.

Yuta hummed in answer, and stood up. Immediately, the bed felt too light, and Doyoung's back and shoulder too cold.

If he had so little time with them all left, anyway, who would he be to not let himself indulge in the last days a bit?

And so, he called out a hesitant "Yuta?", in hopes he'd stay with him. At least a little bit longer. Just a little bit. "Please stay? Just until it's time," Doyoung explained, "no longer, I promise. I just... don't want to be alone. Not right now."

To Doyoung's relief, the footsteps returned, and he felt a heavy weight fall off his shoulders when Yuta slipped in under the blankets behind Doyoung. Doyoung turned around, and decided to let himself ignore his decency and shame for once, and moved closer to Yuta. Yuta laughed warmly, and wrapped an arm around Doyoung's waist, pulling him even closer. Doyoung loved it.

Being in Yuta's embrace was the single most comfortable place on earth to be in, he then decided. As well as Jeno's, but right now Yuta was closer. Way closer than probably decent, for a crown prince. Doyoung didn't care. He'd go back to being a proper prince in the morning. For now, he'd let himself have this. Have Yuta.

With his face buried in Yuta's tunic, sure Yuta wouldn't be able to see him, Doyoung allowed a few tears to slip. He hated crying, and he had been doing way too much of it, but... Yuta made him feel things he couldn't explain. Even more than that, Yuta made him feel like it was okay to feel those things. It was dangerous, but also so, so comforting.

Only seconds later, Yuta's arm moved up from Doyoung's waist to around his shoulders, pulling him even closer to Yuta. Then, Doyoung felt his hand go through his hair, and almost subconsciously he clutched Yuta's tunic in both hands, pulling him impossibly closer.

As tears kept dripping out of Doyoung's eyes, Yuta's fingers played with Doyoung's hair, petting his head every now and then. The air between felt thick enough to cut with a knife, but neither bothered to move back or address the tension. Yuta's movements in Doyoung's hair were repetitive and soft, and so, so gentle a new wave of tears hit Doyoung like a freight train.

Yuta was being so gentle, so sweet with him, and all Doyoung could think about was how much he'd miss it. How much he'd miss Yuta, would miss having him at arm's length at all times as he'd had most of the time they'd spent together. And all that despite Doyoung's constant mistrust, and drama, and crying, and- Doyoung definitely didn't deserve him.

"I'm so sorry," he croaked out, sniffling pathetically, "I feel like all I've been doing the past two weeks is cry on you."

Yuta was quick to shush him by muffling his face in his chest, using the hand in his hair to pull Doyoung's head closer to his body. "Don't even think about apologizing for something like that," Yuta scolded him, but his tone was friendly, "you must've needed it."

Doyoung stayed quiet and willed himself to stop crying, finally, for god's sake. Luckily, he succeeded pretty quickly. When he tried to pull back from Yuta a bit, Yuta kept a tight hold on him, making him unable to escape from his embrace. Doyoung huffed with full intent to at least make it seem like he was annoyed, but Yuta quickly pricked through that.

"Come on, let's just enjoy this for a while," Yuta said, his voice so soft Doyoung wasn't even sure he himself was supposed to hear. He decided to give it to Yuta and not comment on it, and gladly turned his head to rest his cheek on Yuta's chest.

They lied there for what felt like a full day, but was most likely only an hour. Then, Doyoung decided he'd let himself rest for long enough, and resolutely pulled back again. This time Yuta let him. (Doyoung didn't see the flash of disappointment in Yuta's eyes when he got up from the bed.)

"Yuta?" Doyoung asked, and Yuta hummed to let Doyoung know he was listening. "I- If you really heal Jeno tonight... Please stay two more nights, so he can gain some strength and I'll have some time to take care of the details about the prince leaving the castle."

"Of course," Yuta said. Doyoung had been furiously ignoring every single thing that might've hinted at Yuta feeling the same way Doyoung felt for a full week, but even then it was impossible to ignore the obvious intent behind those words. After all Yuta had done for Doyoung already, without ever asking for anything other than a place to sleep in return. Doyoung wouldn't even have been surprised, had Yuta said out loud what he was clearly thinking: I'd do anything if you asked for it.

It meant a lot to Doyoung. So, so much it hurt. Maybe it was better that Yuta didn't say those words out loud.

"Thank you," Doyoung said, positive a similar intent was laced through his own voice.

He was pretty sure that if Yuta explicitly asked him to come with them, he would. He'd find a way. Right now, he was just still too unsure of everything and any possibility, and whether those possibilities were even real or not.

"Let's go fix up your brother," Yuta replied in a joking tone, also getting up from the bed. He was about to walk out of the door right away, but Doyoung stopped him with a frown.

"You're so messy," he muttered, and quickly busied his hands to fix Yuta's hair and tunic. If he let his hands linger on Yuta's skin a bit longer than possibly appropriate for a crown prince, no one would have to know. It was only the two of them in the room. No one would know, other than Yuta and him.

It felt domestic. Painfully so. Doyoung hurried to finish, and then stormed out of the room. Cuddling while he was crying was one thing, but fixing his clothes and hair afterwards to make him look presentable afterwards felt somehow even more intimate. Like... something you'd only do for someone who you held dear. A significant other, romantic partner. Yuta was neither, and Doyoung needed to remember that.

Yuta easily caught up to him in the hallways, but didn't say a word. Doyoung didn't doubt he felt the tension between them as well. Doyoung also wouldn't be very surprised if Yuta was just as scared to address it as Doyoung, out of fear of damaging or breaking the delicate bond that was between them right now. However, before they entered Jeno's door, Yuta grabbed Doyoung's wrist and forced him to stand still beside him. Confused, Doyoung turned to him to ask if something was wrong.

Before he could utter a word, Yuta's lips pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead, and it took everything in Doyoung's power not to combust right there. "Take care, alright? Think of yourself first, for once," Yuta muttered, and Doyoung struggled to swallow. He nodded, his eyes turned to the floor.

Yuta could always read him too well. It was dangerous. Doyoung loved it.

Inside, Jaemin had gotten up from Jeno's bed and was busying himself arranging herbs and vials with fluids in it. "Will Jeno have to drink any of those?" Doyoung asked curiously. He had seen Yuta do magic, but never on Jeno. He was extremely curious to see how the healing process really worked.

"No," Yuta replied shortly, but Doyoung didn't take the short reply to heart. Yuta was already fiddling around with the vials and a book that Doyoung hadn't seen before. Doyoung assumed he was already in work mode. It was admirable. Also, Yuta looked handsome when he was concentrated, the beautifully colored aura's swirling picking up again. This time, he could see Jaemin's as well. He assumed that, as both humans, Jeno's was too weak for Doyoung's untrained eyes to see. He didn't mind. He wasn't exactly keen on finding out what an ill person's aura looked like.

Yuta quickly got to work, but even Doyoung could see that the aura's movement wouldn't pick up as it had on the earlier times he'd watched Yuta do magic. Then, he remembered what Yuta had told him about magical energy. Doyoung moved a hand up to his chest to feel the space just above his heart. The charms were still there.

A bit unsure about his idea, he walked up to Yuta and tapped his shoulder. The look in Yuta's eyes as he turned around to Doyoung was frustrated and annoyed, but Doyoung knew it wasn't aimed at him. Doyoung hesitated for a second, and then took off the charms he'd been wearing. Not having them on him felt strange, and uncomfortable. Almost naked. But, if this could possibly help Yuta, he'd be able to bear that for a little while.

"Isn't it possible that there's still energy stored in these?" Doyoung asked, tilting his head to emphasize the question. "And if not, feel free to use mine."

"Yours?" Jaemin echoed, and Doyoung nodded.

"My energy," he explained, "I can see Yuta's aura. The magic isn’t really working, right? If you're able to, use my energy."

Yuta looked hesitant, but Doyoung had made up his mind. "Are you really sure I can?" Yuta asked, and Doyoung nodded once more, holding his hand out for Yuta to take.

"You've done so much," he said, trying to not let his relief too much as Yuta grabbed his outstretched hand in one hand and Doyoung's offered charms in the other. "Let me help in some way. If this is the way I can do it, I will."

Yuta laughed incredulously, but didn't protest again. "You're absolutely insane," Yuta said, and Doyoung thought back to the day Doyoung had said those words to Yuta. Right after Yuta had nearly given his life for Doyoung. Doyoung scoffed, and the slightly embarrassed grin on Yuta's face told Doyoung Yuta remembered as well.

Then, Yuta took a deep breath. "Well," he said, his voice slightly unstable. Doyoung squeezed his hand once, and Yuta squeezed back right away. Jaemin took his other hand, and closed his eyes. "Let's get started."


	18. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit short chapter cause i focused all my energy on the epilogue which is. now finished. kinda doing it the wrong way aroun but the epilogue was kinda the first thing i wrote before i even started on the fic and i recently edited it and stuff so. its very long. sorry for this chapter. also um the reason its so short is cause the epilogue turned out way bigger than expected and im kinda. aiming for a perfectly rounded 70K words??? so the next 2 will be just as short but the last one huge :D

Doyoung wiggled his fingers a bit to test the grip Jaemin and Yuta had on his hands. When he was satisfied, he took a last deep breath, nodded and closed his own eyes as well. "I'm ready".

He wasn’t. Nothing in the whole world could've ever prepared him for this experience. Seeing magic, feeling it from a distance was powerful, dangerous. Something not many could say they'd gotten the chance to experience. But... feeling magic actually flow through you, to see the swirling auras brighter than ever before, to see them swirl around you was certainly a whole new experience. Doyoung loved it.

He felt his own energy leave his body, sure, but it didn't feel like too much at any point of the energy transfer Jaemin and Yuta performed on him. Doyoung knew they were gentle, they were being careful with him because he wasn't used to experiencing magic, and he appreciated it. This way, he was able to really, properly experience it, witness it happening.

He wasn't too sure what Yuta was doing with the magic. He was mumbling to himself almost feverishly, and Doyoung could see drops of sweat form on his temples. Doyoung knew he'd never truly know what doing magic and healing people was like. Seeing Yuta perform his healing magic, at its last stage... He had no idea what was going on, and what the words Yuta was saying meant or what they were doing, but he loved being a part of it.

When he finally let go of Doyoung's hand, Jaemin guided him to a big chair. It wasn't until he finally sat down that he noticed how much the magic had drained him, and he struggled to keep his eyes open. This was the final part before his brother would be healthy again. Yuta had given him such a special opportunity to be there for it, to actually be part of that healing process... He couldn't let a second of it go to waste.

The entire process felt like hours to Doyoung, but it probably was just the exhaustion talking. A while later, Jaemin slowly relaxed and sat down in the seat next to Doyoung. Yuta walked over to Jeno and probably checked something, fingertips gentle on Jeno's temples, before he joined them in a bigger seat. All three were too tired to be embarrassed about their proximity and intimate positions. Doyoung, somewhere deep in the rational part of his mind, knew they were cuddling (again). He and Yuta, that was. Doyoung was leaning his head on Yuta's shoulder, and Yuta had sprawled his legs out over Doyoung's lap. Doyoung decided to just let it be. They were tired. It'd probably be over soon, anyway.

While the magic felt like hours but wasn't, Doyoung was sure waiting for Jeno to wake up was taking actual hours. The seconds and minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly, and only Jaemin seemed to not be on the brink of passing out from exhaustion. He'd slept a lot, after all, with Doyoung. Maybe... maybe if Doyoung slept, just for a little while, his energy would be back when he woke up. He was still lying on Yuta's shoulder, and while it was a bit bony, he was also leaning his side against the other's chest, and with everything together he was very, very comfortable.

Maybe... maybe just a minute.

When he woke up, Yuta was gone, and Jaemin had taken his usual place on Jeno's bed. When Doyoung stirred, he perked up, and bounded over to the chair to sit down beside Doyoung.

"Did you sleep well, hyung?" he asked in a hushed voice, barely masking excitement. Doyoung didn't want to ruin it for him by asking what there was to be excited about, so he held back.

"How long was I out for?" Doyoung asked in response.

"Oh, just a few hours," Jaemin replied, "you looked very cozy, but Yuta hyung went to clean up and you woke up right after. Are you reenergized?"

Doyoung nodded, unwilling to comment on Jaemin's... observations. It was embarrassing, to say the least. He had lied close to Yuta before, and every time he had refused to talk about it, more or less. To have Jaemin, someone so incredibly close to Yuta, witness it himself... It was embarrassing.

"Yuta hyung likes you a lot, did you know?" Jaemin continued, unbothered by Doyoung's lack of response. "You know, the magic thing? He never shares that except with me, really. I've never seen him lend energy from anyone. It's a very intimate process that you couldn't do with just anyone. You're special to him, hyung!"

God. Doyoung was sure Jaemin had no sense of shame or decency at all. At least, not when it came to Doyoung and Yuta and the feelings and apparently obvious tension between them. Doyoung hated that he liked the things Jaemin was telling him. He liked hearing that he was special to Yuta, but he hated himself for it. He hated himself for blushing, for wanting to hear more.

"You know you're always welcome to come with us as well, right?" Jaemin continued, and if it wasn't for a quiet groan coming from Jeno's bed, Doyoung would've slapped a hand over his mouth to keep Jaemin from saying more. It hurt, to hear him say things like that. Doyoung knew he was welcome, he knew he could go with them. But he couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't.

Wait. Sounds, coming from Jeno. Doyoung, now very grateful they'd let him get a few hours of sleep to reenergize, shot up from his seat and was at Jeno's bedside in no time. From the pillow, Jeno was- he was awake, and looking up at him with a tired smile. He looked exhausted, which was... not surprising, but there was a happy glint in his eyes. Doyoung knew enough, and without wasting another second he bent down to pull Jeno into a tight hug. He nearly lost himself in his emotions for what could've been the hundreth time when he, for the first time in months, felt Jeno's arms move up and around his shoulders to hug him back.

Doyoung held him close for what felt like seconds, but was probably at least a minute. Jaemin didn't interrupt them once, and Doyoung was grateful for that. Jaemin could have his time soon enough. Now, Doyoung just needed some time to hold his baby brother as close to him as possible, needed the space to do that.

After another minute, he started to feel a strain in his back and slowly stood back up, moving the chair to sit beside Jeno. Then, he motioned for Jaemin to come closer. A thought struck him, and he smiled at Jaemin.

"Nana, didn't you... have something to ask Jeno?" he said softly, smiling at the way Jaemin's eyes widened. He was right before: he'd need to give Jaemin explicit permission to ask Jeno, or he wouldn't do it just to take Doyoung's feelings into consideration, which they both shouldn't have to. Doyoung was a grown man, now. He'd be able to handle himself.

"Jeno, I-" Jaemin began, and Jeno hummed to urge Jaemin to continue. Doyoung sat back, and smiled to himself. They'd be fine. He'd be fine as well, some day.

"I'm- Jeno, you're really special to me," Jaemin continued, somehow having scraped together a bit more confidence. "Like, super extra special, and... well, I've told you about the choosing already. And... If you'd accept, I'd like for my choice to be _you_."

Doyoung felt his smile grow. That was... sweet. Sweeter than he'd imagined it to be. Jeno seemed to indeed understand exactly what choosing him meant, and his expression brightened considerably. He opened his mouth to reply, but then seemed to be doubting his decision. For a split second, he looked hesitant to answer, and Doyoung immediately understood why as he turned to look at Doyoung, a question clear in his eyes.

Doyoung didn't need to hear it. He didn't even want to hear it. All he wanted was for Jeno to be happy, to have freedom. Jaemin could give him that, better than Doyoung would ever be able to. So, he nodded.

Then, Jeno turned his head to the door, and Doyoung followed his gaze. His eyes fell upon Yuta, who just reentered the room. With one quick look around the room and at the nervosity in Jaemin's face, he understood what was going on, smiled and nodded as well. Then, Jeno finally seemed satisfied.

Meanwhile, Jaemin had turned his eyes to the sheets, and was mindlessly picking on the fabric with his fingernails. Doyoung felt sorry for him. This was so important to him, as it was something that could change his entire future, a deciding moment in finding out what the rest of his life would look like and who he'd spend it with, and Jeno still hadn't answered. Doyoung was about to reach out to comfort him, when Jeno beat him to it.

Jeno, with some effort, reached out and took Jaemin's hands in his. Jaemin looked up, and Doyoung easily identified the look on his face as anxiety and hope. A terrifying, crippling mix Doyoung hated with a passion. Jeno smiled at Jaemin, and some of it seemed to clear up.

"I'd love to- be the one you choose," Jeno then said, voice barely audible. Jaemin heard it anyway, and tears immediately jumped to his eyes. He moved forward, slower and more gentle than Doyoung had ever seen him.

With Yuta and Doyoung as onlookers, Jaemin shyly shared his first kiss with Jeno.

It lasted barely a few seconds, but Jeno had flushed a bright red and had a wide grin on his face. Jaemin was still crying, but they were happy tears. Both looked so incredibly happy, and Doyoung hated that he couldn't feel as happy as them. He wanted to cheer for them, wanted to celebrate with them, wanted to give them both a big hug and congratulate them. He wished he could send them off to live a happy life, with the best wishes. He _couldn't._ Never genuinely.

Not because he wasn't happy for them, that was not at all the case. No, the problem was the filthy voice in Doyoung's mind that kept reminding him he'd never have that. The voice that told him he'd stay here, alone and miserable, and that they'd run off to live a happy future, together, and take the person he loved with them. The voice that told him he was in the rightful position to feel jealous, that it would be only natural. The voice that Doyoung wished didn't exist, but still held so, _so_ much power over him.

Both Jaemin and Jeno seemed to notice something was up, and they quickly moved away from each other, sharing a look. Doyoung sent them another smile that was supposed to be reassuring, but it felt more like a grimace. Jeno frowned, and turned to Yuta.

"Yuta hyung, can I please talk alone with my brother for a while?" he asked, voice only slightly stronger than before. Yuta looked back and forth between Doyoung and Jeno a few times, but didn't say anything as he left the room. Jaemin pressed a cute peck onto Jeno's (already bright red) cheek, and went after Yuta.

When the door closed behind them, Jeno did not beat around the bush. With his wide eyes, he looked up to Doyoung, and asked "you're in love with Yuta hyung, right?"

If Doyoung had been drinking or eating anything, he would've choked on it and made a show out of it for dramatic effect, but he wasn't, so he had to settle with choking on his own spit. He coughed loudly a few times, and Jeno rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"I can see the look in your eyes when you look at him, hyung," Jeno said, explaining, "and you looked so sad when Nana- when he confessed to me. You know I asked you for permission, right? I wouldn't leave you if you didn't want me to."

"Don't think about me for a second," Doyoung huffed out, "think about your own happiness! You won't be happy in the castle when you could just as well be out there with Jaemin, and you know it. I'll be fine."

"Doesn't that count for you as well, then?" Jeno asked right back, voice gentle. There was clear worry laced through it, and Doyoung hated it. People worrying about him only made this harder. He'd just have to get through this on his own, he'd be fine! "Also, you're avoiding my question, hyung."

"Would it change anything if I said I did?" Doyoung asked in response, already tired of the conversation. He was tired of thinking about Yuta, sick of talking about him and Doyoung's feelings for him already. Yes, he was doing a terrible job at dealing with the situation, but thinking about it only made it hurt more. He was tired of it.

"Hyung, please just tell me again why you think you can't be _happy_?" Jeno asked. The desperation in his voice made Doyoung feel even worse. Jeno was trying so hard to be there for him, even though he only just woke up, and Doyoung was only being grumpy in return.

"I can," he replied, "just not with you guys. I need to stay true to my duty, live up to the expectations. I can't just leave. I have responsibilities."

It was quiet for a while, and Doyoung sighed. The last thing he wanted was to make Jeno feel bad, so he moved to stand up. If he just called Yuta and Jaemin back into the room, the conversation would be over, and Jeno could be with Jaemin. Both would win.

"Don't run away from me, hyung," Jeno said, "you- you're so willing to give up everything for my happiness, but it's not fair to you. I know you, hyung. You love him."

Don't run away from me. For some reason, those words hurt even more than thinking about his future, and with a defeated sigh he let himself fall back onto the chair. "I do," he whispered, feeling the need to reply to Jeno. "I really do, so much. But it doesn't matter."

"But hyung, it _could_ matter!" Jeno tried once more, but Doyoung was resolute.

"I love him, and it won't ever work. I've... I've come to terms with it. More or less. You... please just be happy in my stead, alright?" he pleaded. It hurt. Every thought, every word hurt. He didn't want to love Yuta. It's not like he ever asked for it. The feelings were completely unwelcome. He didn't want to have this conversation any longer.

(What he didn't know, was that at the same time, Yuta and Jaemin were having an eerily similar conversation.)

They sat in silence for a while, color and life slowly returning to Jeno's face. He was re-energizing, and quickly. Doyoung knew it was because of the energy he'd given, and it satisfied him. At least he had done something useful in the entire process. All he'd done beside that was inconvenience Yuta, make things more difficult for Jaemin and Jeno and fall in love with someone he could never be with, ruining everything for himself as well.

He scoffed to himself, and forced himself to sit more upright. Then, finally, Yuta and Jaemin reentered the room. To Doyoung's immense relief, they focused their attention on Jeno right away. Doyoung didn't want to run away, didn't want to leave Jeno's side, but he mentally didn't have the energy or willpower to talk to anyone at that moment.

"Can you walk yet?" Yuta asked, and Jaemin instantly was at Jeno's side, assisting him in carefully folding the blankets and helping him stand up. Wordlessly, Doyoung moved himself to the background, only stepping forward again when Jeno didn't make it more than three steps with Jaemin's help.

"Use more of my energy," he said, hating how cold and sad his voice sounded. Yuta looked like he wanted to protest. So did Jeno, but Doyoung did not take no for an answer. When the transfer was done and Jeno could walk more than ten steps without help, Doyoung wordlessly left the room.

The three of them would be living together in the future. It was time for Doyoung to step back, let the three be alone.

Soon, they wouldn't be with him anymore. This was for the better. It was time for Doyoung to leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also 3K hits thats! insane wow!!


	19. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a bit excited. and impatient. i only have maybe 1500 words left to write in total, so expect the story to be finished before the end of next week. i personally kind of like this chapter despite its shortness. hope you do too.

For the rest of the evening, Doyoung stayed away from Jeno's room. It pained him to ignore his little brother like that when he was finally healed, something Doyoung had been hoping for and looking forward to for months. Still, he had told himself he'd have to leave them, and he should stay true to himself.

Somehow, however, it felt like by doing that, he was only betraying himself more. He couldn't get Jeno's words out of his head, the meaning of them constantly plaguing him. "You love him". If even Jeno, who had been in a deep sleep and sick for most of the time Yuta had been there, had seen that Doyoung loved Yuta, how could Yuta not have noticed? He hadn't said anything regarding it. That could either mean he was ignoring it, or that he wasn't upset about it.

Doyoung didn't want to think about it, but his mind kept going back there anyways. He couldn't help it. Jeno's words had planted yet another seed in his head, and the results were starting to show. Just during that evening, Doyoung caught himself multiple times thinking about possible other options. Possible means for Doyoung to tell Yuta about his feelings, and go with them. That was, if Yuta returned them or, in the first place, didn't hate Doyoung for it.

The next morning, however, Doyoung knows it's time. This was their last day together, and Doyoung wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let Jeno go, just like that. Especially after they'd fought for Jeno's life together for such a long time, had spent their youths together, had always been close as brothers and closer as inseparable friends. Doyoung couldn't just ignore Jeno.

When Doyoung entered Jeno's room, he was relieved to see it was empty, safe for Jeno sitting on the edge of the bed. Doyoung carefully closed the door behind him, and say down next to Jeno. "How are you feeling?" he asked to break the silence.

Jeno turned to lean against Doyoung's side, and he smiled tiredly, but happily. "A lot better than yesterday," he said, "but tired, still. I'll be able to travel tomorrow, though. I just need to rest as much as I can today."

Doyoung nodded, and moved Jeno so he could lie down on the bed again, and sat on top of the blankets beside him. "And with Jaemin, how's that? Did I miss anything important yesterday evening?"

Jeno sighed, and looked Doyoung in the eyes. "Not really. Nothing happened. And... I'm happy. I'm glad I got the opportunity to go with him. I- I really like him."

"Then  why do you look so sad about it?" Doyoung asked, trying to put on a joking tone to clear the mood. It didn't really work. Jeno just sighed again, not taking his eyes off Doyoung. Were it anyone else, Doyoung would've found it unnerving and annoying, but this was Jeno. Just Jeno. It shouldn't be. Still,he got the feeling Jeno was trying to read him, and it made him nervous.

"I'm just sad about leaving you here, hyung," Jeno said, his voice genuine, "I'm glad I get to be with Jaemin, but if it means leaving you on your own... I already  said yes to Jaemin, and I'm aware of how much that meant, so I  could never betray him to stay with you. I just wish you could come with us."

Doyoung sighed. "Wasn't I clear, Jeno?" he asked, feeling exhausted despite it still being only morning. "I can't. Its duty, responsibility, whatever else you want to call it. I have to stay here, can't leave the kingdom or my position. My fate has been set in stone for ages, Jeno. It's no use to wish it was otherwise, because there's no changing it. I wish there was."

Even to Doyoung's own ears, the explanation sounded like a weak excuse, like Doyoung was trying to convince himself even more than Jeno. Jeno heard it as well, and he knew Doyoung knew. "You're just saying that," Jeno said, and Doyoung could only nod.

He hadn't been able to sleep much, the night before, his mind constantly busy with opportunities, options, possibilities. How everything would have to work, what he'd have to do and give up for it, what it'd bring him. Doyoung hadn't managed to fall asleep until the sun was already starting to rise again, but he only slept a few hours. The second he woke up, his mind was busying itself again. Doyoung was tired of it.

If only he could just give up, listen to and believe his own words and supposed convictions. If only he was able to just accept and deal with the future his parents wanted and had crafted for him, this would've been much easier. Instead, he had let himself be influenced by Jeno and the hopeful thoughts he had implanted in Doyoung's mind, and he couldn't stop thinking about ways to do as Jeno said. Choose his own future. If it was an option for him to do so.

It wasn't like Doyoung wanted to stay in the castle. Not at all, even. He hated the castle, had felt imprisoned for most of his life. The only things keeping him sane had been the gardens, the exploring he got to do inside the castle with dozens of unused rooms, Jeno and Kun. Later, Taeyong was added to that. Those had always been the only things keeping him sane, inside the thick brick walls.

First, Kun left for his own kingdom when they were only fourteen. having his own responsibilities to start preparing for. Only years later, he was king. Then, his own preparatory classes were doubled, and he barely had time to go to the gardens anymore. Then, on top of that, Jeno fell ill, and he didn't have much time to go to the unused rooms by himself anymore either.

Then, Yuta had come. He'd brought life into the castle, him and Jaemin. In those two weeks, Doyoung had been able to fall in love, experience happiness and affection with someone other than his own brother, had taken someone to his best guarded secret, the throne room. He'd found joy in visiting the garden again.

Tomorrow, all of that would be gone. Yuta and Jaemin, and Jeno and everything else with them. The castle and Doyoung's rooms would still be there, but it'd be different, Doyoung knew that. They'd be empty again, void of life. Void of the laughter, void of tears or any other emotions. Just Doyoung, Taeyong (who was also busy enough with his own work, his own family), a handful servants Doyoung didn't even know the name of and an empty castle, about a hundred times too big for Doyoung.

Most people, most commoners would do anything to gain the riches Doyoung was about to possess, even just the castle he lived in. To Doyoung, it was worthless. If there was no one he loved to share it with. it was worthless. Yes, he'd be king, own a kingdom, rule over people, be the richest man in the kingdom, have the last word and the power over everyone in the kingdom. Yet, to Doyoung, his future only seemed dark. Emotion and affectionless, empty. Void of everything he had once loved.

"I've been thinking a lot," Doyoung said. "About everything. Yuta, your suggestions, the future." Jeno sat up, his back against the pillow, a hopeful expression on his face. Doyoung sent him a smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "It's really tough," he then continued, and Jeno nodded understandingly.

"I'm- What I've been thinking about the most is probably... the future, what it'll hold for me if I stay here. Alone. I can't stop thinking about the past, how we've always lived here, and how it really was," Doyoung said, talking slowly to try to stall a bit longer. He knew having this conversation now was important for both Jeno and himself, he just... wasn't sure how to phrase everything he was thinking. It was a lot. His head had been a mess lately, and putting everything into words proved more difficult than it should be.

"Just start at the beginning, hyung," Jeno said with a patient tone. "We have all night, take all the time you need."

Doyoung smiled gratefully, and nodded. "Fine, I will," he said, moving into a more comfortable position. "I'll start from... before everything. Before Yuta, before you fell ill. I... Well, I always had you by my side, so I liked it here." Doyoung sent Jeno a fond look. The younger took Doyoung's hand in his and squeezed it softly. "Remember when we'd run from the servants and teachers, and would go explore all hidden rooms and hallways?"

Jeno nodded, and his smile grew wider. "I remember that time we found that second basement! It looked like no one had been there for centuries, even though the castle isn't even centuries old yet."

Doyoung nodded as well, and sighed. "So many rooms to discover, so many hidden and empty hallways... It just shows how impossibly big the castle really is. Way too big for just us and a few servants. That was the one thing I always disliked about it," he said, mentally reminding himself to get back to what he was trying to tell Jeno. "I think, in a way, I've always hated the castle. It was just less bad because I had you there, and for the time they were present Kun and Taeyong.

Then- well, then everything went wrong. You fell ill, all responsibilities fell on my shoulders. I didn't mind much, because I was hopeful that you'd recover and be back soon enough, but you didn't. The workload kept getting heavier and bigger, but I had to take care of you and myself and still learn everything I'll need to know when I take over. Looking back to it now, I think it helped me cope a little bit. It made my life more difficult for those few months, sure, but I couldn't exactly dislike or complain about anything if I didn't even have time to after eating, crying, taking care of you and my other responsibilities."

Jeno's smile turned a bit sad, but Doyoung squeezed his hand. "Shh, I'm not done yet," he said, laughing. "Because... that was where Yuta came in." Jeno settled back into his pillows, readjusting himself. Doyoung could see the curious look in his eyes, and he repressed another laugh.

"You were still sick, and I was of course worried, but the first few days... God, I could've strangled Yuta. He bothered me so much, and I still think he noticed and was riling me up further on purpose, just to get a rise out of me. He's like that. Then, some things happened, and- First of all, he promised me he'd heal you, and for some reason I believed him right away, when all the other doctors before had promised as well and all failed. There was just something about him that made me want to trust him."

"And he fulfilled his promise," Jeno added. Doyoung grimaced.

"I wanted him out of my hair as soon as possible when he first made the promise, but as time progressed and more happened, we got closer, and it suddenly didn't seem so fun anymore to say goodbye to him again so soon," Doyoung said softly. "Did I tell you about the time he saved my life? And the time he nearly sacrificed his own for me? The time he let me see his most vulnerable side, let me see his auras while performing magic? The time he let me have his cloak while I slept because I was shivering? The time we cuddled? The time I had a dream about kissing him? The times he comforted me, let me break down only to catch me, supported me?"

After his... rant, Doyoung was panting softly, and Jeno's eyes were wide open. "Hyung," he said, sounding a bit shocked, "no, you never told me about any of those things. I- I'm even more sure now, hyung. You deserve this. Please, please for once consider your own happiness, and choose selfishly."

Doyoung sighed. "That's the hardest part," he confessed, bowing his head to look at the floor. "I wish it was that easy. And stop, I know what you want to say. 'It is that easy, just do it, you can be free'. Sure, deciding to leave the castle would be the easiest decision I'll ever have to make. But... I can't afford to be irresponsible when it comes to this. I can't just leave everything behind without making sure the castle and the kingdom will be taken care of when I'm not there, and I can't just leave that to anyone."

It was quiet for a while, both Doyoung and Jeno needing a few seconds to process everything. Doyoung felt a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction, though. He felt like there was supposed to be more, like he still hadn't told Jeno everything he had to say. This was, quite possibly, his last chance to speak with Jeno one on one, in complete privacy, no one overhearing or hurrying them. Doyoung needed to take this opportunirty.

"I never expected to have the chance to meet someone as wonderful as Yuta, however annoying he may be," Doyoung said. "I expected even less to fall in love with him ater such a short amount of time. It's ridiculous, if you really think about it. We've known each other for only a bit over two weeks. What's two weeks compared to a lifetime? Absolutely nothing. Still, with all we've experienced and been thorugh together, combining that with the unimaginable bonds the magic forges it was pretty inevitable."

Jeno's full attention was on Doyoung, which encouraged him to continue. "I've always, and especially in the past few months, been way too busy with everything my future was supposed to look like to really let myself experience life, you know? And... in just two weeks, Yuta gave me that. Beside the worry I kept feeling for you, Yuta made me feel more alive than I have my whole life. I couldn't stop thinking about how bad it was that I'd caught feelings, in the beginning. It couldn't happen, I shouldn't feel, shouldn't let Yuta get to me. He managed to, anyway, and now I'm far enough gone to be this desparate to stay with him.

I don't even have confirmation that he feels the same, don't even have a plan or options or possible opportunities to do so, but still. Deep down it's... Jeno, I'd forced myself to get used to the idea of marrying someone I didn't love or staying alone my entire life. I'd never even given myself the chance to think about actually loving someone. Now that I have, I can't- I can't bear the thought of being forced to let him go again, but I still don't have a chance to follow him."

Without saying anything else, Jeno pulled Doyoung close and hugged him to his chest. It warmed Doyoung's heart.

His back was bent into an awkward position and his legs were aching. But, Jeno's embrace was so sweet, so warm that Doyoung couldn't bring it up in himself to break it, despite easily being able to thanks to Jeno's still weakened state.

Jeno slowly reached out to pat Doyoung's hair, and Doyoung let out a soft laugh. Sweet, pure Jeno. The best brother in the world, probably, who always wanted the best for Doyoung and would keep fighting until Doyoung himself admitted to that. Honestly, Doyoung had already made up his mind the night before. He would surely suffocate if he had to stay behind, alone. Still, he lacked the courage to tell Jeno about it. Staying alone would be suffocating, sure, but as he'd told Jeno; making the decision was easy. The rest, not so much. So, he wouldn't tell anyone. Not yet.

"Whatever you choose to do, hyung," Jeno said softly, "you'll always make the right decision for you. Please, be happy."

Doyoung smiled. "When did my baby brother get so wise?"

Jeno chuckled at that. "I'm not all that wise, hyung. I just figured- you've taken care of me and everyone else around you for long enough. It's time someone started taking care of _you_."

Doyoung smiled and slowly moved away from Jeno, but not before kissing him on the cheek a few times. He truly had the best brother on the whole world.

 


	20. 0

Doyoung didn't manage to fall asleep until sunrise, too many thoughts racing through his mind. He had made up his mind the day before, kind of. Still, it was a very difficult decision. In the end, Jeno's support had encouraged him to actually pursue it. Now came the hard part.

First of all, he'd have to find someone to take over. In all the hours of the night he'd spent thinking it over, he'd decided that contacting Kun would be his best option, so he'd have to try that. Who was to say Kun wouldn't agree and take over? Kun was a great king, and the kingdom would most likely be in good hands with him.

Then came the moment where he'd have to confront Yuta, tell him about it. Right now, that seemed like the most terrifying part. What if he promised Yuta, but Kun said no? Then, Doyoung would have to betray his promise, and that was about the last thing he wanted to to. Especially to Yuta. There was also the frightening possibility of Yuta not reacting the way Doyoung hoped he would.

What if Doyoung was being irrational? He had thought it over a million times, sure, but what if he was just imagining the attraction between him and Yuta? What if he was just too hopeful, or subconsciously using Yuta as a way to get out of the castle? Immediately after thinking the last part, Doyoung shook his head to himself. No, he really did love Yuta for Yuta, he was sure of that. The part he was less sure about was Yuta's feelings. What if he was just imagining that? What if Yuta didn't have romantic feelings for Doyoung at all, and Doyoung was just forcing himself onto Yuta? He was pretty sure having Yuta tell him he shouldn't come would probably hurt even more than not telling him and staying alone.

When the dark of the night seemed to clear up a bit already, Doyoung finally fell asleep, which didn't last long. It wasn't that he wasn't tired, not at all. He was exhausted. Being so anxious and thinking so much really took a toll on Doyoung. He wanted nothing more than to just sleep it all off, preferably for multiple days and nights. Being with Yuta, Jeno and Jaemin during those days and nights would be a great bonus. Yet, at the same time, his anxiety and worry, which had now turned slightly more into excitement, kept him up.

When Doyoung woke up only a few hours later, he knew this wouldn't be a very happy. He'd have to say goodbye to Jaemin, to Jeno and Yuta. He'd have to man up and tell Yuta about his feelings and future plans, which was a terrifying idea. He'd have to let go of his baby brother, the boy he'd always looked after, who'd always been his best friend through everything despite their age difference.

He splashed his face with water and went to Jeno's room, only to find him standing by the window, softly conversing with Jaemin. Jaemin was indeed a little bit taller than Jeno, and Doyoung smiled. Jeno, hearing Doyoung come in, ran over to him right away and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much for letting me do this, again, hyung," he said, face buried in Doyoung's neck. It struck Doyoung that the boy, his little Jeno, wasn't his baby brother anymore. He'd grown up so much, and it was time for him to let go. For the first time in days, Doyoung really relaxed. It was okay. For the first time, he felt at peace with having to let Jeno go. It was time for him to start his own life, and he had an amazing person to do it together with.

With a smile, Doyoung beckoned Jaemin closer, and tugged him into their hug. Jaemin laughed happily, Jeno quickly following when Jaemin pressed a sweet kiss onto Jeno's cheek. Doyoung smiled at them fondly and ruffled Jaemin's hair.

"I'm going to miss you guys," he said, but found that for once, he didn't feel like crying. This was good. This meant a happy future for both boys, and only one look at Jeno immediately told Doyoung he was indeed happy. That was all Doyoung needed, really. He laughed out loud, as well. "I'll miss you, but I'm really happy for you guys. Jeno, I'm so proud of you. And... you both deserve this," he continued, feeling his heart swell at the pure joy in both Jaemin and Jeno's expressions. "Live happily," he said to conclude it. "Though I think you'll manage that together."

Jeno smiled warmly and rubbed Doyoung's arm a few times. "Thank you hyung. I'll miss you too, so much. I- I won't tell you what to do. Your future is, after all, up to you, but... I hope to see you again. Hopefully soon."

Doyoung ruffled his hair as well, and maybe rubbed his knuckled into his head a bit harder than normal. Jeno just laughed. "About that..." he started, and Jeno's eyes widened curiously. "I've made up my mind. For real, this time. I'm... I'm going to take over, as soon as you leave. Then, I'll contact Kun, and- if he agrees, and you'll still have me, I'll come when everything's taken care of."

Jeno beamed, and hugged Doyoung close again. "I'm glad," he said, voice muffled . "I can't imagine Kun saying no, and- hyung, I can't wait!"

Doyoung chuckled, and pushed back. "I... I'll have to find Yuta, to tell him, and say goodbye," he said, stepping back to the door. "I won't come to see you off tomorrow, so- I'll miss you. I'll hopefully meet you soon. Love you."

Jeno just waved. Before Doyoung could close the door behind him, he saw Jaemin step closer to Jeno, and pull him into a comforting hug. Doyoung smiled. Jeno was in good hands, he'd be just fine. Now, it was time for him to find Yuta and confess his plans. And of course pray Yuta would be at least a little happy with it.

Doyoung roamed the hallways for a while, but he couldn't find Yuta anywhere. He'd checked the kitchens, the dining room, Yuta's room, the gardens... even Doyoung's own room. Then, a thought struck him. Of course. He felt stupid for not thinking about it before. Right away, he took off with a sprint, down the hallway, in the direction of Doyoung's old throne room. Their room.

When he arrived there, he didn't even bother stopping for a second to calm his breath, and pushed his way inside. Immediately, his eyes fell on Yuta.

He was standing by the window, rays of sunlight creating a warm glow that fell over his face. Doyoung felt like all the air was punched out of his lungs. Yuta was beautiful, and Doyoung was so in love. Slowly, he walked over to Yuta, not stopping until he was about two or three arm's lengths away. Yuta didn't look surprised to see him, and Doyoung knew he'd been waiting for him.

Yuta didn't say anything, but Doyoung could see he had been thinking. He had a badly hidden troubled look in his eyes, and Doyoung wished he could take it away.

 Doyoung was still a bit breathless from running earlier, and wordlessly stepped closer. Yuta moved closer again, and lifted his arm. Doyoung stayed unmoving as Yuta's hand landed on his cheek, didn't take his eyes off Yuta's. He took a deep breath in a last attempt to calm his racing heart. He smiled at Yuta.

"Hi," he whispered, breaking the silence.

The air between them was almost impossibly hot, and almost subconsciously Doyoung leaned into the palm Yuta had laid on his cheek. Doyoung’s eyes roamed over his features, trying to burn every detail into his mind. He knew Yuta was doing the same, and he leaned even closer.

“Stop,” Yuta said in a nearly inaudible whisper, his warm breath ghosting over Doyoung’s face.

“Yuta, I-” Doyoung started, but Yuta interrupted him before he could continue.

“I know, Doie, I know. I- Me too. But please, don’t say it. Don’t. That- it’d only make parting even more difficult.

Doyoung frowned and leaned back a bit, but not far enough to let his cheek lose contact with Yuta’s palm. The look in Yuta’s eyes told him that yeah, he indeed knew. He felt the same. Doyoung was sure of that now.

The weight of Yuta’s words made Doyoung’s eyes fill with hot tears. Damn it, now he was crying again. He was so, so tired of crying.

“Don’t cry,” Yuta said, and Doyoung _heard_ the fond nickname despite Yuta not saying it. “Don’t cry, or I’ll cry. We both know that’s not a pretty sight.” Then, he wiped a tear from underneath Doyoung’s eye with the pad of his thumb.

Doyoung let out a strangled laugh. “Yes it is. Everything you do looks pretty.”

Yuta smiled endearingly, but Doyoung could see that he himself was also holding back tears. For Doyoung.

“Why… why not?” Doyoung asked, and Yuta’s smile immediately turned sad, his eyes glistening.

“I don’t- it’s for the best, Doie.”

“Don’t you think you’ll regret never-”

“Yes,” Yuta breathed out, interrupting Doyoung. “A thousand times yes. But I know that if we start, we won’t want to stop. Knowing how it feels to- to hear you say it, knowing I’ll never be able to hear it again would hurt even worse.”

Doyoung’s mind was racing. He had made his decision, but it seemed like Yuta also had made up his mind regarding their situation. How would he react? “I’ll come with you,” he blurted out, foregoing thinking longer about the best way to word it.

Yuta shook his head. “Doie- Doyoung, you can’t. You said so yourself, and… I’m just a witch, I have no status and no money. On top of that, I’m a foreigner. You could be _king_. You can’t let that go to waste for someone like _me_.”

“No, Yuta,” Doyoung hurried to explain. “I’ve thought about it, talked to Jeno about it… He agreed. In fact, he convinced me to do it. I’d never thought about me possibly not taking over, especially when Jeno fell ill. But… the right to the throne is mine, not my parents’. You’ve been to the neighboring kingdom, right? You must know of king Kun.”

Yuta nodded, seeming unsure of where this was leading.

“He’s my cousin,” Doyoung continued. “He’s an amazing king, and he loves it. A born leader, better than I could ever be… I’m sure he’d agree to take over this part of the kingdom to merge mine and his.”

Yuta couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Doyoung would… give up all his birthrights? Give up the throne, for _him_? The sincerity and determination in Doyoung’s eyes made his hands shake and his eyes will with tears once more. With gentle movements, he caressed Doyoung’s face.

“You would do that? For me?” he asked after a while of silence, his voice obviously shaking.

Doyoung nodded, confirming it once more. At that, the tears in Yuta’s eyes finally spilled over. This time, it was Doyoung who wiped them away.

“I promise I’ll come find you. I’ll kiss you when I do, first thing. I’ll tell you exactly how I feel and you won’t be able to stop me because we’ll stay together forever,” Doyoung mumbled.

Yuta couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten by meeting Doyoung. He would do _anything_ to be able to see Doyoung again, to be able to stay with him. “I’ll wait for you, however long it takes,” Yuta whispered. With those words, Doyoung pulled Yuta closer into a tight embrace.

“I won’t come to see you off tomorrow,” Doyoung said softly, and Yuta nodded. That was only fair. “It’d feel too much like a goodbye, when it should just be a see-you-later. If I had to watch you leave it’d hurt way more. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No,” Yuta mumbled back, pressing a kiss into Doyoung’s shoulder, covered only by a thin tunic. A shiver went through his whole body, and he pressed one back onto Yuta’s loose shirt. “That’s my see-you-later,” Yuta said, pulling away, tears streaming down his face. Yet, he was smiling widely. He was beautiful.

“I’ll find you,” Doyoung promised one more time.

“And I’ll wait for you,” Yuta responded.

With that, they gave each other another meaningful look. They hadn’t voiced their feelings, but they were, to them, loud and clear. Despite his sadness, Doyoung felt content.

Then, Doyoung turned around and walked out of the room, away from Yuta, a smile on his face. Yuta didn't follow him.

***

Doyoung wasn’t there to see them off, just as he’d said. Yuta hadn’t been able to sleep much, too afraid to lose the last images of Doyoung’s face.

“Did hyung tell you of his decision?” Jeno asked when they took a break a few hours after leaving. Yuta nodded, mentally deciding he’d let Jeno know of his worries. He was Doyoung’s brother, after all.

“Was this really the right thing to do?” he asked. Jeno gave him a curious look, and smiled, urging Yuta to continue talking. “Don’t get me wrong,” Yuta said slowly, thinking about the best way to word his thoughts. “I’m insanely happy he’d even _willing_ to give up so much for me, but… How can I accept it? I don’t deserve him at all.”

Jeno hummed, and Yuta kept his eyes focused on the road. “I haven’t known you as long as Doyoung hyung, let alone Jaemin, so I could never properly judge you myself. But… I’ve seen the way you interacted, and I trust you to take good care of my brother. As for if you deserve him… maybe. Maybe not.”

Jeno looked away from Yuta, a smile on his face. “My brother is kind of amazing, you know. No one really deserves him. I don’t either. But… I do know that he deserves to be happy, more than anyone else. You make him happy, therefore _he_ deserves _you._ ”

Surprised, Yuta lifted his eyes to look at Jeno. The latter just smiled again. “I wouldn’t doubt it so much, if I were you,” he said. “Hyung isn’t someone to make rash decisions, neither is he someone to half-ass anything. If he says he’d going to take care of the matter and find us, he will. Trust me. If he’s anything like the hyung I know with you, he will. As soon as possible.”

Yuta had to take a moment to process all that. Unknowingly, a smile had crept onto his face. Seeing it made Jeno happy. To him, it seemed like his dear brother had found his own special person, and Jeno couldn’t be happier for him. They both deserved this, and he couldn’t wait for Doyoung to find and join them.

“You really love him, don’t you?” he then asked Yuta. The look on the other’s face was enough of an answer, and Jeno laughed. “Never mind that,” he continued. Yuta smiled for a second, but then his expression turned sad again, and he sighed.

“I didn’t get to tell him how I feel,” he said softly. “I could see Doyoung wanted to, and I wanted to say it as well, but… If we would’ve had to part ways with only a memory- that would’ve hurt way too much. To know exactly what he sounds like, saying, you know, _that,_ but never hearing it again… It’d be too painful.”

Jeno hummed. “That’s a bit too much information, more than I needed to know. Thanks for that. But… I’m sure he doesn’t blame you. it’s understandable. With the way we’ve been able to be together, I couldn’t imagine having to part ways with Nana. I don’t even want to think  about how bad it would be for _him._ ”

Yuta smiled. “You’re a good kid,” he said, “Of all people Nana could’ve given his lifelong loyalty and love to, I’m glad it was you.”

“Me too,” Jeno replied, a giddy smile on his face. “I hope my brother can get our cousin to agree soon. You two are good for each other.”

Yuta smiled sadly. “I miss him already,” he muttered.

Jeno moved closer to pat Yuta’s shoulder and smiled as he saw Jaemin pad up to them in dog form and paw at Yuta’s leg, as if to offer comfort. Jeno patted his arm one more time. “Soon, hyung. I promise.”

Yuta could only sigh, but his tone was hopeful. “Soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one uwu hope its any good. epilogue will be up monday or tuesday!!


	21. zenyu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tiny note at the ending that gives a little extra info you probably shouldnt skip :)
> 
> so! this is it! i've reached my goal of exactly 70,000 words, and the fic is done. i hope you'll like the ending as much as some of you liked the rest. its been a Ride, and the amount of support and sweet comments i've gotten along it were insane, more than i could even hope for. i can't even start naming people but. wow. to anyone who's commented, or left a kudo, or even read it in the first place, thank you so much. If Anyone Would Like To Read More, i've got some other one shots, and there'll definitely be more in the future.  
> again, thank you so much, now enjoy!!!

**92**

 

Winter had passed quickly, the cold weather never lasting too long in their kingdom. The air was still chilly, but flowers had started to grow again and birds were starting to build their nests in trees and bushes again. Doyoung loved it.

 

This day marked a new chapter of his life, one he didn’t know of when it would end or how it would go. He was excited, though. This was the first day of freedom, out of many to come. His life had been flipped around completely over the course of the past three months. He had walked down this path with Yuta months before, multiple times. Nearly every day, even, in those two weeks they’d been able to spend together. However, this was his first time going completely alone.

 

Back when he walked here with Yuta, he’d been in a completely different position. He’d been here a few times as a kid as well, with caretakers, and Jeno, but always as a prince. This was Doyoung’s first time on the path as a civilian. A commoner, like everyone else.

 

Right now, Doyoung had no more power than any other commoner. He just coincidentally had a bit of a complicated heritage and past, and a family in influential positions. It didn’t matter, though. He himself was no longer crown prince Doyoung. He was really nothing more than just the 21-year old, Kim Doyoung, who happened to have direct family on the throne.

 

Doyoung missed Yuta like crazy. Every single day after he had left with Jaemin and Jeno, Doyoung had missed him. Them. The past three months… It had been okay in the beginning, because he’d had a plan, but after some time it became almost unbearable. At least now he was going _towards_ Yuta again. He’d see him again.

 

Walking over the familiar path, past the familiar sceneries made him reminisce. He _really_ missed Yuta. Jeno and Jaemin as well, of course. He couldn’t wait until he could see them again, and stay with them this time.

 

At least he knew Jeno had Jaemin. They had been able to stay together, hadn’t had to miss each other, hadn’t had to miss out on anything or any time they could’ve spent together. Plus, they were with Yuta. They were in good hands.

 

Honestly, Doyoung had been able to cope with missing them for the most part after they left, but nothing felt the same. It was like after they’d parted, they took some fundamental part of Doyoung with them and were now waiting for him to come get it back. Doyoung hoped they were waiting.

 

It was almost pathetic how attached to Yuta he’d become in so short. Doyoung thought about it a lot, during his time alone. He had certainly felt a lot of worries and insecurities. Would everything work out well? Would the people really accept Kun, and the other way around?

 

When the deal with Kun and the… well, power transfer, packed out really well, some of those worries disappeared. Still, other doubts arose. Would Doyoung be able to find them easily? Even more, would Yuta still want him? Was he still waiting for Doyoung? Were they all okay? Did his feelings for Doyoung not disappear over time? Doyoung had had a lot of time to think about everything over and over again when he wasn’t busy in the castle.

 

Somehow, he had continued falling deeper and deeper every day, even without Yuta there. His time waiting, without Yuta, had allowed him to really reflect in peace on everything that had happened. He had recounted every day, every memory, everything they’d gone through. Through that, he had only fallen further in love with Yuta. He could only hope Yuta still felt the same.

 

The day he’d perhaps thought the most about was the day of their goodbyes. He had recalled the fond look in his eyes, the sincere tone of Yuta’s voice, the gentle way he’d hugged Doyoung close and had been able to somewhat calm some of his worries. Still, now that he was actually out, and alone… Finally on his way to find Yuta after three long, torturous months… He couldn’t help but start worrying again.

 

He loved Yuta with every fiber of his being, loved Yuta to bits and pieces, wanted to stay with him forever. Yuta’s reaction when Doyoung first told him of his plans should’ve been enough to reassure Doyoung, but for now all he felt he could do was find them and pray Yuta would be as happy to see him as Doyoung was.

 

**45**

 

Yuta was restless. He knew it was starting to annoy Jaemin, but he was terrified. It had been over a month. Forty-five days. Not that he had been counting. Not at all.

 

It was safe to say that he missed Doyoung terribly. Every single day. Doyoung’s features were ingrained in his memory, but he was terrified to forget any of it. He did know he would never be able to forget his expressions that last night. That look on his face, the love in his eyes, aimed at _him,_ at Yuta…

 

Not only was Yuta a 100 percent sure it was reflected identically in his own eyes, he couldn’t wait to see it again. He missed Doyoung, missed his blush and his grins and his never-ending and not once wavering love and support for his brother. He missed the way Doyoung got defensive and never backed down from an argument, missed the way he’d cared for him and Jaemin in their time at the castle, missed the way he’d let Yuta take care of him as well. He missed Doyoung.

 

Yuta loved Doyoung, and he couldn’t wait until everything was done with and they could meet again. He wasn’t sure how long it would take. Forty-five days was already a long time, and he was afraid it’d take a lot more than that. He had heard rumors about the king, though.The people said he was planning to step down again and allow someone else to take his place. Yuta hadn’t heard any confirmation yet, though, and it made him anxious.

 

 (The king being Doyoung, since he’d officially been crowned king only days after Yuta left) (God, Yuta was _so_ proud whenever he heard people refer to _his_ Doyoung as their king).

 

He would do and give literally anything to be able to have Doyoung in his arms again. The sooner the better. He would do and give anything to have Doyoung close to him again, and to finally be able to just… _say it._ Tell Doyoung he loved him. He still regretted not saying anything to Doyoung about his feelings. Yet, he was glad at the same time.

 

He had been right, before. Not knowing what it was like filled his heart with regret and longing, but he knew it would’ve been a thousand times worse had he known what those three words sounded like from Doyoung’s lips.

 

***

Jeno was at the market when Jaemin cornered Yuta. “When will you stop moping, hyung?” the boy asked, sounding serious. Yuta groaned.

 

It would be no use to pretend like he didn’t understand what Nana was talking about. His Nana was smart, and he knew Yuta like no one else. And then there was of course the aura reading. It was impossible to lie to him.

 

“It’s been a month, Nana,” Yuta said finally, voice soft. “Do you think he’s still coming?”

 

Jaemin’s expression immediately softened, and he patted Yuta’s shoulder. “I see Jeno is back,” he said, “and he looks like he has news!”

 

Yuta turned around to indeed see Jeno run up to them. Even before Yuta could ask anything, Jeno started waving a pamphlet in the air. “King Kun has been sighted multiple times with a following. The people think he’s set to arrive at the castle in two days. Hyung, it’s happening!”

 

“See?” Jaemin said with a smile, and he patted Yuta’s arm once more. “He’s coming. I promise!”

 

**67**

 

It had taken a while to go through all the details, and almost as long for his cousin to get settled in the castle, but it had finally happened and Doyoung was more than excited. As kids, he and Kun had been very close, causing both to almost naturally learn each other’s mother tongues, but when time passed and they grew up, they also grew apart.

 

When Kun was only eighteen, his parents passed away,, leading to him having to take over their position on the throne three years earlier than he was supposed to. But, everything turned out perfectly. Kun loved being king like no one else could, and he had proved time and time again that he was a born leader. His people loved him, and there was no one else on the world Doyoung deemed better to lead _his_ people than Kun.

 

Now, all that was left was for Kun to make the final decision: did he want to add Doyoung’s land to his own kingdom, or did he not want the extra responsibility? Doyoung was nervous. _Everything,_ every single aspect of Doyoung’s future depended on his answer alone.

 

If Kun said no, he’d have to find someone else to take his place (Doyoung couldn’t think of anyone, and surely letting a random civilian who had never studied the things Doyoung had and who had no experience or connections would be a terrible idea). Either that, or giving up on ever seeing Yuta (and Jeno, and Jaemin) again and staying as king himself. He had to do whatever he could to at least stop that from happening.

 

He simply couldn’t stay king, if it meant never seeing them again. And it did. He wanted nothing in the whole world more than to be with them, stay with them. Live happily in freedom, alongside his brother. He would finally be able to tell Yuta he was in love with him, every single day, at any time either Yuta wanted to hear it or Doyoung wanted to say it. They’d be able to be together, for as long as time would allow them.

 

Of course, Doyoung also had his worries. Yuta, Jaemin and Jeno had left two months ago, already, and if Kun agreed, it’d be impossible for the deal to be finalized in under a week. What if Doyoung was too late? He didn’t think Jeno would ever forget about him, but hadn’t Yuta lived just fine for 22 years before they met?

 

What if Yuta had found someone else, or got tired of waiting for Doyoung? Doyoung knew Yuta wasn’t that kind of person. Well, he hoped he wasn’t. Still, he was anxious. Terrified.

 

“I’ll do it,” he then heard from the other side of the table. The words hit him like a strike of lightning, and he turned to where Kun was sitting at the dining table, having casually joined Doyoung with his own breakfast.

 

“What?” Doyoung breathed out, completely flabbergasted.

 

Kun’s smile grew wider and warmer, into the signature _real_ smile that made his cousin so charming. “I’ll accept your offer, or your plea. Whatever it is to you,” Kun repeated.

 

Doyoung knew his mouth had fallen open, and that the was looking at Kun made him look like a fool, but he still couldn’t quite believe Kun’s words. Would it really be that easy?

 

“I wasn’t very sure, at first, since it’s first of all not e very… usual request, and certainly one I didn’t ever expect to get from you,” Kun continued, and Doyoung nodded attentively. “Second, your parents were never… the greatest parents, i know that. I wasn’t so sure how that had translated to the state your land was in, and how you yourself had reigned it. I haven’t been back in a long time, I’m sorry for that. I should’ve visited Jeno when he was still here, should’ve been there for you when he was ill.,” he said, eyes crinkling into a sweet smile. Doyoung could see the regret in his eyes, and he quickly smiled back at him.

 

Then, Doyoung nodded, his heart warm for Kun. He still regretted the day Kun returned to his kingdom for the final time when they were fourteen, and Doyoung had let the contact between them die down. He only now realized how much he’d missed his cousin.

 

“But,” Kun continued again, “I’ve seen with my own eyes that the land is in a great state, and the people are happy. I’ve contacted my advisors, and they told me that, from a purely economic point of view, it would not only not do any harm to my own kingdom, but even possibly be beneficial for the both of us. I’d be a fool to reject such a great country when it’s basically being handed to me.

 

Plus, you’re family. You especially have always been very dear to me, and young Jeno as well. I want the best for you both. I heard he already chased his happiness. If leaving this position is going to make you happy, I’d be more than glad to assist you in that.”

 

Doyoung felt his face split into two with the wideness of his smile, and he reached for Kun’s hand. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I’ve enjoyed being king for these two months, and I love my people, but… there’s someone out there who I love even more, and who I know loves me back. I can not let that go to waste,” Doyoung said, feeling that he was starting to tear up. He didn’t mind.

 

Kun laughed out loud, a soft, pleasant sound. “Then go get him,” he said warmly. Doyoung didn’t even question how Kun knew it was a man. They were family. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time, but their bond never disappeared. Kun knew him. Besides, that was one of his lesser worries, right now.

 

Doyoung would be seeing Yuta and Jeno again. _Yuta._ Doyoung missed him so much it hurt, and he couldn’t wait to see Jeno’s relationship with Jaemin and how that had played out. He had gotten far less close with Jaemin than he had with Yuta and was with Jeno, but Doyoung even missed the cute puppy terribly.

 

He couldn’t wait.

 

**29**

 

Yuta had been continuously pacing back and forth every time they took a break, the past few days. Jeno could see it was making the already distressed (by Yuta’s apparently momentarily foul aura) Jaemin even more nervous, so he decided he’d ask Yuta about it.

 

“Hyung?” he asked, minding to keep his voice neutral but gentle. Yuta wouldn’t be behaving like that if there was nothing wrong, or if he wasn’t stressed about something. In the month Jeno had been with them, they’d been together nearly 24/7, and Jeno had managed to observe that much. Generally, Yuta was a calm person, who didn’t seem too bothered by small upholdings. Now, he _was_ behaving like this, even though nothing bad had happened.

 

“Hyung, are you okay? Is something wrong?” Jeno asked. Yuta turned to face him, and Jeno was surprised by the sad and serious expression on his face. At Jeno’s question, Yuta sighed deeply.

 

“Nothing,” he said, “I’m just... overthinking everything.”

 

“Let me guess,” Jeno said smiling, “it’s about my brother?”

 

Yuta didn’t even look surprised. Instead, he just sighed again, gave Jeno another sad look and nodded. Jeno smiled back at him. “Let’s sit down for a minute, hyung,” Jeno offered, showing initiative by sitting down on a log himself first. Yuta looked hesitant, but followed anyway. “What’s wrong?” Jeno asked again, not allowing himself to be distracted by Jaemin in dog form, clambering onto the log next to Jeno as well.

 

“I’m just overthinking,” Yuta said again. “I guess… I guess I’m worried. About Doyoung, and about us.”

 

Jeno resisted the urge to immediately jump to his brother’s defense, and held back a frown. “Are you second-guessing it? Regretting it?” Jeno asked, voice slightly sharper than he’d intended.

 

“No, no,” Yuta hurried to reply, and Jeno relaxed. “I’m not second-guessing anything. I can’t wait for the day I’ll get to- we all get to be together again.”

 

There was more, Jeno was sure. He was glad Yuta still wanted his brother with them, was still waiting for him, but he also knew Yuta wasn’t telling him everything. He reached beside him to pet Nana’s fur, but kept his eyes on Yuta’s.

 

“I’m just afraid _he’ll_ change his mind and… not ever come to find me. Us.”

 

 _Ah,_ Jeno thought, _there it is._ “Why is that?” he carefully inquired. He knew Doyoung. Not only was Doyoung not one to change his mind easily about something he was so sure about before, he was also stubborn, and fought for what he thought was right. On top of that, Jeno had, in the short amount of time he’d been physically able to see them together, seen very well how Doyoung and Yuta acted around each other. His brother’s feelings and the intensity of those feelings had been clear as day to Jeno right away. He guessed that wasn’t the case for Yuta.

 

Yuta shrugged in reply to Jeno’s question, and his expression looked pained. “We never got to tell each other,” he then said. It pained Jeno to hear the doubt and sadness in Yuta’s usually confident and cheerful voice. When he saw tears well up in his eyes, he finally looked away.

 

“I never got to tell him I love him,” Yuta continued. Jeno got the feeling he knew where this was going, but Yuta sounded like he was really about to cry, so he didn’t say anything. He forced himself to stop petting Nana, to not get distracted. Yuta deserved (and might need, in not too long) his full attention regarding these insecurities.

 

“Do you think I should’ve told him?” Yuta then asked, his voice cracking under the weight of his overflowing emotions.

 

“Why didn’t you?” Jeno asked in reply. He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth, as he heard Yuta inhale shakily. His exhale sounded suspiciously like a small sob, and Jeno kept his eyes trained on the ground.

 

“I told him not to say it,” Yuta mumbled. “I thought it’d hurt too much. I expected for him to stay at the castle, back then. Getting to hear and say the words only to never see him again or be able to hear it again would be too painful, I thought, so I told him not to. So…. he didn’t, but I- I could feel he wanted to. I wanted to.”

 

On Jeno’s other side, Nana whined sadly and cuddled into Jeno’s side, laying his head on his thigh. Jeno figured even the idea of finding and choosing someone and never seeing them again was painful to Nana. actually experiencing it had to be unbearable for someone who only had one partner their entire life. On top of that, Nana was way closer with Yuta. Jeno didn’t doubt that it hurt him to hear him so sad.

 

Jeno wasn’t sure how to comfort Yuta other than laying an encouraging hand on his shoulder. It was silent for a while, save for Yuta’s soft whimpers as he cried to himself. Yuta had expressed his regrets, but somewhere, Jeno had a feeling he wasn’t quite done yet. He’d had a whole month to experience things without Doyoung after spending two weeks so closely together, had a month to mentally digest everything, and apparently a whole month to worry about the things that _didn’t_ happen.

 

He’d had a full month to repress his worries and regrets and insecurities, telling neither Jaemin or Jeno about it until now. Jeno could only imagine how much there really was Yuta had been thinking about, had let build up beneath the surface.

 

“Do you think I should’ve told him?” Yuta asked again, voice no more than a whisper. His voice sounded a bit more stable than earlier, though, and Jeno assumed he’d calmed down a bit. Jeno pondered over the question for a bit, and Yuta took his silence as an opening for more questions.

 

“I keep thinking… after he told me he’d come find us, we only hugged. I- I didn’t tell him,” Yuta said, “do you… would our goodbye have been different if I _had_ told him? What if he thinks I didn’t say it because I didn’t love him? What do I do if he doesn’t know?”

 

This time, Jeno was quick to soothe his worries. “I don’t know if telling him would’ve changed anything,” he started, turning a bit further in Yuta’s direction, “but I do know that my brother is, though stubborn, not stupid. If he thought you didn’t feel the same way, he wouldn’t have promised to come find us, and if he wanted to tell you he would’ve, no matter what you said. I don’t doubt that he knows about your feelings for him.”

 

Yuta took a deep breath, letting the words settle in his mind for a bit. “If you’re absolutely sure of that,” he then said slowly, “then I’ll… try to believe you. I believe you.”

 

Jeno smiled and patted Yuta’s shoulder once more. Yuta turned to him and stood up, on his face now no longer a sad look. Rather than sad or anxious, he looked determined. “I love Doyoung,” he said, confidence back in his voice, a smile on his face. “I really, really do, and he knows it. I can’t wait until I can tell him!”

 

Jeno laughed out loud. “Me too!”

 

**104**

 

Walking, walking, walking. One foot in front of the other. Time and time again. Every step was one step closer to his ultimate goal. For the past twelve days, that was practically all Doyoung had been doing. He’d been chasing Yuta, Jeno and Jaemin all that time, but he still had no clue about their exact whereabouts.

 

During his three months in the castle, alone (and then a while with Kun), he’d received regular messages from Jeno. About once every two weeks, his brother would send a small letter with their locations and a short update about how they were doing, though it was mostly about Yuta missing him. The last month, he hadn’t received any, though, and it worried Doyoung. Not only because he didn’t know why, didn’t know if they were doing alright, he now also didn’t have any recent leads on where they could be.

 

Still, Doyoung had gone to the last location he’d received from Jeno, and started asking around. It was tough to find anything on people who left the place nearly a month ago, though. He asked about a small witch and two boys, sometimes switching it to a man with two boys or a man with a boy and a puppy.

 

The first few days, he didn’t expect to find them. Doyoung suspected it already took a few days for Jeno’s messages to reach the castle. On top of that, he hadn’t received any recent messages, resulting in him to have basically no information on them. Doyoung knew they were waiting. They’d promised they would. Yet, he didn’t and couldn’t expect of them to sit still in one city until Doyoung finally showed up, when they didn’t even know when exactly he’d come looking for them.

 

The first few days were definitely the hardest. He’d left the castle excited and hopeful, but when he moved from town to town to ask people about them, no one seemed to remember them at all. Doyoung had no choice but to move alone, without knowing if he was even going in the right direction. He was lucky his kingdom wasn’t that big. Villages were small and the people curious. If they had come by recently, Doyoung was sure at least someone would’ve gone to check who they were.

 

Then, as he moved further and further away from the castle and further into the country, more people seemed to remember seeing them a while ago. Slowly, he regained some hope. However, a full week later, he was still no closer to actually finding them. It seemed like they were always two or three days ahead of him. There was no way he could move any faster, when asking around and trying to find out where they went also took up a lot of time.

 

He had been losing hope to find them soon again, lately. He seemed to just be running after vague hints, never even completely sure he was moving in the right direction until he found someone who could tell him he was.

 

Today, however, the weather was amazing, and despite everything he tried his hardest to keep his chin up and his spirits lifted. It was still difficult, but he didn’t have many other choices. With no possible means of communication, no recent location briefings and barely any clues, it was very easy to lose hope. A bit too easy, to Doyoung’s liking.

 

Late in the afternoon, Doyoung was nearing yet another village and decided he’d just ask the first person he met for information. He didn’t get very far, though. The news that king Kim Dongyoung had stepped down and was now travelling around the kingdom had spread like wildfire, and Doyoung assumed it had also reached this area. Well,  assumed…

 

With the way the eyes of the farmer he encountered along the way became almost scarily big when Doyoung greeted him, Doyoung didn’t have to assume the man knew about the news. Doyoung smiled at the poor man, who looked scared out of his wits. He stepped closer to the man.

 

The other immediately ran onto the road and dropped to his knees. He was about to bow down even further, when Doyoung stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. To be on equal footing and line of sight with the man, he sank onto his knees as well, and sent the man another (what he hoped was a friendly) smile.

 

“Come on, get up,” he urged, but the man shook his head wildly and bowed his head when Doyoung’s hand on his shoulder kept him from bowing down all the way.

 

“King, sir, your majesty, I-” the man stuttered out, and Doyoung couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

 

“Calm down, sir. I’m Doyoung, it’s nice to meet you. Please don’t bother bowing down to _me,_ bow for my dear cousin instead. I am no longer of any royal title,” Doyoung said, hoping the man would calm down a little bit.

 

This was the biggest downside of having been in the position Doyoung had left. Yes, everyone was more than willing to help him out, which was very convenient, but people still treated him like royalty. Maybe Doyoung was still of the royal bloodline, and still had familial ties to the current ruler, and still had access to the castle, but status wise he was no higher than any other commoner.

 

People were afraid of him. Doyoung guessed they were afraid they’d be punished if they didn’t treat him like the king he used to be, didn’t bow down to him and treat him with respect. He’d probably have to ask Kun to release an official statement about that.

 

He loved to still have access to his home, the place he grew up in, loved to still be close to his cousin. Still, he’d rather function as some sort of field advisor and be treated like anyone else than have people bow down to him, be afraid of him and his possible judgment.

 

Another friendly smile to the man seemed to finally calm him down a bit, and he, albeit reluctantly, stood back up with Doyoung’s help. He still looked uncomfortable, but no longer terrified. Doyoung had to be content with that, for now.

 

“My friend,” Doyoung said when the man was up again, “I have some questions for you.”

 

The man nodded, and for a second Doyoung was afraid he’d go back to nervously trying to bow for Doyoung, but to his relief he didn’t. “Let me ask this first,” Doyoung started, “are you aware of the existence of witches?”

 

For a second the man looked confused, but then his whole face brightened and he nodded happily. “Oh, yes I am,” he said. He froze up for a second, and Doyoung assumed he was afraid of talking over his ‘king’ or offending Doyoung by speaking before he was signalled to. It had happened before, but Doyoung wasn’t sure, so he motioned for the man to continue talking. Immediately, his expression brightened again.

 

“There was one at my house, yesterday,” the man continued, a big smile growing on his face. “My eldest daughter fell ill recently, and I can’t afford the medicine. Then a witch came by the village, his familiar sniffed my daughter out and then he cured her for even less than half the money the medicine would’ve cost me!”

 

Doyoung felt like someone had slapped him across the face. A witch and a familiar. A healing witch, at that. The man had called the witch a _he,_ and though Doyoung only knew one witch he was fairly sure there weren’t many males with magic who called themselves witches instead of wizards. It was a male witch, one selfless and caring enough to ask barely any money for healing someone’s child.

 

“What did he look like?” Doyoung asked, nerves pooling hot in the pit of his stomach.

 

Suddenly, the man seemed to not at all care for Doyoung’s former position. He stepped closer and glared him right in the eyes, despite looking quite frail and being a full head shorter than Doyoung. “Why, are you against witches?” he asked, voice like venom. “I’ll have you know that he was a very kind man, and so were the boys with him. If you’re here to hunt him down, you’ll have to get your information somewhere else.”

 

Doyoung needed a second to let the words sink in, before hurriedly stepping back and waving his hands in front of his body. “No, no no!” he exclaimed, “not at all! I’m looking for the witch who cured my brother, former prince Jeno. You mentioned boys? Please, sir, help me find them?” he pleaded, voice growing more and more desperate.

 

The farmer didn’t seem fully convinced, but he stepped back. Still, he kept frowning at Doyoung and intensely stared him down, keeping his arms crossed. “And what do you want to do when you find him?” he asked suspiciously.

 

Doyoung let out a nervous laugh. He couldn’t exactly tell this man how much he loved the witch and how the first thing he’d do when he found him was tell him that and then finally kiss him. Right?

 

“I want to thank him for doing an amazing job,” Doyoung said, sure to choose his words carefully. “Then, I’d offer to stay with him. To help him, or do whatever I could do, or whatever he wanted me to do. The younger prince, Jeno, went with them for his familiar, so… I’d like to reunite with my brother, as well.”

 

The man was quiet for a while, and then finally nodded. “Fine, I believe you. I apologize for my behavior earlier. I just… I’m not sure how much longer my daughter would’ve survived if he hadn’t stepped in. I owe him a lot.”

 

At this point, Doyoung couldn’t imagine the witch in question being anyone other than Yuta, and a wave of affection surged through his body. Wonderful, selfless, admirable Yuta. “Believe me,” Doyoung said, smiling. “Me too.”

 

“Now that I think about it, I do think the third person was the young prince,” the man said, “he seemed familiar.” A whole new wave of nerves hit Doyoung.

 

“You said they were here yesterday?” Doyoung asked hopefully, and his heart jumped in his chest when the farmer nodded.

 

“I’m assuming they went into town after that,” he said. “After all, I live quite far away from the actual village, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they went there to stay the night. My best bet is that they went to the bar on the main street, though I’m not sure when they were planning to leave. Do you want me to send my son to look for him in the village?”

 

Doyoung smiled at the man’s kind offer, but shook his head. “I couldn’t ask that from you after all your help until now,” he said, and stepped away. “I’d rather try to find him myself. Thank you!”

 

The man looked a bit confused, but waved back at Doyoung anyway, and then he was off. It was another thirty minutes to the village. On the way there he asked multiple others if they knew anything about Yuta, or more specific details of his whereabouts. When they seemed confused, he asked for Jeno instead.

 

An hour of walking and talking to people later, he finally arrived at the so called main street and entered a small, but friendly looking inn. He hoped he’d have more luck of finding Yuta here. The sky was already starting to darken, and Doyoung hadn’t found a place to sleep yet.

 

He walked up to the bar and smiled to greet the innkeeper. He quickly paid for a room to stay the night in and ordered some food. It was getting late already, and it wasn’t until Doyoung sat down at one of the tables near the wall that he really felt his hunger and exhaustion.

 

The past days had been tough. Full of joy and hope he’d left the castle, eager to quickly find Yuta and the boys and fix everything. He’d fantasized about Yuta seeing him and smiling, kissing him (much like the earlier dreams), saying he loved Doyoung. He had dreamed, and smiled, ran and hoped, only for that hope to be shattered, time and time again. Until the last day.

 

Doyoung knew he was close. Yuta had to be close by now. He felt all his limbs tingle with anxiety and excitement. He couldn’t wait to finally see him, but… what if he was too late _again_? What if they’d already continued their trip without anyone knowing? What if-

 

The door of the inn slammed open with a loud bang, but Doyoung didn’t pay any mind to it. He had just gotten his food, and he was _hungry_. Loud footsteps. Inintelligible mumbling around him. A hand slammed down with a loud noise- Doyoung assumed it was the counter. Poor innkeeper. Then, a voice. Yelling, almost. A voice….

 

Doyoung froze up. That voice-

 

“I was alarmed by some villagers that someone has been asking for me the past few hours,” Yuta exclaimed, his voice ringing through the room and Doyoung’s heart nearly stopped beating. Yuta sounded angry, but that didn’t matter. He was alive, and well, and looking around the room with his back to Doyoung and Doyoung was so, so in love.

 

That, right there, was Yuta. Fierce, beautiful Yuta. _His_ Yuta.

 

“Well?” Yuta continued when the room fell silent. “Who knows who it was? Or are you here yourself? Come out!”

 

Before Doyoung could even think about it, he sprung up, not even registering the loud clatter of his chair falling to the floor behind him. “That would be me,” he said, slightly amazed at how calm and even his voice sounded. He didn’t _feel_ calm. He felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

 

The men around him started mumbling things to each other again. “Uh oh,” Doyoung heard someone say, “that’s our king. Old king.”

 

Yuta turned around to Doyoung, and the second their eyes met, time stopped. Doyoung watched his eyes widen, further and further, until he noticed through his own blurring sight that Yuta’s eyes were getting teary as well.

 

Now actually physically shaking, he stepped to the side and around his table, took Yuta’s sleeve (the sleeve of the same cloak Doyoung had slept under, the same cloak Doyoung had once wrapped around the both of them) and hurried outside. Yuta didn’t resist, and passed Doyoung to pull him along instead. Down the streets, further and further away, until they finally stopped at a small field, hidden by trees, a bit further away from the buildings. Hidden, yet free.

 

For what felt like minutes, they just stood there, taking each other in. doyoung still holding onto Yuta’s sleeve. Doyoung let his eyes roam over Yuta’s face, mapping out his features, imprinting them in his memory. Doyoung knew Yuta was doing the same.

 

Then, still with watery eyes and shaky breath, Yuta slowly lifted the arm that wasn’t being held down by Doyoung and moved it up, up, to touch Doyoung’s face. Doyoung smiled through the tears, and let go of Yuta’s other hand. Immediately, Yuta stepped closer and also lifted his other hand to cradle Doyoung’s face with both. He slowly shook his head, a wide smile growing on his face.

 

Yuta was the first to break the silence. “This is real?” he asked, and his voice and touch were so loving and gentle Doyoung felt himself fall in love all over again. “You’re real?” Yuta continued when Doyoung nodded, voice growing bolder. “You’re really here?”

 

Doyoung nodded again, and leaned further into Yuta’s touch. “I imagined your first words to me to be much different,” he blurted out, and Yuta laughed.

 

“Well, what did you expect?” he threw back, and Doyoung grew serious again.

 

He moved his hands to cover Yuta’s, that were still holding Doyoung’s face, and leaned closer. “I love you,” he said simply.

 

Yuta’s eyes widened again, and his breath caught in his throat. “Again,” he choked out, eyes welling up again.

 

“I love you,” Doyoung gladly repeated.

 

“Say it again,” Yuta pleaded, and Doyoung laughed out loud. His heart felt so light, he felt like he could start floating at any second.

 

“I’ll say it however many times you want me to, Yuta,” Doyoung replied, “as long as time allows me.”

 

“Say it then. Again, again, _again_ ,” Yuta said, his voice taking on an almost whiny tone. Doyoung laughed.

 

“I love you,” he answered. “Yuta, I love you. I’m so, _so_ fucking in love with you it hurts.” With that, Yuta whimpered out a beautiful, heart wrenching “I love you too,” and pressed his lips to Doyoung’s.

 

The kiss was nothing like the times Doyoung had dreamed about before. Yuta’s lips were kind of chapped, and the kiss was salty thanks to the tears that were still steadily streaming down Yuta’s face. It was perfect. More perfect than any kiss in any dream ever could’ve been.

 

Somewhere during the kiss, Doyoung had moved his hands to Yuta’s shoulders, one hand’s fingers gently entangling themselves in Yuta’s hair. Yuta’s thumbs were softly stroking Doyoung’s cheeks, which only made it so much sweeter. It was gentle, but passionate. Filled with love. There was no intention behind it other than simply conveying their love through a kiss, again and again and again.

 

When they finally broke apart, Doyoung pulling back first to catch his breath, neither moved far. Doyoung let his forehead rest on Yuta’s, and one of Yuta’s hands moved down to rub slow, loving circles into Doyoung’s waist.

 

“I love you,” Yuta whispered, eyes still closed in pure bliss, and Doyoung easily returned the words. They remained like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presences, basking in the fact that they could finally be close in a way they hadn’t been able to before.

 

Until loud voices behind them interrupted their peace. “Hyung, hyung!” Jaemin’s clear voice called out behind Doyoung. Yuta chuckled, pressed one more quick peck on Doyoung’s lips and stepped back.

 

“Hyung, are you okay?” Jaemin yelled at them from a distance. “We found out you went to the inn alone, but someone was asking around for you! We followed you to make sure you were safe,” he rambled on. Then, he finally saw Doyoung, and his face cleared up considerably. “Doyoung hyung, hi!”

 

Not even a second later, Doyoung was thrown back into Yuta by the force of Jeno running into him at full speed. His arms were wrapped tightly around Doyoung’s waist. His face was hidden in Doyoung’s shoulder, but Doyoung could feel the wetness spreading through his tunic right away. He smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around Jeno’s shoulders, pressing his own face into Jeno’s hair.

 

“Shhh, baby,” he gently whispered to soothe Jeno, “it’s alright. I’m here, big brother is here. I’m staying this time, Jeno. For good.”

 

In lieu of a reply, Jeno’s arms just squeezed tighter around his waist. He felt, more than saw Jaemin also wrapping himself around both Jeno and Doyoung and Doyoung held back a laugh when he looked up and saw Jaemin was, if only barely, now taller than Jeno.

 

Yuta pressed a kiss onto Doyoung’s cheek, and Doyoung shyly gave him one back on the lips. Jaemin smiled, but didn’t comment on the dried tear stains on their faces.  Yuta wrapped an arm around Doyoung’s shoulder, leaning his head on the other and wrapped his other arm around Jaemin, finishing the family hug. Doyoung pressed a kiss into Yuta’s hair, and felt him smile into his shoulder.

 

“So,” Yuta mumbled, voice muffled by the fabric of Doyoung’s tunic, “you’re really staying? Forever?”

 

Warmth blossomed in Doyoung’s chest, spread through his entire body like wildfire. He had never, not once before in his whole life, felt as loved as he did now in the embrace of his brother, his lover and their… Jaemin. Dog. Brother’s lover. Precious friend. It didn't matter.

 

Doyoung knew that he had finally found what he had never really been looking for, but had sunconsciously longed for anyway. Doyoung knew that with these people, he was home. Finally, truly _home_.

 

So, he smiled, and kissed Yuta’s hair again, just because he could.

 

“Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> need to get this off my chest;  
> zenyu (kanji: 全癒) means complete healing
> 
>  
> 
> (with the idea behind it being jeno being cured by yuta, and doyoung getting his own share of healing by discovering himself and finding love and happiness :D)
> 
> (+ [yuta](https://twitter.com/nakamotoyutos/status/1135597128712151040?s=19))

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me here  
> [twitter ](https://twitter.com/nakamotoyutos)  
> [curiouscat ](https://curiouscat.me/yutomi)
> 
>  
> 
> [jaemins dog form](https://cdn1-www.dogtime.com/assets/uploads/gallery/samoyed-dogs-and-puppies/samoyed-dogs-puppies-5.jpg)
> 
>  
> 
> what i imagined [yuta ](https://twitter.com/nakamotoyutos/status/1135597128712151040?s=19) to look like


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